Dd has failed first year at uni....what now?

[JacobReesMogadishu]

Well I assume she has. She hasn’t done any assignments since Feb and had 2 big assignments to do and hasn’t done them. She’s having mental health issues and says she just couldn’t face any uni work. She hasn’t been in touch with uni/tutors about it, hasn’t talked to them. But she won’t have passed if she hasn’t done these assignments.

She says she could maybe repeat the last half of the first year, so return in Feb next year and carry on. But hasn’t actually asked her tutors if this is possible. Though she says there were people in her hear who had dropped down from the previous year and done this.

She’s been having mental health issues and just diagnosed with depression, ptsd. She’s been referred for CBT but we’re going to pay privately for thjs so she can get seen sooner.

It’s a really hard course she’s doing, architecture so stressful, loads of work. Personally I don’t think it’s the best course to do if you’re struggling with mental health and coping with the work. I’d rather she change degree and either start something totally different in Sept this year or even next year. But she keeps saying if she gets her mental health sorted out she will be fine. I think she’s kidding herself.

I’m worried that if she repeats the year and in a year’s time we’re in the. Same position. She will have wasted two years of her life and accrued more debt.

What happens short term. Can she sign on the dole now?

The best thing is to speak to the university and see what they suggest and what they can do to support her.

I think you really need to change your negative, dooms day attitude, because that isn't going to help anything and your daughter will pick up on how disappointed you are. That certainly won't help her recover from her mental health issues.

Ok, so this year didn't go as planned. Big deal. Your daughter is very young and what has been done can be redone with better results. As for wasting two years of her life, that's a defeatist attitude to have. I would look at it from the standpoint that she has used these years to grow and get the help she needs. Your daughter needs support, not discouraging, and changing her degree to make you feel better is a terrible idea. Be her biggest cheerleader, not her biggest critic, and allow her to make her own path.

I think she should put a pin in uni for now. Perhaps for several years. If something isn't working for her (or in this case I suppose, her, for it) then why repeat and expect different results?

She needs to take time off for her mental health and perhaps do something else in the mean time like a part time job if it can be handled.

You say ptsd, is there a cause?
To me this needs to be investigated further, not in the least as because personality disorders such as bpd can be mistaken for PTSD. I'd get a second opinion just incase.

Dont throw good money after bad. Tell her to take some time off uni. Maybe go to college part time instead? Might be less stressful.

Disagree with pp. OP is being practical - if she hasn't told anyone and tries to catch up with the failed modules next year, and doesn't manage to, that's two years of loans wasted. While everyone can 'waste' one year, more that means she has to fund herself for a year later on in life.

She has various options - but the most important thing is to keep her university informed. She/you MUST do this - perhaps she can give you written permission to contact them on her behalf? If she ends up not being well enough to continue next year, then having evidence of MH issues may mean that SLC will allow this year not to count towards her entitlement. BUT KEEP EVERYONE INFORMED!

Options include interrupting and coming back next Jan to continue where she left off. Taking a year out, and/or starting her first year again elsewhere. Possibly resitting over the summer.

Architecture is a pretty heavy subject and the pressure continues after that as then the game is on to get chartered.
I agree with others that the uni will be able to help and perhaps with Covid they will be able to give her a bit of grace to get back on it. I really hope her MH improves.
If she wants to look at alternative courses within the built environment there are many options. Quantity Surveying is a decent job with a bit less pressure and still quite well paid (charter ship as well). Project Management is also heavily involved in major construction projects.

I agree with bunnymummy

Architecture is hard and being an architect is harder. Your DD needs to meet the client brief and work to deadlines. Her uni tutors don’t seem to have helped themselves either.

I was in the same position as your daughter and although I carried on and managed to complete my degree, I wish I had dropped out to be honest. She needs to get in touch with the welfare department at her university to discuss her options, maybe taking a year out would be for the best. She could move home, get a part time job for a bit of income/independence and have therapy too. For someone who's depressed, the idea of catching up on all that work, turning up to lectures and seminars everyday and trying to do small things like get dressed and stay on top of chores/everyday admin was incredibly overwhelming, I started shutting yourself off from the outside world and it took a really long time to get back out there. This is just my personal opinion but I think the important thing right now is to focus on how to help her feel better, with less focus on her uni/future prospects.

Yeah, I didn’t mean to sound negative by talking to her about maybe doing another course but she was doing 60 hour weeks at uni and I don’t think that can help. She’s adamant it wasn’t anything to do with the workload though.

There is a cause for the PTSD although I didn’t know about it until recently.

I’ve just helped her compose an email to her personal tutor and she’s going to send that tomorrow. Asking about her options and if she will have to pay for an extra term if she can repeat the last term. Though to be honest it’s hardly repeating it as she basically dropped out in March and didn’t tell anyone!

She’s adamant that starting back next year is what she wants. That she desperately wants to be an architect, not anything else. I guess by next March if her mental health doesn’t seem better she can rethink it. But for now it sounds like that’s the aim.

I daren’t mention signing on to her. I don’t think she would cope with that extra stress/pressure of the dole office Asking her how many jobs she’s applied for. She has got a part time barista job, though still furloughed at the minute.

Has she mentioned that she would consider part time or has that not been discussed?

There will probably be an opportunity to resit this summer and if she passes she’d be able to go into 2nd year. Deferral would probably also be an option. Talking to her tutor and to student services will clarify that and help with a plan going forward. Student Services can provide guidance, support and counselling as needed so may be a helpful resource for her anyway if life is tough for her at the moment.

What are her university doing in terms of allowing students to pass the year? Because of coronavirus the rules may have changed somewhat and assessment may have been put to one side. This doesn’t mean her tutors would be happy for her to progress - if she’s hasn’t even handed in work there will be insufficient marks to judge her on. But yes yes yes to communicating ASAP with welfare and department!

Hi OP, as someone who's sat in a lot of uni exam board meetings (=when we formally decide on student progression), first things first...

1. Do you/your daughter have, or would you be able to obtain, medical evidence around how much she's struggling and how long it's been affecting her for? (e.g. letter from GP, a letter from whichever clinician has just diagnosed her)? This'll definitely help her case with the uni

1. Has she definitely failed her first year (i.e. has she been notified of this in writing or been sent results) or is she assuming she's failed her first year?

Either way, she may well be able to appeal a failure, or be excused from the now-past coursework deadlines and so avoid failing c/o not submitting assignments, based on her health problems. However, you need to know where exactly you are in the assessment and ratification of results process.

Your daughter may say that she needed to put in a mitigating circumstances request ahead of the coursework deadline, but many unis will consider post-deadline requests for students struggling with their mental health. We realise that the very nature of mental health issues can make it hard for students to understand their options around withdrawing from assessments and for them to identify the most appropriate course of action.

Once you know where you are in the assessment process, then you can look into possible options for withdrawing/appealing on health grounds. Students union advice centres can often be very helpful with writing these sorts of applications if tutors can't help.

Only once you've explored the potential withdraw/appeal route with no success would I suggest you accept that she's failed the year.

Other posters have already discussed some of the possibilities if she has failed. One thing I'd add to the debate is to consider how her dept's planning to deliver teaching next academic year. Lots of depts are using pretty much exclusively online learning for the first term, and some have already said that they may be online only for the whole academic year. If she struggles with feelings of loneliness and isolation, this might exacerbate them. On the other hand, being able to study from the relative safety of her bedroom (could she keep living with you for the term?) might make things easier for her.

Only you and she can really know which of the various options'd be best for her, her wellbeing, and her learning.

Definitely speak to university. It is very hard dealing with mental health and trying to motivate your myself to do anything. I cannot imagine having to complete uni work when I’m at my lowest. They will be able to help I’m sure. Good luck

For now, put aside the 'what ifs'.

First thing is to talk with her tutor, good call.

They will be able to advise what they will allow. Then you can work with the options and go from there.

This happens A LOT. So much more than anyone outside of HE Admissions/Support would ever guess-this is my job. If this course or uni isnt for her then something else will be. It is a tough ask to choose your career at age 18, many get it wrong. Many find uni isnt for them. Many change universities. Some pause and go back later, some don't. It seems devastating while it is going on, and it's definitely a difficult situation. But there is always another path-and many find they are much happier on it.

Good luck xxx

What 300x says. Many universities are letting 1st year students progress without second semester assessments this year, but she does need to contact her personal tutor ASAP.

She can definitely get evidence of her diagnosis.

She doesn’t know for sure she’s failed the year, she hasn’t/won’t open her emails. However she doesn’t want to continue in this year for two reasons, well three.

Firstly she’s not sure her mental health will be good enough to be back in sept. Secondly the ptsd event relates to something which happened at uni and involved a boy on her course in the year above her. She can’t cope with seeing him for another year but reckons she could cope with having to see him for one more term. She has never reported this event, says she can’t tell her tutor incase her tutor insists on doing something for safeguarding reasons and makes things worse. Dd says she has no evidence so no point.

Then of course there’s the issue of no face to face teaching at the start of next year, definitely nothing until after Xmas.

So starting the last part of year 1 again in March seems best All round. Now I’d somehow there could be a backdated withdrawal so it was like she was never there from March onwards this year that could be good.

What @NeverEnoughCake2 said. The one thing your DD needs to work on is her communication with her tutor/s. We’re prepared to move heaven and earth to help students who are struggling explore their options for deferral/resits/repeating a year/time out, but they need to let us know they are. All we can do is contact them repeatedly and ask them to come and see us and escalate that they’ve gone AWOL higher up the line, but we can’t show up at their houses.

I failed semester two of first year due to similar reasons to your DD (mental health issues, relationship breakdown) i went back the following year on a part time timetable to make up the credits I missed and then joined the class below me for 2nd year. Just about to start third year after Summer.

She HAS to speak to her tutors though, as scary as it may sound.

@JacobReesMogadishu sorry to hear your DD is going through this.
We’ve had similar issues with DS who is a 1st year Biology student.
It was about 5 weeks after coming home at Easter that he told us that he’d been depressed and had not been going to lectures or doing work.
We have been slowly working through things, firstly getting help for his mental health and then thinking about what to do next and contacting uni.
He was given the following options, with proof of MH issues he could start again in year one, or do the missing modules and either return to year 2 in September or defer a year and then join year two next September, obviously this is dependant on passing yr 1.
The workload he is required to do is reduced because of Covid, they didn’t take exams and he only needs to get 40% in his units to pass.
He contacted the course leader and a tutor they explained his options, he’s going to be set module questions on 24th July and all work has to be submitted between 17-28th August.
We also contact student support at his university and they have been very helpful and supportive, we’ve (he asked me to be involved) had 2 zoom sessions with student support and they are also going to put things in place to support DS when he returns.
DS is feeling a lot better about things and revising for the upcoming work he’ll have to do, obviously it will be down to him to pass, so things could still go wrong but he does now want to return.
I would suggest you contact your DD course tutor and student services to see what her options are.
Hopefully you can find a way forward especially as she’s so keen to continue doing architecture.

She needs to get in touch with the undergraduate office in her department immediately and ask to apply for extenuating circumstances. They may allow her to simply resit.

In similar scenario. DD wants to start all over again in a different college. She wants us to pay 6K to fund that. We don't have it spare.

We want her to work it out with the college she's in but she is refusing to.

Everything NeverEnoughCake2 and LesNanas said.

Also re the incident causing PTSD: her tutor doesn't have quite the same safeguarding duties as a teacher. Your dd is an adult and they are not in loco parentis. She can explain what happened without even needing to give names. Her tutor can still support her.

Sorry, missed that this was a revived thread.

She's not ready. Fuck it off till she is. Not worth the stress