How often does your uni child contact you?

[Beanjar]

My eldest started uni last week and I'm just wondering how often they make contact?

I don't want to be in his face or push him away. I've messaged 3 x times this last week but I could have easily messaged his hourly. 😣

He's seen the WhatsApp messages (2 x blue ticks) but no replies. I've tried calling him once but he was obviously too busy to answer my call.

Is it a boy thing or because he's aspergers? He's never been great with messages or phone calls, he doesn't do social media but he's great face to face, if the subject interests him.

How do I know he's doing okay?

My DS with Asperger's has just gone into Second year, he only contacts me when he needs something and if I contact him I get one word replies! He is however happy to see us if we visit but he's never been chatty unless it's about his hobbies. Actually I think his younger brother messages back and forth but only about their shared hobbies.
I rarely phoned my parents ( it was phone boxes or if you were lucky a phone in the flat that took incoming calls only!)) Unless it was to announce that I was coming home for the weekend 😳

@posterCassianAndor 😄 I guess I can expect DS1 to keep contact regularly, if he doesn't, DS2 will certainly try to hunt him down. They are very close at the moment.

We book a weekly Facetime chat with him, usually on Saturday. It is so much better being able to actually see his face while he talks and one of the cats usually stops by trying to figure out where his voice is coming from.

Texting is on an as needed basis. Last week he needed a scan of the report from his medical exam/checkup from over the summer so that he could sign up for the crew team.

This is his second year at uni, so it's much lower stress for all of us than his first year was.

We're going to see him (about a 5 hour drive) on 27 Sept. for homecoming/parents weekend.

Just to warn you-we made plans to do FaceTime but it turned out my dd couldn’t cope with it- it made her too homesick so we stopped.

Mine call or I call (if I have any news or something that needs to be explained etc) every second day perhaps(maybe every 3rd) my eldest used to call every evening at the start to give me a run down of her day!! She needs to chat before going to bed, always has done...it’s like a download!! God help any future boyfriends! 😬😂

I am dreading this stage.

I think it really depends on the individual and what they're normally like with contact/ conversation. DS1 went on Sunday and has been in touch every day so far. This is normal for him though, he's very chatty and open and tends to message/ Facetime me when he's bored. If DS2 goes next year I know I'll only hear from him if he wants something!

DD now in 3rd yr only made contact to arrange a lift home at end of term! She doesn't like talking on the phone and isn't good at answering messages. Also won't have parents on social media. DS about to go and will be more communicative. They're all different.

I had 2 at uni at the same time. I whatsapped every day.... silly things, videos of the pets etc. One always responded, the other simply read them, I was happy enough with that as I knew he was alive. My less communicative son would be in touch if I happened to accidentally miss a day or 2 of pet videos so obviously he appreciated them.
In the first year I got lots of pictures of one sons meals and both used to text asking for domestic advice.
I think they like to know you are thinking of them, it worked for us.

We have a family message group and send pics of DPets each day, might get a response, if we don’t send a pic DD usually asks for one. FaceTime at the weekend or if she needs something more often. This is my 5th year of a DC at uni so all normal to me.

I didn’t go to uni but DH did at a time when it was a phone box to call home. Not sure he did that often or so him mum says, even now when he travels on business his calls are infrequent so it might be a male thing.

If the DD at uni goes quiet I get the other DC to stalk her on social media.

DS was a fresher last year. Odd text or fb message to ask factual questions or make arrangements - sometimes several in a day back and forth, often nothing for a fortnight. Infrequent Facebook video calls, may be once a fortnight on average, though I suggested once a week!

Hourly texts this week but I’m assuming once freshers week is over and room/ catering/ course are all sorted then it’ll slow down
(but I’m still following her around on find my iPhone...)

My daughter has been gone since friday, she phones every morning. Lots of facebook messaging too. She misses us very much, I am ok providing I keep busy.x

We dropped DS off on Saturday and had 4 days with no contact at all. DH finally cracked and texted him last night, he replied immediately to say he's having a ball, loves his flat and met so many new people in his student block.

I'm really trying to give him space but I miss him terribly.