First time Uni mum

[SouthCoastShell]

What advice would you give to a first time Uni mum?

Your DC is going to university or you? Advice would be different!

Good point myomy! It's my eldest son starting at university this year, he's the first one in my family to go so I'm rather in the dark!

Get him to get a file together of important stuff as he will need documentation and ID for enrolment.
Make sure he knows that he will need to enrol with a GP in the uni city.
Dont spend a fortune on new appliances for the kitchen, most unis wont let you use your own microwaves or George Foremans.

A lot of unis ban door wedges! Just use a book.
Send him with a plastic emergencies box. Paracetamol, antiseptic, plasters, tweezers, needle, thread, screwdriver, scissors etc. All of mine (and their flatmates) have used theirs loads.
Dont whatever you do, ask in here for advice re a new backpack

That's really helpful MyoMy thanks but now I really want to ask about the backpack!!!

Sorry that ⬆️ should be serin

Hi again.

Check what he needs for the course. Laptop and printer? Sometimes printing at university is expensive. Note books, pens etc. Books. Phone and charger.

Then look at what is provided in his accommodation. Usually you need personal cooking equipment and utensils, crockery and cutlery etc if self catering. Starter pack of food.

Usually two sets of sheets, pillow cases and possibly one duvet cover. Check size of bed. You probably need a duvet and possibly a mattress topper. Personal clothes and toiletries. Grooming equipment and any medication. Pix etc for noticeboard. Anything he wants to remind him of home.

Anything else you can send via Amazon. Or he can get from a supermarket. Cleaning materials and loo brush if en suite.

The university might have recommendations. You normally get a dropping off slot so don’t take the kitchen sink - you won’t have time for large drop offs. Pack everything in bags you can actually lift and move and ensure he has a weekend bag for coming home.

I’m sure others will have more ideas. But keep to basics and add more as he goes along if necessary. Try and suss out kettles and shared equipment before he gets there if possible. 8 kettles on day 1 is overkill!

MyOMy making lists as we speak, lots of good advice especially weekend bag. I like the idea of sending things from Amazon but how how does post get to his university accommodation room?

Post is normally delivered to the block, which will either have mail boxes or a reception with staff. Students can then pick their mail up. Amazon also have lockers at most unis and you can post to his nearest locker....he’ll get a QR code to scan to open the locker.

I always packed a bag with things needed to set up room like bluetack, command strips, tape, scissors, bin bags etc -easy to find the things to get set up. Posters, pics from home nice.

Take the bedding in first and make bed so you can then pile stuff on it to get organised.

Take away as much rubbish/packing as you can. Usually there will be a whats app or Facebook chat for your DS accommodation and then you can see what others are bringing and coordinate things like toasters and kettles.

What is the loo situation? Storage vital so a thing to hook over shower head for shampoo etc.

Don't bring too many pots and kitchen things as again space at a premium. 2 plates, cutlery, a pot, a wok and something to cook in the oven with.

Hanging storage shelf things useful in wardrobe as usually need drawer space more than hanging. Bring hangers.

Laundry basket (or ikea bag for him to take to do his laundry). Usually you have to put money on a card to use laundry facilities so make sure he has money/card to set everything up.

Take some basic food and alcohol to help break the ice.

Not sure what will happen with freshers this year-but a random thing someone suggested to me was fancy dress- always good to have as some night out will be dressing up.

Some things you can do to help prepare him:

Assuming he is going to be self catering, make sure he knows how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch (eg stir fry, jacket potato, pasta and sauce), including doing ball the relevant shopping. Put him in charge of the household meals for a day or two!

Get him managing his money now, as far as possible. So, he pays for his phone, he handles buying any clothes or whatever else is needed - even if it's technically your money, the point is to get him used to handling money in larger quantities/having to make it last longer than he may be used to. If he gets any sort of allowance at present, consider giving it eg monthly instead of weekly.

Make sure he knows how to clean things, use a Hoover, and do laundry. If he isn't already doing his own laundry, have him start.

(These may sound like obvious things but you would be astonished how many students turn up completely incapable of doing them).

Also, agree in advance what you both expect in terms of the frequency and method of contact you'll have. A mismatch can be very frustrating, not least for the poor sod who has to try to track him down when you're convinced he's lying in a ditch somewhere because he hasn't called every day!

A mini medical kit was vital for my dd. We also started her off with a really decent food and booze shop, before she started budgeting it in for herself. As others have said, things to personalise his bedroom. A lamp and a couple of mini cacti. The hangers that you can put over the top of door or wardrobe to give extra hanging space. A bit of fancy dress for themed nights !

Don't forget condoms in the medical kit and a strong talking to about safe sex and sensible drinking - then send him with a 6 pack to share in his halls on the first day.

Second teaching him to cook and do household stuff.

Tell him to be true to himself. There are loads of people at uni and he will find a group of friends quickly.

Don't forget the academics. It's a shock going to uni. Especially if he was a high achiever at school. He might find he goes from being top of the class to near the middle or bottom at uni. THIS IS OK. It will take him some time to get use to the new ways of working and doing things

A laundry bag is a good idea. I don’t think they need too many bin bags or household paraphernalia because it’s easy to get all that from a supermarket. Don’t pack unnecessary stuff because it’s you who will be carrying it into the hall in a limited time slot.

Halls of residence have a central office where deliveries are made for students. Or a drop off zone. Both my DDs successfully used it for ASOS deliveries!

Once he knows which hall of residence he will be in, he should be able to check the specifics of what is provided, what is not and what is forbidden. Even if all the university owned and managed blocks have the same regulations, a lot of universities also contract accommodation from outside providers such as Unite or Host and things may well be different in those halls.

Which university is he hoping to go to?

Come over and join us on the thread of people with DCs starting in the autumn - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/higher_education/3918392-University-2020-5-Results-day-approaching-and-beyond?msgid=97572829

Uni lecturer here. As soon as he gets his uni email address, he must remember to check it. So much info will go there yet it's remarkable how many students don't check it regularly. Also, most Unis have good Welfare systems be that pastoral or academic. If you make sure he knows he can always ask for help - about anything - and feels comfortable doing so, he will be OK. All the staff I know would go, and do go, above and beyond for our students but we can't read minds, and most of us see hundreds of students so we won't necessarily know if they're not being themselves. If he is able to ask for help, he'll get it.

Help him to calculate his budget in a way which makes him realise how much money he will have each week.

If it's the same as when I went, we were given all of our student loan for a whole semester at the start of our first year and lots of students who had never budgeted before spent the whole lot in the first few weeks and then struggled to make ends meet.

SouthCoastShell
The backpack thread was an infamous thread on here last year when someone asked for advice re buying her son a backpack for uni and all Hell unexpectedly broke loose.
It ran on and on for weeks with some folk accusing her of mollycoddling/micromanaging him and others supporting her.
Was MN at it's worst really.

The money comes in three instalments - when the rent is due for the accommodation usually!

Most DC don’t take forbidden appliances. They read the info beforehand.

Thank you all so much for your comments is all super helpful and im starting the list writing! Not sure how to tag people but marchingfrogs he is hoping to start at Surrey .

When does he hear about which hall he’s in? Then you can drill down on info.

www.surrey.ac.uk/accommodation/our-accommodation

This has a list of what is provided.

The video on the split-level shared rooms briefly flashed up the list of banned items, but it will be listed elsewhere as well.

MyOMy we won't know anymore until August 13 his insurance choice is Portsmouth and they don't offer halls accommodation to insurance so that's going to be something to look into also.

Marchingfrogs thank you for the link. We went to the open day just before lockdown but were not allowed to see the accommodation so thank you for that!

My DD1 had to take her insurance university and no accommodation there for insurance students was a big issue. However they found her something. If not, they normally have a meeting for similar students, they “make friends” and try and find a house for students on the open market. If there are any left of course that a not tips. They don’t even know where to look. This year, it might not be so dire. Lack of students might mean they can offer accommodation to everyone.

In the meantime, assume Surrey and you willl find John Lewis and Amazon are useful for new student equipment if you don’t have lots of spare kit at home.