Sharing a room at university

[olympicfan]

What have DC's experience been? Has it been positive or was it a nightmare?

I shared years ago, but I already knew my room mate. I wondered about more recent experiences rather than 30 years back!

Why do you need to know? It all deities in who you share with doesn’t it. Lots of universities have no shared rooms but a few do. If you find you are sharing with a complete opposite it’s clearly a problem.

If your DC is looking at universities for the future, there is no need to look at shared rooms at all. What you experienced isn’t the norm now. In fact it’s pretty rare!

It all depends etc

My DD is at university in the States, so sharing was a given for first year. However, they know where they are going to from March, so DD was able to chat to various people on the relevant website, and chose to share with someone who was also a veggie. They had no cooking facilities whatsoever, but as good a reason as any I suppose! She got on well with her roommate, and went to her family for Thanksgiving. For second year, she was still in uni accommodation, but chose to room share with a different girl. For third year, they moved into a private let but still chose to roomshare with the same girl, as it meant the flat was cheaper. For fourth year, she is sharing a private let with one other person, and ecstatic to have her own room!!
Her university also offer what they call "forced triples," where they put a third bed into a room for two but with no extra space. I gather these are extremely popular, as they are cheaper.

I'd hate the idea myself, but my friend's dd shared in her first year, with someone she'd never met until she moved in, and they remain great friends several years later.
I think sharing a room for a year, as an adult, even if it were your dearest friend, would be pretty restrictive. To do it with a stranger would potentially be incredibly difficult IMO.

I said a few have shared rooms! The few includes Durham but mostly DC don’t want to share. DC worry about who they will share with! It’s an added pressure.

DD chose to share to save lots of money (£3,000 in her halls) and for company (she boarded for two years, had lots of friends, but felt a bit cut off at times).

Immediately it gave her someone for company and to chat to, so that helped her settle in a lot quicker than others. She liked the other girl she shared with, but there was a problem with the room and her roommate was homesick which resulted in her roommate moving to halls where girls from her previous school where.

DD started sharing with another girl three weeks ago, gets on really well with her and the girl seems happy to accept DD's large group of visitors and join in with them. DD phones about once a week and she'd rather talk to us in private in the pantry, but that's the only issue.

I would add that 3/5 unis DD applied to had shared rooms. Paperwork at Edinburgh stipulated to allow 6/8 weeks before applying for a move, but DD's first roommate got offered a different room within a couple of weeks so moves can be made. DD still wanted to share and it took uni approx 10 days to find a roommate for her.

I must say I find the accommodation arrangements at Durham very strange (and am incredibly relieved that I’ve never had to experience them myself). It all seems dreadfully school-ish. Can’t imagine university life without the privacy and peace of one’s own room.

My DD house shares in Dublin, 5 girls in a 4 bedroom house; it is very expensive. They take turns to share, one term at a time. Its a nice big room and the girl DD shares with is away most weekends so she honestly doesn't mind her turn (pays slightly less rent then too).

In DD's case this was from second year, so she knew the girls well already. DD is pretty introverted and likes her space so this has surprised me but it's working out fine.

When I went, so, yes thirty-cough years ago, one room on every corridor of 6 singles was a double. It never seemed to work out! Even fairly similar, easy-going people hated it after a few weeks. I'd avoid it like the plague.

I did it twenty years ago. It was horrendous, I needed my own space so badly.

DD actually shared at Bristol. However it was a very odd arrangement. There were two rooms that were linked. The other girl had to go through DD's room to get to hers. As DD was insurance she just had to put up with it as it was a mircale she hall accommodation at all.

As a boarder at school it did not really bother her but the other girl kept very odd hours and was skyping all night, which DD could hear. DD functions well on not a lot of sleep but for others it woud have been a nightmare. The other girl was Chinese and was studying vet science.

Yes, it was cheap, but obviously a private room woud have been better. It is a risk when you do not know who you will share with. In the second year, sharing is not usual but at least you know who you are sharing with and have made the choice yourself after knowing the person for a year!

A lot of Oxford - and, I assume, Cambridge - colleges have 'shared sets' with a large shared room with the desks, wardrobes and bookcases in and very small cupboard-like separate bedrooms, with mostly just a bed and a sink. These tend to be the oldest rooms in the main quads, and often have lovely features with big windows, window seats, etc. I was in one in my first year, many years ago. I really did not get on with my room mate, as was the case for pretty much everyone else I knew (even people who might have got on in other circumstances). Because they had more space than other rooms there were often conflicts about friends meeting up there and disturbing the roommate.

My son has just started at another Oxford college and they got no choice about rooms, all of which cost the same. Luckily, he got his own room. It is much smaller and less architecturally interesting, but he gets blessed peace!

I did an exchange year in the US, where I shared a room. My roommate was the complete opposite of me (very loud, evening person, whereas I'm a morning person, pretty quiet, etc.). Luckily, I had a nice group of friends, part-time job & hobbies, so that I was out of my room most of the day. It improved even further when i got a boyfriend part way through the year and could send a couple nights/week at his flat as well. Although my roommate was definitely closer to 'roommate from hell' than 'best friend forever', it's one of those things I look back on and laugh about. And I appreciated my single room the following year so much more!

I must say I find the accommodation arrangements at Durham very strange (and am incredibly relieved that I’ve never had to experience them myself). It all seems dreadfully school-ish. Can’t imagine university life without the privacy and peace of one’s own room.

Durham has very varied accommodation. Dd's college is 6 rooms (all with en suit) around a shared kitchen, with good sized living space. It's suiting dd as she can meet others in the kitchen, but retreat to her own space.

lot of Oxford - and, I assume, Cambridge - colleges have 'shared sets' my college had one shared set and it was very highly contested. There was a row in my year with the people who thought they'd get it being outbid at the last minute.

I was at Nottingham a generation ago and had a shared room-I remember being horrified at the thought! Years later we're still friends, and chose to share a house in the second and third years. It's not that odd-I'd be more concerned about the standard of accommodation than about a dc sharing.

Edinburgh definitely have shared rooms!

I did HCP college 30 years ago, shared room (though huge!). My flat mate turned out to have MH difficulties and left half way through Y1, so I had the room to myself for the rest of the year. In my Y2, a Y1 whom I'd become friends with, moved in.

It was great, we had a lovely time and are still friends.

I shared in one of my private let houses in Bath. It was fine. We had a 4-bed house for 5 of us, so I think we did something like a term each of sharing.

DD shared at boarding school for 4 years and was perfectly happy with it. She had a year in a triple, two years in a double, then in her final year she chose to go back into a triple. She's still really close with her old room mates.

Oddly she's now at a US college but in a single. Her hall of residence is very new and I think they're starting to build more single rooms now. Americans seem quite happy to live in doubles, partly to save money and partly to make friends - they do seem to put them into pairs quite carefully.

Have NC. My DD is in first year and going through a really tough time currently. Room sharing with someone who thinks it appropriate to take random hookups back in the early hours. Not just to their flat but to a shared room. Generally inconsiderate and very messy in a small space but that pales into insignificance. No attempt at matching. Zero support from the Uni. Apparently no vacant rooms to move to. Just about to get involved as they are not listening to her well founded fears.

Seriously, it is not worth the risk. If your child has a choice I would absolutely not recommend sharing. I think PP are looking back with rose tinted glasses to a far different time.

I was at uni 20 years ago but must have missed that this happened as noone I knew did! I would hate for my daughters to have to wrorry about sharing a room with a student having sex where they couldn't escape 😳

Room that sounds horrendous. People will be starting to move on & drop out, so your DD needs to be extremely persistent to get to the top of the list. I was in a similar scenario many years ago. We barricaded the room down the middle with wardrobes within days & luckily I had the end of the room nearest the door. I was eventually moved to another hall, but it was 6 weeks of hell. I know now how helpless my parents felt knowing how unhappy I was.

We decided a while back that we would pay anything possible if it meant that DD was guaranteed her own space. She has some health issues which would make sharing intolerable.

We are looking at unis now and there are far more shared rooms than I imagined. And they seem easier to avoid in some places than others. One told DD that she was likely to be sharing if they were her insurance choice. She is extremely introverted and I think would struggle massively with it.

DD and I stayed in a twin room at Bath when we went to open day. It was brand new and ridiculously small for two people to live in. I think the growth in student numbers has forced unis into wedging too many students into too small a space.

My DS quit uni after 10 weeks, sharing a room was one of his main reasons. He hated it, but a single dorm was way too expensive.