University life for freshers (2019/20) - Christmas backpacking (or not) and festive homecomings with all the tinseltastic trimmings!

[NewModelArmyMayhem18]

Previous thread.

How is your DD now @ZandathePanda ?
DD is still on the penicillin until Wednesday but feeling much better the last few days. She’s working her last day at the supermarket tomorrow and hoping to come out with £850 so it was well worth it for her, plus she’s enjoyed it when she wasn’t expecting to, more so than her previous job as a barista. I’ll miss her, after the initial frictions if settling back home, I’ve got used to her being around again but I am looking forward to less mess spilling out of her bedroom.

Benji Poorly Dd2 and I still in hospital. They see maybe 1 child every 2 or 3 years with what brain condition she has/had. She will be in for a couple of weeks and will take months to get better.
Dd1 is getting ready to go back next week fingers crossed. Uni have been pretty good I think. She’s really had to sort it by herself. She’s accepted she won’t do so well in exams which is a bit gutting for her but she realises the 1st year doesn’t count towards the final classification. She is still poorly but hasn’t got what Dd2 has.

I’m glad DD1 feels able to return. It takes a while to process big shocks and perhaps a bit of distance and distraction will help. Do they know what caused the infection yet? Was DD2 ill with a virus prior to the seizures or was it out of the blue? D

Benji Out of the blue. She had had a bit of post-cold cough. It was a very freak reaction to an unknown virus. Multiple brain inflammation areas. No warning signs and she started fitting alone in her bedroom early one morning.
This is what freaked Dd1 out because, at university, you haven’t got your mum to check up on you!

Maybe this will make Dd1 give us her at least a couple of flatmates phone numbers! I would never use them unless an emergency. Seriously, I think everyone on this forum should do the same. Tell your Dc about what happened to us if need be. This definitely is not backpacking it’s just common sense.

Hope all the ill ones are recovering.
Not looking forward to dd going tomorrow. She's a bit tearful too.
Can she stay at home and do distance learning?

I agree @ZandathePanda and I think I said this way back in September after my colleague’s DD had glandular fever and her friend phoned her mum as she was in her room so long . It’s a very scary thought. I wonder if it’s something unis should consider-a buddy system where you check on one other person each.

I took DS2 back to UEA yesterday, whilst in the car we get a message from DS1 saying, ‘don’t worry I’m safe and not at uni’
Bournemouth University was in lockdown, police everywhere and a helicopter overhead.
By the time I got home DS1 had sent me a message saying it was all a mistake and someone had thought they’d seen a terrorist, but it was actually a runner with a overvest.
The students are now finding it very funny and sending lots of jokes, but I’m sure it was a bit scary for those locked in at the time.
Sad that they have now both gone back to uni, the house is now very quiet (and tidy).

I'm impressed that your home is already very tidy again after the departure of your sons @Itscoldouthere.

Oh was it one of those overvests (with weights) that looks as if it could be full of bombs? I've read that people have been having issues with them. They clearly didn't think through the design implications, did they?

A terrifying way to start back at university :-(.

@NewModelArmyMayhem18 the house is only tidy because we are selling it and had another viewing yesterday, so the boys bedrooms were tidied as they left.
I think it must have been really scary for some students, of course all the rumours were flying around about someone being stabbed etc. so I’m sure tension was running high for some.
I’m definately going to take Zandas advice and get some phone numbers of the boys friends.
I hope your DD is improving @ZandathePanda, sending best wishes.

That's good advice Zanda re flatmates being able to contact fellow flatmate's parents. I hope your daughter continues to improve. Under the circumstances will she be able to retake this year at school? What a worrying time it as been for all of you. DD says that student support is pretty good at Newcastle.

I hope all the other poorly students recover soon. Alas, DD is very stressed about exams, and her allergies have gone into overdrive.

I think exchanging phone nos. is a good idea. I gave my phone number to the mother of one of DD's friends on the basis that she could let me know if any concerns were raised by her daughter. Over time DS's phone has run out of charge so many times that I have noted the numbers of various of his friends when he has borrowed their mobile to phone home - usually requesting lifts or money. It came in useful a few times when trying to track him down.
I'll be relieved when he goes back next week. I wasn't sure about him coming back post exams, and would like him to be immersing himself in his course rather than partying with his friends here.

DD is back. I was getting worried, as she was about an hour later than I expected, and I hadn't heard from her in a good few hours at that point. I just hope for a good term and she can really settle down.

I'm not sure about swapping numbers. I mean, I can see from my point of view it could be helpful. And I wouldn't misuse the number if I got it. I'd save it for real emergencies.
But say your dc gives their number to someone who's got a parent who fusses or decides your dc can "look after" their dc. I can think of a couple of parents I know who could easily be phoning to say things like "can you make sure he's done his washing" or "he forgot to buy milk, go and get him some" type things, which could end up being very stressful. Or phone calls at 4am when they have a 9am lecture saying "can you check he's home"...

I haven't got any contacts for DD at uni (now 3rd year) but as her housemates and other mates are all on fb and I have met them, I reckon I would DM them if I was worried and couldn't get any response from her.
No contacts for DS either, but might be able to find them on fb too?!

@simbobs, my DS finally goes back on Wed - he will have to tear himself away from new gf and partying with friends here.... hope he can get into some sort of routine with studying And he has mentioned coming back to see gf - he hasn't even gone yet!!!

I would use FB if I felt the need as well.

Well, I’ve waved DD off. Really hard separating again (for me) after getting used to having her around. I hope next time she’s home she’ll settle quicker now she knows what to expect. She jokingly said goodbye to the fridge! I’ve already stripped her bed and it’s so nice to see the floor again!

Yes, @bigTillyMint, it's tricky when they get their first serious gf. Mine spends far too much time with his, imho. I just hope he can settle back into uni life.

I don't envisage ever using the phone number I have for DD's friend's Mum unless for absolute emergency @witchend, and would not be cooperative if someone called me and fussed in the way you described. I only wanted it as I had concerns about my DD's mh at the time.

@simbobs I do see that passing phone numbers is reassuring for me, and in the case of health issues is sensible.
In a lot of ways mobiles do make quick checks harder. When I was at college there was always a payphone around. Parents would phone in and it would normally be answered, and generally the person would go and bang on the door or leave a message on the door, and people would say "go and phone your dm, she's phoned 3 times this evening" 😂. I know one time I answered the phone to a worried parent, I was able to tell them their dc was fine as I'd seen them less than an hour ago.

But I can see some parents using it as fussing by proxi. My dm on dbro would have I suspect. She might well have explained to them how they couldn't expect him to do menial work like cleaning the kitchen as he had an important degree to do, don't you know? And asking them to fetch him some milk because he's so tired because he works so hard. 😁

I suppose also in my mind is just had a conversation with my 12yo about not giving personal details like phone numbers out, even to friends of friends. There's certainly some people I get on very well with with whom I'd be uncomfortable (having met them) giving contact details to their parents.
Yes they're older than 12yo, so it isn't quite the same. I may be coming at it from a having a younger child's vision.

I suppose it could work both ways. "can you tell your dc that it's their washing up clogging the sink for the last three days" "Can you tell him if he's so drunk that he can't get up the stairs again, then not to lean on the buzzer" 🤣🤣🤣

@simbobs, this is not his first serious gf - That was Y12 and 13. She was at uni in Y13, this one has a good job back here - he seems doomed to long distance relationships

Fully catered mums, do your DC make the most of all food/meals included? DS very rarely makes it to breakfast bit spent a got one on UberEats and takeaways late nights last term

Definitely wouldn't do the phone thing. I think dd has some sort fo system in her flat where they look out for each other.

DH drove DS all the way back to Durham yesterday. He's still very tired after the GF so we wanted to make his return journey as smooth as possible.

They stopped off at a big Tesco's on the way and got him a load of shopping to ease him into his first week. Lovely hubby helped him unpack and made his bed up.

DS pleased to be back but is determined to get fully better which means less drinking, more healthy eating and more sleep! I've told him to make sure the college/faculty staff are aware he's had GF.

Zanda, good advice re contacts and numbers. Your family's experience has been a traumatic one so really hoping you're now seeing light at the end of the tunnel.

Bengalcat - how lovely to spend Christmas in the alps. Did you see our winter college ball video on YouTube?

Benjispruce - so pleased you're DD's on the mend and the penicillin worked it's magic.

I had a big clean yesterday and stripped DS's bed and even washed his duvet. Wanted to wash those bugs away!!

@bigTillyMint DD eats most meals but misses breakfast in the week sometimes so she’s gone back up with some porridge sachets. She’s better at weekends breakfast as they do brunch. She says you can get lunch down at the science site so you don’t have to go back up to college and apparently it’s better food.

@Jano69 so pleased he was well enough to return this weekend. DH is driving DD back as we speak. She’s much better thanks but like you, wanted to help her as she was taking more stuff back this time (Christmas presents etc) and still on penicillin until Wed am. I’ve given her new toothbrushes without bugs

@Jano69, glad your DS is well enough to go back, and lovely of your DH to take him.

@Benjispruce, lovely of your DH too!
I could suggest those porridge pots, though get need at least 4 to make anything like a meal He is a bit frustrated that there are no cooking facilities at all as he has been cheffing up decent cheap healthy one pot meals for himself here. But he does say the food there is decent.

Well it’s better value to buy a big bag of oats and just as easy to microwave but DD loves a gimmick. They have a microwave and fridge don’t they, maybe see if you can find a microwave cookbook