Heading towards year 3 exams (uni 2017)

[Xenia]

Continuation of www.mumsnet.com/Talk/higher_education/3538808-heading-towards-year-2-exams-uni-2017 as we have reached page 40.

Hard to believe they are all in year 3 now and many will finish university in June 2020.

I am amazed you can live at home with parents at age 21 and get free money from the state even if your parents are millionaires

I am even more amazed that any student from a comfortable background, or their parent/s would contemplate taking it, given the current situation. I would be appalled if my DC applied for JSA for a short term cash injection and wouldn't mince my words. It's for those who are seriously on their uppers.

@Needmoresleep. He has one fairly large holdall there which wasn't big enough when he came back last summer - and he left a lot of stuff behind then too. He said he could manage and then at the last minute, after he'd packed he asked if we'd collect him (which we'd previously offered but he'd declined) He could buy another bag/case but the logistics of getting on and off multiple trains single handedly with those plus his laptop and then negotiating the footbridge (steps only) at our local station would be a challenge.

He has worked in the same place for the last 2 summers and they are still looking for staff so I think he would walk into a job there (food industry). Plus if he is living at home he will live FOC so can save more to fund his Masters year.

@Xenia. His Uni issued an email just after lockdown stating that students had to stay put. It included a letter from the Universities minister with those instructions. I also saw it on the Uni Facebook page. Not sure why all other Unis didn't follow those Government issued instructions but his did, so we complied. But now house moves are allowed I'm taking that to mean he can move. Haven't seen him (in the flesh) since January 7th so will be nice to have him back.

I agree that it seems ridiculous that the sons and daughters of the well-healed can claim benefits but I think the fact that unemployed post- uni ex students can claim benefits is as a result of them being counted just the same as any other independent adult who is expected to work for their living and pay their way in rent and bills.There really isn't a way of the government distinguishing between those with generous families and those without.

Many ex-students are lucky that their families are willing to take them back into the family home without even charging them rent but many many others don't have families that will do this (or can afford to). Some ex students living back home are expected to pay for their own food, rent etc despite having mummy or daddy's mansion roof over their heads. It amazes me how many threads I've seen on MN with parents being advised not to support young adult dcs after uni, or to charge them the equivalent rent they'd pay for a flat plus bills if they ask to come home because they're adult and they should be taught to stand on their own feet etc, plus lots of comments about apron strings and cocklodgers when it's a ds rather than a dd coming back.

The same issues of unfairness crop up with some wealthy families topping up their child's student loan and others refusing to do so. I guess it's almost impossible for the government to measure how much support a young adult gets from their family.

Bigbluebus I'd be tempted to collect your ds by car. As Xenia says, the rules now say we are allowed to move house and personally I'd count a 4 month move home as long enough to be a house move rather than visiting family. Plus, car travel is safer for everyone than taking public transport so your ds coming home by train seems the worst option.

Student end of tenancy dates are rapidly approaching so most students wont have the choice that your ds has of staying put. There has to be some common sense on this one!

. I would be appalled if my DC applied for JSA for a short term cash injection and wouldn't mince my words.

I wouldn't, I am paid only just over minimum wage so if my student comes home then they have to contribute financially. If the government paid me a living wage then it'd be different of course.

pickledbunions in fact my own view isn't influenced by my financial situation, but if you note I did write the caveat 'from a comfortable background'.

yes.

@bigbluebus we will be going to collect DS at some point before his tenancy ends, unless he decides to do a Masters at his uni and moves into halls.

As for signing on - we support him whilst he's a student, so he won't be applying for any benefits.
If he decides not to do a Masters then he will be expected to find work.

£59 a week UC is about £3k a year, more than the extra £750 a year extra council tax I will have to pay if the one of my sons who won't be a student in September would cost me.

We checked his end of tenancy date - 27 June.

Anyway for those wanting to get home if not been home for 4 months I am sure that counts as moving house. Mine did not find any police road blocks across motorway roads by the way and did not stop once on the journey so had no problems.

Fines are however about to go up a lot for breach of lockdown so might be worth carrying in your bag s I do a copy of the coronavirus legislation to show (politely) to police.

DS has submitted his dissertation. 😃 Just the last exam, next week then all done!

Where has the time gone?

Well done young Horsemad. FoalMad? I bet that feels good.

DS's cohort have been doing online lectures and have just received an email about unprofessional states of dress or undress on the video calls! DS has been doing his lectures mainly from bed stark bollock naked but he assures me he's not turning the camera on ever!

Hahaha, Haffdonga, that made me laugh about professional states of undress and the cat shot off my knee with a disgusted look! 😆😆😆

Still giggling now! 😉

Does that mean the end of Higher Education for you or do you still have younger children, Horsemad? It's a bit like looking forward to that final payment of the mortgage.
My DH has been working from home for 10 weeks and it was only last week that I persuaded him to wear polo shirts instead of "proper" shirts to make the ironing easier. He says he needs to feel dressed for work meetings even though he very rarely uses the camera.

He's my youngest @latedecember63. 🙂 I really hope he does a Masters, I just think it's a good time to do it, before all the other 'life stuff' gets in the way. DH did his when we had 2 under 2 and he was working f/t - it nearly killed me!!! 😆 So my advice is always, get it done before you have jobs/mortgages/kids in the mix.

Yeah, mortgage is already paid and by next year, no student either - we'll be loaded, haha!
Unfortunately, if Coronavirus is still causing problems we'll not be able to do our travelling but hey ho, we'll see what happens.

I am looking forward to end of an era in due course too - began paying for full time childcare for baby no. 1 in 1984 which took 50% of each of our net full time salaries in the first year (although salaries then did rise......). At least one of the twins will be funded by me at law school for the next two years unless he finds a law firm to pay (which his sister did just after she started the same course). So I probably have another 2 - 3 years of supporting at least one. Another daughter is moving back here for a short while until her tenants leave in early August which seems to be a CV19 okay move and we are all being very careful. So I might have an extra adult child although the twins still plan to go back to Bristol for a little bit before tenancies end once the dissertation and essays and exams are over.

It is only a few months since my other daughter completed her house purchase and after 3 years furniture left my garage and now daughter 2 is going to move a lot of furniture into nice empty garage until August. I don't mind. it is better there than in expensive storage units. It has become a bit of a joke - every time I clear it out and send them a picture of the empty garage one of the 5 has some big house move that requires filling my garage again.....

That image of your garage made me smile, @Xenia. Our garage is full too but it's all DH's junk - I live in hope he will grasp the nettle and clear it one day... 🤨

My MiL's garage is used by DH's brother as extra storage, including a motorbike my SiL didn't know about for several months!

We did wonder if DS1 and his gf might need to move in with us this summer if their house build wasn't finished but the builders are back on site.
DH has got used to it being just the 2 of us and he was quietly dreading our peace being shattered, especially as DS2 will be heading back and we don't know if he will be able to return to Birmingham in September.

Yes, last year I was sad when DS1 left home and it was just us but now I quite like it! 😆😆😆

I love it when they visit but am relieved when they've gone... Bad Mother!!

Horsemad, I have been waiting since 1984 for none of them to be at home....although my 85 year old neighbour always says I will miss them all once they are totally gone.

As we are outer London suburbs there is a bit more space so there is a double garage attached to the kitchen and then a stand alone separate one near a second driveway which is the one in theory just for my mower, garden stuff etc but it is has certainly been well used. After my parents died my daughter wanted a lot of their stuff from the house (very wise) but the huge sofa from there which was quite new ended up not fitting in any of the 3 old children's places and I took it to the dump eventually one day when my older son and I had hired a massive van to do his move (he is fully moved out). The girls' riding stuff, saddles etc is in there but not an issue as on very high shelves out of the way.

Then earlier this winter I cleared everything form the boarded loft of the house which was a relief as there is hardly any head room and no one could see what was up there easily - that was about 60 boxes of daughters' stuff - now easy to see and read in the garage so they can sort it out. One silver lining in one daughter coming back is she says whilst here she will sort her 10 boxes out and also take everything with her when she moves back into her own flat in August.

I hope I get to that stage Horsemad but with ds1 well and truly flown from the nest and ds2 half in half out I must admit I find myself counting down the days until they visit home.

I've been so glad that ds2 has been home during lockdown. Dh has been working incredibly hard, long hours on Covid related stuff and I hardly see him except emerging briefly from his study for coffee so ds 2 has been my main entertainment. We've had a lot of proper adult chats and it's been a joy - plus games of kitchen tennis (ping pong ball and badminton racket - points for a ball in the kitchen sink). Of course ds2 is desperate to get back to friends and life but he's been my joy in all this.

Aah Haffdonga, that sounds lovely. 🙂 I am desperate to see mine and could technically drive to see DS2 (doable in a day) but it would upset me not to be able to hug him, so I'm going to wait until he vacates his house and see where things are at then.
Hopefully at that point, we can ALL hug our 'out of household' family. 🤞

DD and her BF are coming here next week for the foreseeable. We've excavated the box room to turn it back into a usable bedroom/study. DH made extra shelves for the large landing cupboard which used to house a massive thermal store which has been half empty since we got a combi boiler, to rehouse most of the stuff. It turns out that saving odd pieces of wood and boards over the years was wise after all.

That sounds lovely Errol. Do you know the bf well? I guess it's quite a big deal coming to stay with gf's family! (And are you being a tad optimistic that he'll be using the box room as a bedroom? )

The twins keeping find things I threw away as not used for 20 years we suddenly then need. I do try not to throw useful things away but it's hard to get the right balance. Wheelbarrow - had to buy a new one when we got a lot of compost delivered recently as I had got rid of 2 rusty old ones a few years ago.

The box room changes sound good. My daughter just wants a bed chair and table removed from a spare room and she will be in there for a while. She thinks its better than her (bigger) old bed room right next to one of the twins and that's probably right as the twins are quite nocturnal.

Good chat with the gap year twin today - he is going to talk to his 2 travel abroad friends when back in Bristol about the gap year as he genuinely doesn't think travel is going to be very easy - the thought of social distancing in back packer hostels, or hostels closing, a country locked down in second wave in Dec etc yet his friends don't seem to be thinking about that but he does not want to let them down. I hope he can persuade them - on the other hand he's right if they don't do it now they won't ever and were there no CV19 they could have had a great time travelling.

We've never met the BF, but they've been together well over a year and DD has been at his home since they were kicked out of their colleges a couple of days before lockdown. The box room is so he has a space to call his own as we have no idea if he's coming for a couple of months or the rest of the year or what! DD thinks she may be the one using it as a study... I expect more furniture shifting after they arrive. Fortunately she has 2 (small) desks.

We have one more year of having three in university (if DD gets on her masters course) then all three should finish July 2020 and we will have untold ritches to spend on ourselves :)
Or , more realistically - if we are not paying three lots of rent we might be able to clear our own mortgage.
We have the three DCs at home and we are all getting on fine.the key is setting up individual work spaces , and encouraging headphone use .
Can’t wait for the tip to reopen , we have done so much clearing out!