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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Backpack for University

266 replies

Shimy · 09/09/2019 12:27

Just occurred to me that DS will need one for uni. What’s everyone else’s child using or what would you recommend? Im particularly interested in:

Ability to store laptop of about 17inch plus folder
Very good back support! So good shoulder straps and padding.

I’ve looked on amazon and there’s a myriad of back packs it’s difficult to know what to choose from.

OP posts:
Piggywaspushed · 15/09/2019 19:59

My colleagues all have younger children than I do. I wouldn't ask my neighbours for advice and even if I were to, their children are younger. I have a small family who live hundreds and even 1000s of miles away and aren't exactly experts on most things. MN has a broad church of knowledge and the advice , moral support, sympathy and understanding on here has kept many people afloat or just helped people out.

I am wondering if OP had asked for advice on a laptop whether she would have got the same vitriol.

It is interesting that at the beginning of this thread rubicon said she clicked on it because she was thinking of buying a backpack. So it seems MN is useful when one is seeking advice from strangers at times.

BoardingSchoolMater · 15/09/2019 20:00

Slightly different, but related.

I just had an iMessage (I don't have any kind of smartphone, so no whatsapp etc) from Boarder 1 to say that the assistant in Boots refused to sell him razor blades because he couldn't prove he was over 18 (he is 17).

Ok, said I. I'll buy you an electric shaver on Amazon and have it sent to school.

I sent him an Amazon link to a Braun electric shaver, asking "does this look ok?"

He said "no, it's a really weird video, and I don't want to look like the weirdo in the video. Thanks, but I'll cadge some blades from friends".

This is normal teenage stuff. I don't know why Roisin and Rubicon are having such a hard time. Obviously you would give up your life for your teenagers a gazillion times over. But they have to be able to choose their own stuff, be it backpacks or shaving equipment.

BoardingSchoolMater · 15/09/2019 20:01

Oh FFS. I now realise I'm talking to myself as the thread has yet again moved on, and things are going mad.

Trewser · 15/09/2019 20:04

So if he'd said yes to the razor you'd recommended, then you would have been 'controlling'? Is it just the fact he didn't like what you'd sent that makes you feel hands off about it?

BatshitBertha · 15/09/2019 20:06

I'm yet to come across a parent as sad and needy as you

But you don't know anyone on this thread? Some strong judgements there, about people you don't know.

You have a massive chip on your shoulder.

Get a grip, it's a thread about backpacks for fucks sake. Some people are so strange and clearly have no life, spending all weekend throwing insults at strangers. How pathetic.

Trewser · 15/09/2019 20:09

I'm yet to come across a parent as sad and needy as you

Is a horrible personal attack

Ffs sort it out Mumsnet.

BoardingSchoolMater · 15/09/2019 20:12

Trewser, I am evidently thick as I'm not understanding what you're getting at.

If DS had said "yeah, Mum, buy it", I'd have bought it. He didn't, so he has come up with an alternative solution.

We are both happy. I am probably more hands off than hands on, having spent about 100 years as a SAHM pre-boarding and now feeling the need of a few weeks of space, but I'd say it's more a case of responding to the individual's needs and requirements. If my DC wanted me to source a suitable backpack, I'd do it. What they would mostly do is tell me what they want need.

drsausage · 15/09/2019 20:15

It is absolutely about responding to an individual's needs and requirements, although occasionally (speaking as a fellow boarding school mother) I would throw something nice and unexpected their way.

Mine used to just find the blades she needed on Amazon and order them herself.

wigglybeezer · 15/09/2019 20:17

Er, surely asking strangers for advice is the whole point of internet forums.
Giving advice to young people isn't controlling as long as they are free to ignore or disagree, as mine often do.
I also like coming on the Higher Ed threads because I can talk about DS, even do a bit of mild stealth boasting, which it would be a bit crass to keep doing with friends and family in real life, just as I restrict angst about my problem child to Mumsnet for his privacy.

FrameyMcFrame · 15/09/2019 20:18

Dd wants one of those Kanken backpacks for uni.
They do seem a bit expensive at £80 each, are they worth it?

Piggywaspushed · 15/09/2019 20:26

Bit harsh deleting my posts MNHQ which most certainly were not personal attacks but I am sure that was in the name of balance . Hey ho first time for everything!

roisinagusniamh · 15/09/2019 20:28

You'll be fine Piggy, it's not at all personal.
😊

MNHQ
HebeMumsnet · 15/09/2019 20:29

And on a less exasperated note... OP, I'd second the recommendation for a Herschel. Have one myself and has done me proud for several years, lugging a laptop and all kinds of other stuff around in it. Is pretty waterproof. Not too expensive either. Think mine was about £25.

stucknoue · 15/09/2019 20:30

Dd is taking her dakine one but I think it's time he chose his own!

Piggywaspushed · 15/09/2019 20:32

I know that roisin !

Pennyjane89 · 15/09/2019 20:33

Riosena you must be having a boring day to have to come on here just to wind people up.

BoardingSchoolMater · 15/09/2019 21:06

@Drsausage Oh goodness, I loved your post. I occasionally chuck nice stuff at my boarders, too. The younger ones are better at organising themselves, which means razors etc. DC1 (Y13) is a numpty so it's all a bit ad lib with him. As I say, though, the main thing is responding to the needs of the individual child in the particular circumstances. It's easy on MN to lose sight of the fact that we are all (or mostly) mothers, and would all give up our lives a thousand million times over for our children, whatever our circumstances and experiences. We all have this in common.

pyramidbutterflyfish · 15/09/2019 22:33

My Mum bought me a new rucksack for Christmas... I'm 42! At the time I said thanks very much, but I now realise I should have told her to stop being controlling and get a life 😆

Northernlurker · 15/09/2019 22:46

I am now parenting two adults. It's different from when they were 5 or 14 but they still need my love and support. It's not about controlling their lives or living through them. I have a lovely life of my own. But we are a clan and that means caring. I think it is very sad indeed if some mumsnetters haven't had the example of life long parenting that would allow them to see it isn't a race to 18 and that's the end.

BoardingSchoolMater · 15/09/2019 23:19

Why does it have to be either 'controlling' or a 'race to 18'? Ok, so I wouldn't get involved in choosing a backpack for a child aged over about 12. I haven't been to look at universities with my children who are the relevant ages, because they are the ones going to university (or not), not me. It's their university, their course, their life.

However... that doesn't make me right or perfect or brilliant. It doesn't make me love my children any more or less than anyone else on here. My guess is that if we all care enough to be posting on MN, we probably all care, beyond measure, about our DC, even if we show it differently. We should all accept this and give one another a break when it comes to the detail.

Aurea · 15/09/2019 23:25

Give it a few years......🤣

(Some light hearted relief)

Backpack for University
WaxOnFeckOff · 15/09/2019 23:50

Yip, I'm happy to give anyone a break, except those that are plainly just asshats who are in it to stir it whilst living some fantasy.

This is a quote from the ruling of the judges who ruled against the introduction of the Named Person scheme in Scotland.

“The first thing that a totalitarian regime tries to do is to get to the children, to distance them from the subversive, varied influences of their families, and indoctrinate them in their rulers’ view of the world. Within limits, families must be left to bring up their children in their own way.

It's really only the last sentence that applies to this thread, but the whole quote is sobering reading.

chocatoo · 16/09/2019 06:59

I am disappointed by the derogatory and critical tone that many posters feel free to use. We are all different. If you can’t say something pleasantly, maybe resist saying anything at all!
DD and I are very close and I am going to miss her dreadfully. That doesn’t mean that I don’t think she should go, but I know I will really miss her - I have loved spending loads of quality time with her over the years. I accept that some Mums seem to find it easier to move on with the next chapter, but I am not one of them. It will definitely take some adjustment!
I don’t see any issue in OP asking for advice about backpacks. Her son will no doubt say if it’s not a brand he’d like.

Trewser · 16/09/2019 07:06

BoardingSchoolMater my point was that you suggested a razor brand, which he rejected. If he'd said "yeah great!", and you'd bought him the razors, would you have been controlling? Why is it ok to get involved in razors but not backpacks? I have day kids at boarding school and yes, there isn't the same level of parental involvement in the teen boarders lives obviously, there can't be. That's good in some ways and bad in others, like most of parenting!

milliefiori · 16/09/2019 12:13

The fighting on this thread is mystifying. Why would a parent not want to buy her son a useful present before uni? I will really enjoy buying kit for DC before they head off, and see it as an act of love. Not controlling or babying them. Just showing them I'm thinking about what they might need and sharing the cost a bit.

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