University life for our soon to be Year 2 undergrads (2019 intake): social bubbles (bursting?), the new normal and hopefully no second wave

[NewModelArmyMayhem18]

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Thank you. I know Manchester and Sheffield have a lot of Chinese students - it means that there are some cracking places to get a good Chinese meal

There's a China Town in Manchester, isn't there? I've only ever visited the once but have yummy memories of my Chinese meal there!

It would appear we are a bit buggered with DS's house. Although we believed we were only his guarantor it seems if it's a joint tenancy agreement we become joint guarantors.

What I don't understand is why they don't chase up the girl's guarantor for her debts.

I genuinely thought we had looked into this and that Lincoln uni only approved housing agencies who didn't pull this stunt!

Would it be cheaper to threaten to take her to a small claims court @Piggywaspushed? I think you should push for the letting agency to chase her/her guarantor. Sounds as if they're trying the path of least resistance. Completely not on that she's going to get away with this.

And/or get in touch with the Lincoln University Accommodation Office to ask for their opinion?

Yes, I might do the latter.
They definitely want to readvertise her room but she hasn't signed a form. I also want to know if a 4th person comes in whether we become liable again for them!!

We were warned off about the joint guarantor things and genuinely believed we had avoided that as Lincoln said they don't endorse those agents...

I definitely think there is no point in her having a guarantor if it means nothing unless they all drop out!

@mum2eim I think dd found the set up of exams easier than normal ones (she's a slow worker) but it wouldn't have suited me. However she does seem to have a number of friends who are the look at it and it's so obvious they can't explain it, so she feels like she's always behind.

I expect there were a number of first years who worked for the 40% to pass as it doesn't matter, you just need to pass, so I'm hoping that they don't scale them. Dd said her worst exam coincided with when ds was in hospital with appendicitis, so she thinks she's done not very well on that one. He went in and there was a 12 hour wait for theatre, and an wait for him to come out (he was 4.5 hours before I was called to recovery, and they expect the operation to be about an hour)so she was on tenderhooks waiting to hear from me, so she couldn't concentrate properly.

I just hope she passes. Hope they all do, as it would be so unfair after such a disrupted year.

Gosh @Witchend that sounds like a stressful exam for your DD and for you waiting to hear from the recovery room. All during lockdown as well which must have made it super stressful. I’m hoping that they don’t really want first years to fail if they can help it. Tbh I’m trying not to think about the outcome.
@Piggywaspushed your situation with the house sounds dreadful. I’m thinking what we would do in the same situation. I’m off to look at the contract but the payments to the landlord are individual for each student so I’m hoping not shared lease. I think advice from the uni accommodation office sounds good as are the other suggestions on here.
I think something like this would tip me over the edge at the mo. I just feel constantly anxious about stuff.

It was quite stressful for the rest of us. Ds otoh quite enjoyed himself. he's announced he can cross two things off his bucket list (going in a wheelchair and being on a drip) and is most put out that his scar isn't bigger to gross his sisters out.
DD is calmer than me about the exam results. Mind you I think that I am more stressed about the dc's results (dd2 has GCSEs this year) than I ever was about my own.

I think the contract for dd's house we are guarantor for everyone, except one of the students is from abroad so they insist that person pays all upfront, and there's only 3 of them. I'm hoping they get along well next term and renew the contract fairly quickly to avoid stress.

I definitely think there is no point in her having a guarantor if it means nothing unless they all drop out! Quite @Piggywaspushed. Would it be worth checking out with CAB too? I wonder whether it was her intention all along to bail out (convenient that their contract allows her to do so without financial repercussions to herself).

Your poor DS @Witchend. Hope he's making a good recovery. No wonder your DD couldn't focus on her exam.

I have just been going through old threads to try and find our discussions about rent and guarantors and I found the thread about how ill all your DCs were around Xmas!

I wrote the immortal words dons facemask

Such psychic powers! shame they didn't extend to the rent situation

The contract does mention joint and several but we still have not seen what we signed as guarantors. They are being a bit passive aggressive with us now , but the contract does say there is no 'break clause'. I think the girl herself has decided to sofa surf a bit. She sounds a bloody liability. Wish I had know how flaky she was back in Jan!

@Piggywaspushed clearly you have the 'varda' as DP calls it!

Yes, she does sound flaky. Suspect she did not really think things through properly when she agreed to be part of the house-share. So she's planning on sofa-surfing for free instead? Charming!

When you say 'they' do you mean the letting agent or the landlord? I would check carefully because they may just be trying a fast one to make sure they don't have the hassle of chasing the flaky one!

When I was in my final year I lived in a house-share but I'm pretty sure we all had our contracts with the landlord rather than a joint one. Mind you no-one would have thought about moving because we lived sooooo close to our university!

They are the agents. Who have not phoned us back. Grrr.

So I posted something in Legal Matters and got some help. But still, lo and behold descends some pillock telling me he is grown up, not to hold his hand and wittering on about mummy and daddy.

FFS, I'm a legal guarantor of this rent!

What kicks do other posters get out of this? It reminded me of the backpack thread!!

Hi all! Don’t think I’ve been on this particular thread. Sorry to hear about the Ilness @Witchend which makes me wonder whether @Zandathepanda’s DD has made a full recovery? Anyone know?

Hoping accommodation problems are sorted out pretty sharpish, how annoying! It seem really odd landlords can still pull this stunt when you originally thought you’d avoided it @Piggywaspushed. You should know by now that there are many idiots on MN who just have to make themselves feel superior by trotting out the same lines to belittle and make you question your parenting. Don’t forget backpacking!😂 A lot of these posters would never actually take their own advice in rl. Ignore ignore ignore!

I see you’ve given a salute to the “backpack” thread already.😊

shimy ! I was thinking about you earlier ! Obviously because of my backpacking comment, I spirited you up !

Indeed you did😂.

@Piggywaspushed

I don't understand the "they're 19, they're on their own" thought on such things. I can only assume that the people who post such a thing have either much younger or much older.
In the way that a 5yo looks like a grown up who knows everything about life when you only have a 2yo, people who haven't reached that stage yet think a 19yo is old and able to deal with everything.
And in the same way that MIL says she potty trained all hers by 6months, why aren't yours potty trained at 8months? When you can see by the photo she shows you that BIL was still in nappies on their 3rd birthday, but she's conveniently forgotten that.

Hha , yes true!

I think as a teacher who now has children, it made me so much more sensitive and aware that many are still children even at school leaving and very dependent and anxious or just not people of the world.

Colleagues who aren't parents or have very young children often expect a lot more, and are less forgiving. Which may be a good thing. I'm a softie.

I totally agree Witchend. There are far too many posters on MN who think that as soon as a young person turns 18 they become sensible, confident aduts capable of dealing with anything thrown at them. That assumption makes me so cross.

And as for the MIL potty training claims, I had that as well from my MIL.

Yes, there are some totally unrealistic expectations on here about how young adults cope with 'real life' (I still struggle with many legal/tax/admin issues and I am over 60 ). Through my volunteering I meet some young people who have no support and it is heartbreaking to try and help them sort out some of the financial disasters they have got mixed up in because they have had no parental/adult guidance.

I am sure we are all trying to do our best to support our young adult children as they negotiate life skills - and as Piggy points out, we are still financially responsible for them anyway as guarantors and topping up the maintenance loans etc.

Do all universities actually officially send you end of first year results? Mine never did (or second year), you just did your own averaging and worked out what you had. Nothing yet or in the pipeline from ds's when I asked him about it either.

DD got an email last week

We didn't have officially get anything on paper until the end of third year - you just had to do the maths yourself to see how on track you were for whatever classification!

DS got an email last week saying they’ll get end of yr results on 31/7. This is in addition to his grades that he’s already got.