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Original poster

What do you wear to a college dinner at Oxford

28 replies

VivaLeBeaver · 15/01/2020 20:47

DD’s boyfriend is at Oxford and she’s visiting in a couple of weeks. He’s going to take her to some sort of formal college dinner and has told her to “bring a nice dress”.

How formal are we talking? She has clubbing dresses and a ball gown and nothing in between.

OP posts:
Original poster
VivaLeBeaver · 15/01/2020 20:50

He’s at Magdalen if that makes a difference.

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FabTab · 15/01/2020 21:00

We wore cocktail dresses but I’m a light blue and it was 30 years ago. Hopefully someone more up to date will come along.

Original poster
VivaLeBeaver · 15/01/2020 21:04

Had to think about light blue for a minute but got it. 😆. Thanks.

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Original poster
VivaLeBeaver · 15/01/2020 21:05

It’s a Sunday night dinner which google suggests is more formal than other nights.

Oh, also she has can’t eat gluten and she’s vegetarian....will they cope with this? Does she need to pre warn someone?

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FabTab · 15/01/2020 21:08

They’ll definitely be able to cope with both of these. I would pre warn them though.

laburnumtree · 15/01/2020 21:08

It's been a few years but generally cocktail dresses were the way to go. I have so many lovely dresses I don't get to wear now I'm a single mum and have no smart dinners to go to!

I suspect that now there is a wide range worn between 'smart casual' and almost ball gown level. Any knee length (ish) dress/skirt & evening top would be fine I'm sure, but if she wants a new dress for the occasion I'd suggest a cocktail style would be best.

Whynotnowbaby · 15/01/2020 21:11

Agree with cocktail dress if you want to be safe. Is it just formal hall (i.e. the formal supper they have every week or even more often) or a special dinner? Formal hall was often pretty informal at my college, we had it every night and for those of us who lived in as first years it was the only option for food if we had late tutorials so we didn’t tend to go to town. Special dinners would be much more formal, there would be a visiting dignitary /bigwig and we had to sign up for the limited spaces and turn up looking presentable and worthy of the event. This may vary college to college, mine was old and stuffy (Merton) and a distressingly long time ago now!

Binterested · 15/01/2020 21:13

Not sure if this is an event or just Sunday dinner in hall which is formal in the sense that sometimes you are required to wear your gown ( academic ) but not dress up iyswim.

Original poster
VivaLeBeaver · 15/01/2020 21:17

I think it’s just Sunday dinner, not a special occasion.

She’s remembered a smarter Ted Baker dress she got for a wedding last year so we think that may be ok. Knee length and smart. She doesn’t have a gown.

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StVincent · 15/01/2020 21:20

Sort of thing you’d wear to a wedding is perfect. Or any smartish clothes really. Smart top and trousers would do just as well.

goodbyestranger · 15/01/2020 21:20

She's a guest so obv she wouldn't wear a gown. One of my DD's was at Magdalen, there's no need for anything over the top at all.

FramingDevice · 15/01/2020 21:23

If it’s just formal hall, the undergraduates will be fairly casual with a gown thrown over the top to hide a multitude of ills! She’ll be absolutely fine in any kind of dress.

Original poster
VivaLeBeaver · 15/01/2020 21:32

Thanks everyone.

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HostessTrolley · 15/01/2020 21:37

Dd’s boyf is also at Oxford - not Magdalen. Saturday night formal dinner she wore a just above the knee length Lipsy dress she has, not low cut etc. She said it was at the right level, they got changed out of their ‘dressed up’ into jeans and jumpers to go to the college bar for drinks after

HostessTrolley · 15/01/2020 21:42

Btw, Dd also got ‘just bring a nice dress’ - boys are a bit useless lol. Had the exact same quandary with ‘that’s too prom-y, that’s too club-y’. Dd is also veggie and it was not a problem, she said the food was ‘ok and cheaper than eating out’.

TheoneandObi · 15/01/2020 22:01

Don't go too formal. Not as formal as a wedding (DS is a recent Cambridge grad and we got invited to a 'parents' formal'. Wear a dress you feel comfy in, and a cracking smile!

Original poster
VivaLeBeaver · 15/01/2020 22:06

This is Very similar to the dress she has....hers a lower neckline (but not too low).

What do you wear to a college dinner at Oxford
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Etcni · 15/01/2020 22:09

Yes, your dd's boyfriend should tell catering when he signs her up as a guest of her dietary needs because it's just one menu for everyone rather than ordering from different options so they won't be able to do anything on the night if they don't know in advance. Or at least that was how it was at my Oxford college (within the past five years). She doesn't need to wear a gown.

multivac · 15/01/2020 22:12

Smart clothes. Advise about dietary needs in advance. It's just dinner in a college hall - it's not Buckingham Palace, or Hogwarts.

FWIW, when I was at Magdalen I deliberately flouted all dress codes because I was a snotty chip-on-the-shoulder kid. No one cared, or even noticed. Why would they?

Original poster
VivaLeBeaver · 15/01/2020 22:12

Thanks, will definitely get him to prewarn about the diet requirements.

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multivac · 15/01/2020 22:15

Oh also, watch out for Magdalen boys. Some of them get prizes depending on what they bring for dinner...

Original poster
VivaLeBeaver · 15/01/2020 22:19

Oh also, watch out for Magdalen boys. Some of them get prizes depending on what they bring for dinner...

Oh dear, he said he wanted to bring her to dinner so everyone could meet her! 🙈

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multivac · 15/01/2020 22:20

I'm sure he's lovely Grin

Bezalelle · 15/01/2020 22:20

"What they bring"? Confused

Daisy62 · 15/01/2020 22:21

If just Sunday formal hall, anything other than jeans for a guest. Doesn't need to be very smart, defnitely not wedding smart. Jumper and trousers would be fine.