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Original poster

University life for freshers (2019/20) - Christmas backpacking (or not) and festive homecomings with all the tinseltastic trimmings!

986 replies

NewModelArmyMayhem18 · 11/12/2019 17:53

Previous thread.

Crown Smile
OP posts:
Original poster
NewModelArmyMayhem18 · 17/12/2019 08:54

DS's usual complaint is, "there's nothing to eat." What he means is that I don't have a house full of salty and sweet snacks just for the taking.

OP posts:
Whatagoodidea · 17/12/2019 09:32

That sounds so familiar. I did a 'big' shop last Friday for a Sunday arrival. I have been back for top ups daily. Now I have to do another 'big' shop as DS1 arriving Sunday to double to consumption rate. Then of course is the shop for Christmas lunchGrin

HoldMyLobster · 17/12/2019 15:49

DS's usual complaint is, "there's nothing to eat." What he means is that I don't have a house full of salty and sweet snacks just for the taking.

Me = your DS Grin

Benjispruce · 17/12/2019 16:35

Just popped in to see DD on the supermarket checkout in my way home from work. She’s still under the weather but was doing a great job. She’s signed up for lots of overtime but has uni work to do over the hols too. So proud of her working hard

Ginfordinner · 17/12/2019 18:37

DD cooked tea, and is currently doing some university work before we go out.

blametheparents · 17/12/2019 19:52

It’s so nice having DS home. I hadn’t realised how much I missed him!

Benjispruce · 17/12/2019 20:17

I’m going to be brutally honest. It’s nice to see DD and as I said earlier I’m proud that she’s got herself a job and working hard but she’s not the easiest at times and has already locked horns with us and DD2. No major personality change as yet! Am I alone or do all just slip back into happy families?

justasking111 · 17/12/2019 20:32

They do regress, my DS worked abroad for six years, lived in a shared house with other adults. When he came home his inner slob raised its head again.

So cross DS having to work till 20th was told at beginning of term that meant they had a free xmas. Now the lecturers have realised a big boo boo, they have between them given the students so much work that they will either have to return two weeks early or if they have computers at home work there. DS computer is at uni. so he is talking about going back in the new year.

Piggywaspushed · 17/12/2019 21:14

benji mine is still not lifting a finger even though he has had to at uni and is whining about being bored... hey ho. He is also sulking because we won't/can't sort out some sort of Virgin equivalent of Sky Go.

Ragwort · 17/12/2019 21:38

Benji - agree, I am disappointed if I am honest that DS just throws his clothes & wet towels on the floor, snaps if you ask him a single question, complains that there's nothing 'nice' to eat, refused to help me with a simple task today ...... and yet all my friends and neighbours describe him as 'charming' and 'polite' Hmm and how thrilled I must be to have him home ....

HoldMyLobster · 17/12/2019 21:48

Am I alone or do all just slip back into happy families?

The first longish holiday back is IME the worst. Everyone isn't quite sure how to treat each other. They fall back into old habits but bring in some new difficult dynamics too.

We had this when DD went to boarding school too. The first two long weekends back were excruciating!

Benjispruce · 17/12/2019 21:55

I really appreciate your honesty. Feel awful for having a moan but all I hear and not just on mumsnet, is how they and their DC are so happy to be home together again.DD is more prone to complain she misses uni and friends, it’s boring at home, why do we want to go to bed at 10.30 and why are my towels so rough! She and DD2 are quite different, DD1 is gregarious and DD2 is more private so clashing still. Thought they may have missed each other Hmm

Ginfordinner · 17/12/2019 22:58

Don't feel bad @Benjispruce. Loads of students find home life pretty tame and boring after the excitement of university. I think a lot of parents - especially those on the FB group are looking at their DC's return through rose tinted spectacles. And I might get flamed for saying this, perhaps they need to pull back a little from smothering their DC and understand that they are growing up.

Maybe because DD had a gap year I feel more accepting of DD's need to spread her wings (and our need for her to do so).

In other news DD is mightily pissed off that one of the skankiest students in her flat, who lives locally to the university, has gone back to the flat to hold a big party. So all the cleaning and washing up DD did will have been in vain. I expect some of her stuff will be missing as well.

Jano69 · 17/12/2019 23:51

@Benjispruce I was so tempted to make the first brave post but you beat me to it! After an idyllic initial 24 hour honeymoon period. DS has told me I'm irritating him. Without doubt, we're definitely slipping back into old ways. I'm frustrated he hasn't found a job and he's fed up he has no money. Hopefully we'll all settle into a new rhythm soon.

HoldMyLobster · 18/12/2019 00:37

DD flew from LA to Boston today, then she had to get from Boston up to Maine somehow through a snowstorm.

By chance DH is at Boston Logan tonight as he has a flight out early tomorrow, so he met DD off the plane, thinking he'd buy her dinner, help her work out how she'd get home, get her onto the bus, etc.

Within 10 minutes of her arrival he was bustling her onto the Maine bus as fast as he could. He then called me and said 'Whatever you do, don't try to talk to her. She's tired and grumpy and hungry. Just feed her and put her to bed for 24 hours.'

I can't wait!

Original poster
NewModelArmyMayhem18 · 18/12/2019 07:17

I'm frustrated he hasn't found a job and he's fed up he has no money. Hopefully we'll all settle into a new rhythm soon. Yes, I'm with you on those points @Jano69.

DS has been doing an essay since his return (why he didn't stay at uni to write it up I just don't know), so has been leaving all his washing up for me to do. Once it's out of the way I'm getting him on regular kitchen duties.

He seems to have fitted right back into his lazy pre-university ways.

OP posts:
Chillywhippet · 18/12/2019 07:23

DD pleased to be home but booked a hair colouring appointment for £80 which led to some raised eyebrows and tension as Id had to send her £60 emergency cash to get her through last 2 weeks of term Hmm

University life for freshers (2019/20) - Christmas backpacking (or not) and festive homecomings with all the tinseltastic trimmings!
Benjispruce · 18/12/2019 07:33

Oh the healing powers of mumsnet, I feel so much better. Just read some of these out to DH and they’ve raised a wry smile. It’s like the grownup(almost) equivalent of mums n tots Grin

Benjispruce · 18/12/2019 07:34

@Ginfordinner I’m not surprised your DD is furious, what cheeky git!

Jano69 · 18/12/2019 08:25

@NewModelArmyMayhem18 All sounds very familiar, reassuring it's not just my DS reverting to pre university life ways.

@Ginfordinner just reread your post - that's awful, your poor DD!!

simbobs · 18/12/2019 08:30

Both mine home Friday. DS confessed that he hasn't done any other laundry for ages so I think I will spend Xmas doing that. Worried about him. He hasn't been been at all well and has missed lectures as a consequence. Has fallen behind, sadly. Going to be a tense time at home, I fear.

Ginfordinner · 18/12/2019 09:07

Oh no simbobs. I hope some TLC at home will help. DD has already started rewriting lecture notes to recap what she didn't understand or what she has missed. She has CFS and often falls asleep during lectures.

Can he watch these lectures online and make notes to catch up?

Is it just me or are all those posts on the FB page about students coming home for Christmas becoming rather irritating? I get the impression that these parents are living their lives through their children. Their offspring are moving on. Isn't it time for the parents to accept this and move on as well?

MrKlaw · 18/12/2019 09:12

DS mostly just lounging around. Not sure I saw him move from his spot on the sofa after getting home from work last night to when I went to bed.

He does say he has some revising to do - didn't have any maths exams before christmas, they're in Jan. But no sign of it yet..

We went for a christmas lunch at the nearby Toby Carvery (pretty nice, never been before). DS said he'd already had a christmas lunch the weekend before he came home - they all cooked in his flat. Just cheap stuff from Iceland but that made me happy - shows they're settling in as a household a bit.

bigTillyMint · 18/12/2019 10:45

@Benjispruce we have had exactly that with DD on her return from uni many times, so sympathies. So far she has been ok this time, but it's only day 2Grin
Lots of wet towels, and asking if I have fabric conditioner - that would be a no as it triggered her excema as a toddler Grin
But she has washed her and DSs clothes they brought back - not much TBF!

They are so pleased to see each other and us, and the banter is great, but they take up so much space and I have had to get my earplugs back out because they keep such different hours....

strawberrieshortcake · 18/12/2019 11:28

@Ginfordinner sorry to hijack but my dd is being investigated for either cfs or lupus. I was wondering if your DC got help from their university after the diagnosis?