Does anyone regret going to Oxbridge?

[staropramen]

I have a Ds in first year at Oxford. He's finding the workload tough. Whilst he is enjoying it, he says he is often miserable during term time due to lack of time to breathe. The terms are so hectic that he doesn't get a great deal of chance to just take a Saturday off.

Many of his friends in first year at other prestigious universities really seem to be enjoying themselves and plenty of time to just chill out and enjoy being young. They get to relish the moment.

I was wondering, does anyone else regret going to Oxbridge? Or perhaps, is this something that will pass for ds.

I taught an extremely bright student who had dropped out of Oxbridge after her first year to come to my RG university. Absolutely nothing wrong with either her motivation or her work ethic; the learning approach just didn't suit her that well.

The workload is high but normally after a while you can figure out how to get enough done in a way that slows you enough time to do other things too.

Plus quite frankly I used to do all nighters a lot and stay up until 4-5am to get essays done once or twice a week then had a few hours kip pre lectures which meant I could go out other nights. I had more energy in those days...

It will pay off later - a degree from Oxford will (rightly or wrongly) open doors more easily for your son. Life is long (hard to explain that to a young person, I know) but "he who laughs last laughs longest" as they say. There will be decades of nights out for your DS if he wants them in a few years.

a degree from Oxford will (rightly or wrongly) open doors more easily for your son

Not always the case - at least in our recent experience. Yes perhaps for some humanities and some careers, but there are lots of degrees: aeronautical engineering, robotics, product design, econometrics, film production, commercial law, targeted MFL, and so on, where you might be better off elsewhere.

And indeed at an individual level your long term prospects might be best served somewhere where you can be both happy and productive.

Which does not meant that for most Oxbridge students, Oxbridge is not the right place. Or that they are not having the time of their lives. But most is not all. An additional pressure can come from being really unhappy at a time when they feel everyone else is happy.

This probably does not apply to OPs DC. However it may be worth his, as others have said, reviewing his approach to work, effectively allocating his time between work and down time and setting limits to how long he spends on anything. Plus perhaps making a list of the things he enjoys about Oxford to remind himself why he is there. (If he is not enjoying the course itself it may be time for a rethink.) .

Graduated over 15 years ago, and don't regret it for a second - it wasn't an easy three years, but it was a good experience and has opened so many doors. I came from a very un-Oxbridge background (working class, rural, poor comprehensive that hadn't even had anyone apply in over a decade, and was from Scotland which meant I was 18-24 months younger than everyone on my course).

It definitely helped that I went to one of the more socially relaxed colleges. Having said that, the first year in particular is very tough - many (including myself) come from an environment in which they are one of the top fish in the pond with very little effort, to one in which they feel like they're barely in the pond, despite how hard they work. The pressure is huge, regardless of whether you do an arts or science subject (although the demands are very different).

What helped me was realising early on that I had a choice - to sacrifice my life, sanity and time to working towards a first; or to accept that I'd be happy with an 2.1 which would require me to work steadily and strategically, especially in the final two terms of the degree (I did a subject where entire degree class came down to my final exams, no coursework component), but would give me time to breathe and relax.

There's a lot of sense in many of the posts above. It's often a huge step up, but you do learn to cope. The first year is a shock to the system as you adjust to being in a very different academic arena, and the level of work that is expected (with less of the structure that you're used to at school). The mental shift to "it doesn't have to be perfect, this is as good as I can make it now so I'm going to put it down" is half the battle. Oxford was probably the making of me - it gave me confidence, opportunities and taught me that working smart was often as important as working hard!

@Hedgesparrow "Yes, when I say to people who went to a RG university I had to write 2 essays a week on a completely new topic, each with a reading list of 20-30 books or articles, with no relevant lectures to attend and no contact time other than the tutorial whereby you had to read said essay aloud to the tutor (sometimes one to one), they look at me as though I'm mad. It's not for everyone." This was basically my life for three years, and when you read it back now it sounds nuts!

I struggled a bit with first year. It was difficult to adjust from being top of my state comp to being very average! I had to work hard to get a 2:1. I was more used to the pace by second year.

I did enjoy it though and did lots of social stuff. I think of the May balls and formals with very fond memories now.

I did prefer my post grad RG experience. Less pressure and more free time. But the Oxbridge degree opens doors and I’m proud that I stuck it out.