University life for freshers (2019/20) - Christmas backpacking (or not) and festive homecomings with all the tinseltastic trimmings!

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Previous thread.

I'm missing her. I don't class myself as an empty nester though as dd2 is still at home

I like our empty nest! I work full-time in quite a demanding job with smallish children, so it is great coming home to a calm, tidyish house at the end of the day

However, DD is still here till Wed, and I'm not sure when DS is going back

We first realised dd might have glandular fever when we saw a photo of her where we realised her face was so puffy she looked like she'd put on 5 stone! For some reason it hadn't been so noticeable in RL. The next day her eyes swelled up hugely and every gland in her body was swollen.

She had tiredness and a slight sore throat but the puffiness was the first symptom. She then developed a sore throat like no other, literally all she could do for a few days was lie over the bed drooling. She was given antibiotics but ones you can take with GF and they really helped.

That sounds awful @Trewser. Hope she is on the mend now. I never had this as a student, and those that did tended to get it properly once they were at home so I never saw it.
I had been completely fine with my empty nest; it's calm and predictable, but I realised this hol how much time DD (not my "fresher") has been away this academic year due to the commitments of her course, and enjoyed seeing her. DS, on the other hand, will be back on Weds for another 10 days, so back to some degree of chaos. He was out with friends so much at Christmas, and stayed more with gf than with us, so I expect him to make it up to me.

Thanks for sharing that @Trewser - I guess this was some time ago?

When DS returns to Durham, I won't be an empty nester as I have 16yo DD at home. Also have a busy job and elderly parents who need a lot of support so no chance of any free time to look forward to!

Yes in her first year of A levels. She was ill for 2 months and ended up restarting A levels the following September. At uni now happy healthy (fingers crossed) and doing well!

Hello all👋 And happy new yr!

Sorry to hear about all the sicknesses etc and wish everyone a speedy recovery. DS fell ill mid last term and I went down to Cardiff to see him. He was much surprised but I did my mummy thing and he recovered swiftly. Now gone back to start the new term and the house feels a bit empty. It was lovely having him at home BUT he had lost quite a bit of weight which I’m very worried about.
If anyone has any ideas on what can be done do to put weight on for someone who doesn’t mind missing meals all the time/too lazy to cook/can’t be bothered to get out of bed to the shops, I’d love to hear.

Does he not get hungry Shimy?

Yay, DS has booked his ticket for next Wed

@Shimy, has he always been like this?
Would he drink stuff like Nurishment?

Protein enriched milkshakes/smoothies @Shimy?

Replies already, thanks all.

It started with him missing meals because of gaming, even though he’d be hungry because if you bring the food to him, he’ll eat it .
But then I think his stomach kind of adjusted to his not eating. He eats the equivalent of one meal a day and doesn’t snack.

Because of that, we made sure he had Accomodation with semi catering, but he’s told me he doesn’t eat the food because it’s awful. He just doesn’t bother and now is quite happy with eating once a day. But I was shocked when I saw him in a towel, he legs looked like the legs of an 8yr old not an 18yr old man . DH thinks I’m OTT with it all but I got him to measure his bmi as DS doesn’t like me fussing about his eating. Bmi is under 20. I know the minimum is 18 but under 20 is terribly low isn’t it?

My DS can lose weight if eating only 3 meals a day as he is skinny and has a fast metabolism. There is really no alternative but to consume plenty of calories. You may need to find a repertoire of calorie dense foods which are easy to prepare and which he enjoys. Obviously you know him best so would be best placed to work out what. Could you perhaps batch cook a few things to get him started? Not all youngsters have culinary skills and they can go downhill pretty fast when they don't eat.

@Shimy I can see why you're worried. Perhaps you need to stress the importance of eating well and why not eating properly isn't a good idea. I guess maybe he needs high cal/high protein easy to eat foods (nuts are good for both although not to excess). Ready-made meals better than not eating. Maybe sit down and go through with him what three square meals a day looks like. Presumably a young man needs over 2000 cals a day just to maintain his weight? Maybe take him shopping to show him what that looks like in easy to cook/prepare meals.

I can't recall how far away you are from where your DS is at university. Is it possible to go up half way through the term to check up on him, take some frozen home-cooked meals and make sure he's not lost more weight in the interim?

DS hasn't been eating loads (again down to laziness) but hasn't lost much weight, I suspect down to drinking Monster regularly.

If he’s not in the underweight category I wouldn’t worry. I think we’ve got so used to seeing larger than healthy sizes, people often think thin people are too thin when they are still a healthy weight. My DH is naturally slim. He has a good appetite but can go all day without eating if he’s busy. I think his BMI is 22 but was lower when younger.

Does he like cheese and peanut butter? Both easy to eat as a sandwich or on toast.

Have a look at Huel uk.huel.com @Shimy

Took DD back today. Her friends welcomed her back with open arms. One of them even messaged her last night to say that she was excited to see DD again. I'm so glad that she has made such lovely friends. It makes it so easy for me to take her back when I know she is happy to go.

I just wish she had more friends like this locally.

DD loves her food. She is also an excellent cook and doesn't function well if she misses a meal.

Simbobs - He can actually cook, simple meals and bakes a wicked sponge cake. He makes chips, fish, rice, curry etc. But just can’t be bothered with it all.

New - we’ve sat him down and stressed the importance of eating well and regularly but I really don’t think he gets just how important it is. He hates nuts, won’t eat anything that contains nuts.
We’re about 3hrs drive away (M25 boundaries), but I think you’re idea is a good one. I will go up there and do a shopping day with him, hopefully he’ll oblige. Last time I visited I took some home prepared frozen meals for himto put in the freezer. He then forgot about them. He did eat them in the end but took him about 4weeks.

Benji - Problem is he is too close to the minimum. I don’t want to wait till his underweight, then we might have to bring him home.

Juicy - God bless you! that link looks amazing. I pray DS likes the taste, this could be it .

Hello I haven’t been on here for a while. Dd2 has been very seriously ill in hospital with an infection and poor Dd1 (who is still ill herself) hasn’t gone back to university. She had to witness some nasty stuff. I am worried about her as she, like us, never wants to leave Dd2s side again. She is trying to sort out essay extensions and exams and it’s all a bit too much. As of today Dd2 is on the mend and should be out in a few weeks.

I feel bad I can’t be supporting Dd1 but I have been in hospital. Honestly the last few years in our family are like some bad soap opera. I can’t believe Dd1 got the A Level results she did.

So sorry to hear about your DDs Zanda. I hope they both make a full recovery

Terribly sorry to hear about your DD Illness and the impact on DD1. I hope she makes a full recovery so DD1 can also be confident enough to return to her studies. Hold on in there and be kind to yourself where possible. Are there any other family members there to support you either at home or with hospital visits?

@ZandathePanda so sorry to hear about your girls both being ill and particularly DD2 being really poorly. I can totally understand why DD1 hasn't gone back to university. Maybe she needs to give herself some breathing space - talk to her tutor and student welfare so that she gets some extra support.

[Flowers] and hoping your DD2 is home with you soon.

@ZandathePanda - What a terrible time you’re having . I hope DD2 is better soon - it seems like she’s still in hospital at the moment? And good luck to DD1 sorting out university stuff and getting better herself. Best wishes xx