Oxford open day

[Lovemusic33]

Hi, hope I’m posting in the right place.
My dd has been asked to go to oxford open day next week with several other students. Dd is in only in year ten (sitting GCSE next year) and has Aspergers, most of the other students who are attending at six form students. Dd is very bright and predicted mainly 8’s and 9’s in GCSE so her teacher feels it would be good for her to join them for the open day just to get an idea of where she could go in a few years. She’s very excited about going. I have just received a letter from the school asking dd to pick 3 subjects so she can attend talks on those subjects. I’m now worried that she will be left to attend these talks on her own. Should I be asking her teacher if he plans on staying with her? Her Aspergers can cause anxiety and disorientation.

Has anyone else’s child attended? Is it pretty easy to navigate?

Also, DD's application is her own. If I'd gone with my other DC I'd also have gone with DD. I didn't so I didn't. I don't see why the fact that an older sibling has gone should make much difference to her confidence levels - after all, it doesn't increase her chances of getting in.

Problem is Goodbye - you and I know that Oxford is open at other times of the year for initial or confirmatory visits. I think in fact it was probably you that suggested we could visit at Easter when we did and contacted some admissions officers to arrange our individual tours of certain colleges which was helpful and indeed suggested a particular college for DS to check out.

It isn't general knowledge though and not touched upon at the open days so I am not sure unless someone happened across it on a forum like this how they would find out they could in fact do this. It isn't "flagged up" on the Uni websites. The uni website does also take you through a number of links, and if merely getting an overview you might not explore it in the depth you need to to find this out . I did come across eventually a one liner tucked in saying you could do this but it didn't go into any detail and I assume if they publicised it too much they might get overwhelmed and then actually have to stop them.

I think sometimes you forget that due to your own experience you have accumulated a lot of knowledge of the systems and of what is available and what isn't, which isn't necessarily in the general domain.

It might be useful when a new Oxbridge Applicants thread starts each year to go on the thread early and let people know that there are Autumn and Summer Open Days and that colleges will show individuals round etc so more people access it early as they may not necessarily look back at older threads and the new thread each year may be their first foray into the world of Oxbridge.

I have to say when the Merton student mentioned sub fusc on a college tour I had a little smile as I was one of the ones on a recent thread who had no idea what it meant!

OKBobble I think I suggested a college when you messaged and described your DS as he sounds pretty similar to one of mine who read the same subject and loved his own college - but - big but - I know nothing of 'individual tours' (unless you mean wandering around by yourselves as prospective applicants).

Presumably though Oxford is a town she has visited before. That will surely make a difference. I have no doubt both my DC could have managed on their own. However there is a difference between somewhere you have been to before and which feels safe and familiar, and somewhere you have never visited.

Are Universities leading the charge on this? My impression of Warwick was that they were doing their best to encourage applications, and so were happy for people to attend the open day. Actually my impression was of pretty hard sell. It is a big decision. It is the first major DC our DC make. I am not surprised some take it very seriously.

Experience within a family undoubtedly allows you to focus on particular colleges and subject combinations, as they will help you narrow down your choices. I know I immediately ruled out the colleges/subjects my siblings had taken on principle. We've had enough experience of the courses and universities DD has visited to be able to do this, whereas for some without our background it must be like visiting a toy shop at Christmas, where you want to see and experience everything.

"individual tour" as in pre-messaging the admissions tutor to say we were hoping to call by and a couple said to ask for them when we got there and showed us around, others didn't but DS told Porter he was prospective student and the porter let us in to look at the quads etc but we couldn't go in buildings rather than a full tour like on open days. Indeed the lovely Porter at Christ Church lent me a brolly as I was under prepared for the weather! But it was very helpful to have gone at the Easter to get an overview of some colleges and led DS to realise he would actually prefer a larger one to the smaller/mid sized ones we saw at Easter.

This meant in July he could focus on some of the bigger ones as well as departmental stuff.

Goodbye : I would assume that some of DD's confidence comes from being a high achieving student who has 6 older siblings who got into Oxford and therefore she would see no reason why she might not be similarly successful. Also I assume that she does speak to her siblings and has heard tales of Oxford too. Although on paper she becomes a regular applicant and in the set of statistics at her grade levels etc but in reality it is not a far off dream to her as it might be to someone like the OP's daughter because if she is anything like my 3 boys then if one can do it the others would see no reason why they couldn't too.

I don't think it was a confidence thing for DS as he certainly has plenty of that! It was just something we did as a family mainly for the practicalities but turned into an experience we shared.

OKBobble it's Needmoresleep who seems to be setting poor DD up for a fall. I've made no mention of DD's confidence. She's mid range I'd say. Probably should be more confident but eighth child, not much attention from her mother etc. etc. So yes, mid range at best. She might get in she might not but I'm not sure why posters who don't know her are giving an opinion tbh. She's very keen on Durham too, would be completely happy there too I expect.

Yes of course she thinks some of her older brothers are twits. But then she also thinks they were lucky, by the same token. It's meaningless in terms of whether she thinks she's more likely to get in.

Ruling out a subject 'on principle' seems a very limited approach Devondoggy.

The toy shop comment is on the patronizing side Devondoggy.

Incidentally I do hope your username isn't based on reality and that you aren't actually the lady who cuts my two doggies hair because I'm nervous about their next hair style if that's the case. I don't think you are the same lady though, based on what I know.

For the record I have no intention to set you DD up for a fall. I was only responding to your suggestion that prospective students only visit one June open day.

I was suggesting that OctaviaStranger was in a fairly unique position, and that she has had probably more exposure to Oxford and the admissions process than most, so perhaps cannot be treated as a guide, especially for those whose DC are not quite as organised at 17 as they should be.

(DS at that age would have had his head in the clouds and probably ended up in Norwich rather than Cambridge.)

And from what you saw she seems relatively confident of getting one of her twop two choices. Mine, in contract got two offers each, three of which came through late March. Seeing a more Universities became important. Oddly it was the fifth, fall back University that proved the most difficult for DS. He was not greatly attracted to any of them, and in retrospect he perhaps should have left that line blank, and had a gap year as a fall back. But till we saw them, he did not know this.

DD1 did the same Y12 only visit. This isn't new for Octavia (not sure I warm to the Jacob Rees-Mogg comparison (who was directly behind us in the queue for a particular Florentine attraction very recently - happy to take advantage of Europe when it suits).

But I haven't said anything at all which could lead you - or anyone - to think 'she seems confident of getting one of her top two choices' Needmoresleep. She has good grades but so do most of the 17,000+ applicants. If she's successful then I hope no-one, however small minded, would begrudge her that success and if unsuccessful then I hope no-one (ditto) would be mean. She's got a cheery disposition; she'll be fine.

Not all all. When you're faced with a complete range of ancient and modern, all in one place, it's exciting to sample a range of option. The analogy is perfect.

Nonsense. If you won't read a subject your sibling has read 'on principle', that suggests a very dysfunctional family dynamic, nothing more, nothing less. Each sibling is an individual.

Not all families feel the need to copy each other ad infinitum. I knew enough about my siblings degree courses and colleges to know that I would not like to follow in their footsteps. After all, there are plenty to choose from and each sibling is an individual.

Devondoggy your heavy handed lack of subtlety isn't lost on me. But if the eldest child in a family goes to one of the two elite universities in a particular country it would be pissy irritating for subsequent siblings if because of some weird dysfunction in the family they felt barred from applying to that same elite institution. Or even feeling pressured to apply to the other institution rather than the first because of some external pressure to be 'different'. I think my own DC feel secure enough in their own individuality to apply freely, in terms of institution, subject and college. My interpretation is a confirmation of individuality rather than dysfunction, which I think they (and those who know them) would affirm. I'm sorry of you have difficulty with this - not my problem tbh.

I'm sorry if you have difficulty etc.

And so to bed!

Out of interest though, Goodbye, did none of your children ever consider Cambridge bearing in mind that it is generally ranked number one in more subjects than Oxford? My DS won't consider it because we live here and he wants to go away for uni. But both would be away for yours.

Is it ranked higher generally OKBobble? I'm not sure it is/ was for their subjects but I don't think paper thin rankings would sway them in any event. They all considered it very briefly - DS1 (Medicine) slightly more so - but all find Oxford much more attractive in terms of vibe. Cambridge seems much quieter. DD4 much prefers Oxford even though I can see Oxford is ranked lower than Cambridge for Classics. Oxford is more competitive to get into and that didn't sway them either.

I think they've quite liked any overlap with siblings but each had their own life in Oxford, totally unencumbered by siblings or any weird rivalry - they did each choose different colleges though. They'd bump into each other in the street or when out in the evenings at clubs or whatever but going to different colleges gave each space. They each also felt totally free with subject choice. Lat night when the idea of principle was mooted I looked at a couple of the families who've had large sibling clusters at Oxford and by comparison I'd say mine were a pretty mixed bag! Of the four Johnson brothers and sisters two went to Balliol and two to New and at least two read Classics. Jo read History, can't see Leo. I also can't see what subjects or colleges the Maxwells went to (I probably could on both counts if I applied some effort!). And there was a family of six in the papers a few years ago, the O'Malleys where five of the six had read History and one English - an outrageous lack of principle there! I simply don't understand why siblings would choose a different subject 'on principle'. Once DD4 is at uni they'll have five different subjects across eight of them but if each had chosen say History, that would have been completely fine too.

OKBobble re the question and the appropriate person to email the answer is no, the question was practical but also one of policy within the particular subject so the tutor who gave the session was exactly the person to ask. DD showed me his response - clearly the tutor had no problem whatsoever in being asked! In fact the trouble he took to reply strongly suggests he'd be a fab tutor if DD got lucky with a place.

Gosh I only asked if any of them had ever considered Cambridge.

I assume the rest of the post wasn't directed at me?

No it was for Devondoggy OKBobble, directly in response to her post about siblings not doing the same subject 'on principle'. I know lots of siblings who've been at Oxford many of whom have done identical subjects and several who haven't. But the ones in the public eye are easier to make reference to so I looked them up (up to a point). Some families have very varied talents (eg mine and a number of our friends) but plenty of families tend towards one subject or another, and very often that's where the parents' interests have been. History is probably the strongest theme in our family but for lots of families we know it's Natural Sciences or Engineering and lots of doctors' DC follow them into Medicine.