First time Uni mum

[SouthCoastShell]

What advice would you give to a first time Uni mum?

You're getting loads of great advice. You'll take him shopping for door wedges, mattress toppers and cheese graters. You'll have taught him to cook several basic meals and have discussed safe sex and drug use. You may get to know about his new uni flatmates through facebook. He'll be nervous and excited and so will you on the big weekend when you finally drop him off.

And then silence. You'll hear nothing. He'll be living his life and he'll be too busy to ring. You may never know if he uses the carefully chosen cheese grater and which of those flatmates he likes or not. It's really really tough for you (not him) - that sudden cliff drop from the building excitement to the total silence at home when they've gone. My real advice to you is to prepare yourself emotionally for him going and enjoy it as a happy positive step to his independence and adulthood. It is way harder on the ones left behind than the ones who go but all you can do is know that you'be brought him to this stage and thanks to you he will be thriving,

And then he will be back home before you know it - all different and new with new friends and new jokes and new ideas - but also still him.

Good luck (to you). He most probably doesn't need it.

@haffdonga love your post!

Who takes a cheese grater? Carefully chosen or not. Door wedges of cheese are infinitely better.

Proper door wedges are bits of folded cardboard. Check the fire regs though.

The more extras you take, the more you carry.

Hopefully you get texts. Phone calls - unlikely!

@Haffdonga you have reduced me to tears! I think it's sinking in after reading that. I'm so happy for him but sad that it's time for letting go 😪

@Haffdonga your message was very wise! I'm in tears now at the realization of what is to come 😪 I'm so happy for him and his new independence but sad that things move on.

I don't know if there will be a Sainsbury's there but they have a 'baked bean card'. Can remember what it's actually called but you top it up every week/ month or however much you want to from your side and the money goes to their side of the card. Teaches them about money because it's meant to last for however long - can't waste it all in one day!

Thank you crowberts there is a Tesco next to the campus so I plan to get him a duplicate payment card I can top up and hopefully get the points!

Hi, this article may be of use to you www.whatuni.com/advice/coronavirus-covid-19-updates/how-can-i-support-my-child-going-to-university/89028/ , I know it is probably more stressful with the current situation too! I would agree where budgets are concerned and having a laundry bag in his room!! Definetely don't overpack either, it might feel like he needs to take everything he owns but it won't be necessary!

@jadefnewman thank for that but the link isn't working would you send again please

www.whatuni.com/advice/coronavirus-covid-19-updates/how-can-i-support-my-child-going-to-university/89028/

Sorry @jadefnewman the link doesn't work

The link works for me.

This is a really useful thread, thanks all.

After results day, you'll get the accommodation offer, then about 3 or 4 days in which you have to pay quite a sizeable deposit.
(I obvs don't know what your finances are like, but this could come as an insurmountable surprise if you aren't expecting it).

The maintenance loan comes in 3 uneven chunks (Sept, January, and after Easter) and for my dc it sort of comes in then goes out to pay the accomm. the next day.
Depends on lots of things, but most of us need to also give our dc money. Think hard about how they will manage to budget.
Not many experienced adults would cope well with getting all the money once a term. Most manage once a month, but it's not a bad idea to send them their money once a week in the first year or first term at least, in order to get them used to budgeting. However remember to front load that, as of course, when you have literally nothing in to begin with, you need to buy EVERYTHING in the first week, that would normally be 'top up occasionally' things - from toilet rolls to cooking oil. From tea bags to ketchup. From toothpaste to washing up liquid. (Or, of course, start buying 2 or 3 items a week now and set them up with a box of stuff to begin with).

Thank you @BackforGood really good advice

I'm on my 3rd, about to start

Practical tips - make sure he knows how to get healthcare on evenings and weekends.

Money - talk about budgeting. My dc both used Monzo cards and would transfer across their weekly budget.

Academic - turn up! read email, do the work and ask for help if needed. Try and make friends with others on course and set up whatsapp group to chat and support each other.

Add value - add value to degree course by looking for jobs/internships in summer break or volunteering, course related societies etc