What one piece would you give to parents of 2020 freshers

[juicy0]

Whilst it's fresh in everyone's mind, having just dropped our DC at their chosen unis, what advice would you give parents who are now starting the process?

I thought it might be useful to have a thread of handy tips to carry on the fabulous support I've enjoyed on here this year.

Don't get over involved! You are not neglecting them by stepping back and organising themselves (with a friendly bit of support and guidance, if asked for, of course) you are doing them a massive favour and a step up to independence. I am genuinely astonished at the amount of helicopter parenting of 18/19 year olds I've read about on certain Mumsnet threads this year.

Totally agree with Nextphone. Suggest and guide, not worry over every kitchen utensil. Special needs require more input of course.

Make sure you can cook, wash up and know how to use a washing machine and tumble dryer before you leave home.

If they say they don't want to go the night before then tell them they don't have to go/can go and take it one day at a time. Chances are it's last minute nerves and they will want to go again the next morning. It's only a car journey away and they can be collected and come home if they need to be.

Don't underestimate the impact them leaving might have on their siblings! DH and I were a bit bereft when DS1 went to uni, but his brother, DS2, was devastated and it took almost a whole term for him to come to terms with it. They were close, two years apart, went to the same school, shared some interests/ the same sense of humour etc and he REALLY missed DS1 . His response was mostly an angry one, which inevitably, was directed towards us.

Another piece of advice - set up a family WhatsApp group to keep in touch via silly snippets of family life and jokes. The student child won't always tell you what they're doing, but you'll be grateful to discover they're still alive on a Sunday morning when they respond to a cat pic .

Depends on the child. My last 2 are at univesrity now. Useful advice -

• get your career deadlines ready - for some careers you will be applying for paid etc internships in Autumn of year 2 for summer of year 3; and then applying for the jobs etc at start of year 3.

• you may need to find your year 2 accommodation in Nov/Dec of term 1 of year 1 in many many universities in cluding Bristol where my twins are

• in my case I have paid all 5 an allowance per week (52 weeks a year) so they never run out of money - although parents either don't pay anything - full loan, low income etc or think termly payment helps the teenageer learn how to budget so will vary from family to family). Get your financial stuff agreed with the child in advance, perhaps even in writing so it is all 100% clear on all sides if you are able and willing to help them financially at all that is.