UEA freshers (2019 starters) part 2

[NewModelArmyMayhem18]

Previous thread and hope you don't mind that I set up the next thread @juicy0. Just did it to ensure that we carry on chatting seamlessly

I do understand where you're coming from @juicy0. We hardly hear from DS unless he wants to discuss football results. It feels as if the apron strings have been well and truly cut. . I guess it's the cross to bear of being a parent, isn't it?

@icanbewhatiwant yes I think there is a week off timetable, half term week, and DD might come home for a few days then which will be lovely.
@NewModelArmyMayhem18 I think you're right! I'll be fine tomorrow I'm sure, it's just harder to get used to than I imagined it would be. I guess I didn't really give how I would feel too much thought, I was too busy trying to help her get organised and prepared so that it was an easy transition for her. Thank you both for your support.

DS2 has reading week which coincides with our half term - if you look at their timetable there won’t be any lectures scheduled

I didn’t know there was a half term week, so now I’m feeling guilty, myself and DH are in Canada so DS will have no one to go home to, I don’t even know how he’d get there on his own if he wanted to go home. I suppose he’s going to have to just stay at UEA for the week.
I’m missing the dog more than the boys, (which is awful but true) DS at Bournemouth is very chatty so calls me quite often but UEA son is a bugger to get hold of, usually doesn’t answer when I call, we just about manage to speak every couple of weeks, I do wish he made it easier as I worry about him more.
I’m more than happy that they are doing their own thing, but I do feel rather redundant

My DS in year 1 is not so easy to get hold of unless he wants something either. I'm taking it as a sign that he is very happy and busy.
When DS1 went to UEA 4 years ago it felt like a mini bereavement and took me by surprise a bit. However I am glad to report that you do get over it and I barely thought twice when DS2 went off to join him. Give yourselves time.
Juicy0 - do you have WhatsApp? Both my DS's seem to find this easier and are more likely to send me a quick photo, usually to show off cooking skills.

itscoldouthere, don't worry about reading week, many courses don't have one and many others don't bother to go home either. Your DS won't be by himself

@Itscoldouthere it's called 'do something different' week and there are loads of events, trips and activities going on so I think lots will stay on campus

@sluj yes we do have WhatsApp too but don't use it much. Thank you for the reassurance that it gets easier x

It does get a lot easier, honest.

In other news DS has realised that downloading the John Lewis app gives you access to a free hot drink and cake every couple of months. You should see the size of the cake he got today in Norwich JL
I can't understand how he didn't realise that's why DH and I go to John Lewis so often 😁

@juicy0 @sluj
Thank you for that, you’ve put my mind at rest. It’s so weird being in Canada trying to sort out a life the boys won’t have a main part in and selling the family home at the same time, I’m feeling rather conflicted about it all!
Anyway, sounds like it will be more fun at UEA than being at home, so that’s great news.... if only he’d answer my WhatsApp calls [

I am always glad to read that it's not just my ds. that lack communication. He reads my messages (on WhatsApp) then doesn't reply. So I know he's seen them. He sends the odd photo if dinner still. He will only message when he wants something. Today he sent "what's the amazon password?" No "thanks" when I told him it. No message to tell me he's ordered something on my account. I don't mind, but I thought he'd be a better at communicating. He replied instantly when the dog was ill. So he can reply when he wants 🙄

Maybe I won't expect him home that reading week then, if there's lots on. Though he's coming home that weekend as he's got something on on the Sunday.
I found out last weekend that he's not joined any societies. He paid to join the badminton club and never went again. But he seems happy enough. He's always been one to only have a small group of friends. Ds2 is very different, he is much more sociable (with his peers...not us!)

@Itscoldouthere yes I bet it is strange being in Canada.

@Itscoldouthere how are you getting on? And who's looking after your dog, or is he/she in quarantine? I bet it's proper cold over there????

Yes, I have started feeling rather like an empty nester even though DD is home for a few more years yet. She is in some ways more outgoing and sociable than her brother so is out and about much more.

@juicy0 I can completely relate. I was the same when dd went to university 4 years ago. It took me at least the first 2 terms to get used to her not being here and I missed her so much. When she was in sixth form she didn't go out a great deal and she spent a lot of her free time in the living room with dh and I so it was very noticeable when she left. Ds went out a lot in sixth form and he lived in his room when her was in so his absence is less noticeable. It will get better!

How is Canada @Itscoldouthere?

Ds has been a bit better at messaging than I was expecting (to be fair I had very low expectations!) I still find myself stalking him on social media to fond out what he is up to 😳

Canada is lots of things ! Exciting, different, scary, cold, must say it’s all rather confusing. We’ve started looking for an apartment but it’s hard trying to decide where to live in a city you don’t know.
Just being in a city centre again is weird having lived in a small village for the last 7 years and before that leafy Noth London, now we’re staying downtown Montreal, it’s very different especially with the French thrown in to confuse everything.
My dog is staying with my sister in Wiltshire, he’s fine although is having a rabies vaccination tomorrow to get him ready for travel, I won’t bring him over till we are all settled and it’s warmer, probably April. Thankfully no quarantine required, my DH company is paying for a specialist pet travel company to bring him at an eye watering cost of $6500!!
Mind you he is classed as our only family as as far as the company is concerned the boys are now independent, so we don’t get any flights for them, which is a shame.
All I can say is it’s early days for me and I’m not 100% sure about being a ‘trailing spouse’ but it’s only for a few years and a great opportunity so I do intend to make the most of it.
Both boys are very excited at the thought of coming to Canada in the holidays.

@Itscoldouthere - it all sounds so exciting although I can imagine it could feel overwhelming at times. Have you given up work of your own to go with dh?

@MrsBartlet I don’t know what I’m going to do about work, I retained as a florist about 5 years ago and had a really nice balance working freelance with wedding florists in Cambridge & London, I am hoping I can find something similar here, but not speaking French does make it a lot more difficult.
I will have to find something to give me purpose and self identity though, even if it’s not paid work.

That sounds great. Fingers-crossed you can get something similar there.

Gosh. We have finally had the guarantor email through for ds's rental next year. It has the property address so I could google it.
It says luxury, executive property.
It's enormous with a large garden. 6 double bedrooms. 3 with en suite. (Though it seems they are all paying the same whether they have en suite or not) 2 large living rooms, a conservatory, utility room, garage, parking for 4 or 5 cars.
The bills are going to be a lot of money. I'm a bit concerned really. I know the others will want to stay 2 years too. They will make it such a mess too. Ds's room is always very untidy. So I know the deposit will not be returned.
I know a gardener already works there. So at least that is taken care of.

@icanbewhatiwant sounds lovely, when can I move in 😂

Oh how things have changed since our days in student accommodation
Don’t think executive homes were available then!
Well good luck to your DS @icanbewhatiwant, I must say my DS at Bournemouth has very swanky new halls this year and he loves it and keeps everything very clean and tidy, they make the UEA halls look rather shabby.
Hopefully your DS will feel the same in his lovely house.

I'm worrying about finding the money to pay for it! I wish they'd talked about setting a budget before looking. That's something I know now if the younger 2 go to university.

Did someone on here say something about a letting agency to avoid at all costs. DS has found somewhere via one and alarm bells are starting to ring....

I know ds has gone through an agent called adobe. I hadn't heard of them.