Heading towards 4th year or post grad/jobs

[Xenia]

Continuation of the previous thread for those of us with children who are just finishing their 3rd year at university (so either "graduating" in 2020 or going into year 4 in Autumn 2020)..........

My twins' degree results will be out in late July. Good luck to everyone else waiting for finals results.

DD called us this morning, we got a zoom tour of her house.

Is it nice Errol? It's great to be able to picture her there once you've see it

It's fine - certainly nicer than the student houses/flats DH and I had in the dim and distant past.

Hi
I’m hoping to catch Xenia on this thread for a law question. I’m a participant here as have a year 4 vet dd1. DD2 is a year 2 undergrad ( not law) She is exploring a career in law and trying to understand the new exam changes and what it means re applying for a training contract.
Does law conversion still exist ?
How do you even start working out which law firms to apply to ?
I understand the odds are not great but she is currently at a university which is a regular source of trainees.

I’m also after advice

What can you do if a housemates gf moved in without any other housemates agreement and without paying anything towards rent or bills. Not on the tenancy agreement and the others don’t want her to live there though happy for her to visit a couple of nights a week (like any gf/bf) Hopefully she will comply but if not, what’s the advice?!

This happened to DD last year. As soon as they said the boyfriend had to contribute to bills, he spent less nights at their house and stopped bringing his washing over. They were prepared to have him there as long as he paid his way (even though technically he shouldn't have been there). They all need to say something, even if it is just "no".

Very tricky BTM. I guess first a general chat with gf (and bf) is needed to ask what her plans are and where she'll be living. If she announces that she'll be staying then a frank conversation about bills is next - or they need to take the bull by the horns and tell flatmate it's not happening.

This happened to me at university, back in the 80s. Gf moved in, using all the hot water (we had an egg cup sized immersion heater - no central heating ) and generally being there . I don’t know what happened as I moved out! (Other reasons)

A couple of years after university I was that gf. I only stayed a couple of nights a week but it caused a massive row and the parents of the landlord turned up to help him complain

They have had the chat several times over - DD and the other two boys have told her she has to be out by the end of the month several times. She has been trying to persuade them to let her stay. They are adamant, but think she will move her stuff out and then be back to stay more than half the week. They were all (including gf) good friends but the flat is just not really big enough even if she did contribute.

@IrmaFayLear, they are ok with a couple of nights a week, but the fact that she is not embarrassed to have them all tell her to go and is still begging/being rude

Gosh, hide of a rhino...

Yes!
No self respect or awareness

At least if she moves her stuff out then she presumably has another place where she's using the washing machine etc and where lover boy can go back to stay at hers.

Perhaps they can agree together a general rule for ALL housemates that if any partner, friend or random 'other' stays more than half a week (4 nights) then they are no longer 'guest' but a temporary 'resident' and must contribute a fair share to that week's bills.

If they all agree on this now then if anyone else acquires an overnight partner at some point through the year, then flatmate boyfriend can't complain that his gf was treated differently.

That’s a good idea @Haffdonga. Maybe shutting the stable door and all that, but it makes it the same rule for them all.

My DD1 has same scenario re “extra” flatmate though hers is a boyfriend who is working ( well paid job 32K ) I think I posted higher up this thread. He is not contributing financially ....yet. They are having a flat meeting to discuss shortly and hope they can come up with a sensible solution. University own the flat and this guy is not a student which I think given the current Covid scenario makes it even more complicated. I thought dd might have to move out because of this but she seems determined to stay at least for this year.

@olliepolly, why would your DD have to move out?
Surely he should go. Or gf and him both go and rent their own place.

DD has finally got her grade. She was very disappointed it was a 2:2, following poor results in year 2 (when she was going through a crisis). She was hoping to scrape a 2:1. However ... she was thrilled to get a 1st for her dissertation.

We have told her it was due to her own strength of character that she finished her degree at all ... and once she's finished her Masters that grade will be more important.

She's done brilliantly *SMaCM, she should be proud of herself.

Thanks HorseMad. 6 months ago I would never have thought she'd finish.

That's great for her - well done to finish under the circumstances

@SMaCM I'm sorry dd is disappointed with her grade but congratulations anyway. It's an enormous achievement that she has a degree and I agree once she has a masters, her grade will be less relevant.

@SMaCM, well done to your DD, and onwards and upwards with her Masters!

She's done really well to stick at it and then do so well for her dissertation. Onwards and upwards indeed!

It’s complicated by her flatmate saying family have Covid related financial difficulties. DD not going to move out but did move room to facilitate couple having more space !!! All unsatisfactory in many ways . I am hoping he does end up making some financial contribution. Anyhow I am really leaving it to DD to sort.
Hoping Xenia Checks in soon re my law question above as she always has good advice on law related issues.

olliepolly does your DD want to be a barrister or solicitor? What sort of law does she think she'd be interested in? What subject is she reading? What were her prelims like?