I should add that the workload at Oxbridge is absolutely a different kettle of fish to the workload at other very good universities.
I hate this sort of comment. Do people really think that those bright motivated DC who narrowly miss Oxbridge places then lose their commitment to their subject.
It may be fair to say that the teaching approach elsewhere is different and possibly less structured, so a student is more able to organise themselves. Longer terms also help. So DS had two 12 week terms at the LSE followed by one six week "exam" term. He also sat four of the eight exams that count towards his final degree, at the end of his second year. He did not write anywhere near the same number of essays (economics) but he and his friends worked steadily throughout his three years, and I don't think many would argue that they covered less ground or that their degrees have less international prestige than the Oxbridge equivalents.
DS went to a super selective independent, where close to half his peers will have gone to Oxbridge, and many of the rest to London or other well regarded Universities. He was surprised, meeting up at the first Christmas, that many had not enjoyed their first term, though without a discernible pattern. Oxbridge students were not less or more happy than those who had gone elsewhere. There were also different reasons. Disinterested supervisor, work pressure, social etc. A couple including one at Oxbridge switched Universities at the end of the first year and thrived elsewhere. A friend from overseas might have been less socially isolated at Imperial. DS does not like writing essays but loves his subject and is good at organising himself to achieve a good work life balance, so he was happy and if starting again would almost certainly opt for LSE of Cambridge.
And echoing what Bevelino says, DD is at Bristol (medicine) having opted not to apply to Oxbridge or any of the BMAT schools. It is a completely different course, with additional placements in the summer vacation, longer terms and patient contact from the first week. She talks about situations she has come across which have left an impression, rather than about essays or biochemistry, and will almost certainly end her preclinical years with better communication skills, but perhaps less science, than she would have had she gone to Oxbridge. Which is better? Which is "working harder"? Who knows. She likes the patient side of medicine so her course suits her better, and she will probably take a year out to intercalate in something quite scientific, so should, like her brother, end up in more or less the same place as her Oxbridge peers, albeit by a route that suits her better.