University life for freshers (2019/20) - Christmas backpacking (or not) and festive homecomings with all the tinseltastic trimmings!

[NewModelArmyMayhem18]

Previous thread.

We haven’t been to visit yet so will be our first since she went.

Hello, hope you don't mind me joining. I posted way back in one of the first threads. I'm looking for some advice on second year housing - DS has been looking at houses with friends and see one he likes. I've been talking to the landlady (private, not through an agent) via email. Everything seems ok, except i have no idea how I/my DS are supposed to pay the rent for July, August and September before his maintenance loan lands. He also needs to pay £525 deposit, which I was expecting and can find, but I've got no idea where I'm supposed to find three months rent? Surely there must be other people who don't have that sort of cash sitting around?

Summer job? Normal to pay over the summer I'm afraid.

We just went to visit yesterday. It's her birthday today, and she and dh have gone to London for a DofE presentation. It was lovely to see her, but it makes me realise how much I miss her. It's like I suppress it until I actually squeeze her, then I get all the emotions!

@VioletCharlotte The summer term loan is proportionally quite generous compared with the length of the term - possibly with the idea that it tides them over the summer to some extent. But your dc should definitely be getting a summer job to supplement the loan. Leases are almost always from the start of July

I’ve only been to see ds once since he started but he has been home on average once a month - it’s cheaper for him to come back than us all to go to him. I went to see my older dd at the weekend in Leeds but had to cut the visit short because of the weather - got up early yesterday to get the one direct train back south. Relatives who joined us from other places had their flights cancelled & have still not got home...

We visited once in the first term, as DH hadn't gone on drop off day and it was nice to combine his seeing her digs with taking her shopping to stock up her cupboards. We are going to visit on her birthday at the end of the month, to take her out for dinner on her birthday and to do something touristy on the Saturday.

Then we go back 2 weeks later to completely empty her room for the Easter hols.

She said it was 'a bit blowy' there this weekend.

We are going to see DS this week, I am tagging along with my DH who has a business appointment nearby, I work part time hours and can easily schedule my working week to get time off during the week (I genuinely like working Saturdays). DH has also met DS on another occasion when he was working in the area.
I am not sure if DS has plans to come home this term, he has a weekend nearby with one of his society interests but will probably be too busy to see us!

@decorhate his rent is split into three equal payments, so although the third term is shorter, the rent stays the same. His maintenance loan covers the rent with only a few pound left over. He'll have to look for a summer job to cover some of the cost.

We're visiting for the first time at half term. It's too far to go often, but she has had other visitors.

DD is 650 miles away. We took her up, and will be visiting again next week. Looking forward to it as she's in a lovely city, wants us to meet some friends.

Hers in one of the unis striking. One week is during a festival here, so she's hoping she can pick up some work to pay for transport back.

DD hoping they can get accommodation through uni, but if not private rentals start in June, so that's three months of paying without living there.

Oh great that we are nearly ready for another thread - did ask HQ to update the title but I was ignored, so looking forward to going with something a bit more seasonl!

We've not visited DS yet but he has been home. I think we will do when it's warmer though!

I think DD is feeling a bit stressed. It's her birthday soon and I texted her to ask if there was anything she wanted. She replied, "My life back!"

Oh dear. They have the usual lectures but also a few assignments on the go. She's lucky that she doesn't have to work (has pt job in hols back at home) or else she'd be feeling more stressed about managing her time than she is now.

On FB today sad story. The DD has given up her course and is coming home to rethink her life. It is not all that it is cracked up to be uni. life sometimes.

I think there is an expectation that university is going to be an amazing experience for everyone and it isn't always... I think it's very mature of young people to realise it's not for them and to give it up for a rethink. Still tough for them, particularly if they've been aiming for it basically all the way through secondary school.

"My life back!"
DD said sth like that this afternoon. She's preparing for two written exams on the 18th and 19th and has booked a study cubicle at the library together with some of her study group for Saturday and Sunday to round off her preparation.

I saw that post justasking111. I agree that young people feel the pressure to love university because so many posters on public forums say that their DC love university. I don't believe that they love every minute of it. Do they really love exams, deadline stress, friendship/relationship issues, the lack of sleep, worrying about money, flat sharing with skanky students or fellow flatmates they don't talk to? Really?

I know that DD likes where she is and has made some fabulous friends, but her time at university hasn't been entirely wobble free.

My heart goes out to the students and parents of those students who are unhappy.

I really do understanding about the reality of uni not living up to expectations as my DS did a lot of soul searching before deciding to stay. It was the course, the flat mates and being away from home, non of which were bad but just overwhelming. We had lots of discussions over xmas and he wanted to give it another go. Thankfully he is now really happy and settled and doing great. In fact he has 4 mates from home staying with him in Nottingham next weekend and is really excited about showing off NTU and taking them clubbing in the students union and actually cooking them Sunday brunch before they come back to London. I am so proud of him, he's nearly a grown up

DS1 really struggled in his 2nd term of 1st year it was the cold, the dark, the distance from home and the fact we couldn't get to see him (live overseas). He came out the other side with lots of supportive phone calls/messages/ email and food parcels. Now on year out in industry and loving it. DS2 is now in 1st year at uni so I was concerned but so far so good.

That sounds great minesawine. I'm glad your DS is doing well.

mine so pleased to hear your DS is more settled, we just spent a couple of days with our DS, I think he has been exceptionally fortunate in that he settled so well, he was very lucky to find flatmates he immediately gelled with and he is very involved in a couple of societies and sport which helps. It's very hard as parents as all you can do is hope that they have a good time and it really is a big change for so many youngsters at what is already not an easy time as 'young adults'.

Exams, exams, exams.

Poor DD seems to never be free from revising for exams. She had exams before Christmas, exams in January, she has exams next month and exams in May and June.

Does anyone else's DC have so many exams?

No. Dd has had one so far.

DS2 just sent details so I could book flight home. He said finishes 27th then back for revision week 20th April so it doesn't sound if there are any exams this term just in 3rd term

DD gets fewer assignments though. She only had one last term. I think probably science subjects are treated differently. She also has a lot of practical assessments.

Dd had two exams after Christmas and will just have one exam before the summer. It doesn't seem that much but she has a very heavy workload as standard I think, with a lot of progress tests along the way.