Oxbridge Applications 2019 (Part Three)

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Today is a big day for many... time for a new thread too

Malbecfan - what a wonderful story....

PantTwizzler I've pm'ed you.

Justanother imo the only sensible course of action is to firm the one she actually likes better. Does she have offer holder days planned?

Hand-holding to all of us waiting for decisions tomorrow!

Einglev - if it helps, DC3 chose St Johns becasue it’s rich enough to offer cheap accommodation and lots of grants and because he met a pupil from his state comprehensive at the open day; she’s loving it and doesn’t seem to find it too posh. And my DC certainly has non academic interests which he’s looking forward to pursuing at St J’s; seems to have a good balance. Fingers crossed 🤞

We’ve been told that most people end up loving the college that they go to regardless of whether it is the one that they applied to.

My dd interviewed for medicine this year. The process is slightly different in that you know before you arrive that you will two interviews at your chosen college and then two interviews at a college which has been randomly allocated in advance. One of her interviews at her chosen college went so badly that she thought she had blown her chances there. Then she went to her allocated college, which on paper wouldn’t have been her choice at all, had two really good interviews there, met some lovely students and decided that she would be very happy there. She was offered at her original college of choice and is obviously very happy with that but her preconceptions about the second college were completely changed in a very short space of time.

There are definitely pros and cons to each college so it would be hasty to reject a college so soon after receiving an offer without visiting again with an open mind.

Lovely Malbecfan!

Shalom - Thanks for that. Hopefully it will work that way with DD’s college and we’ll know before she has to leave tomorrow.

Coleoptera - My daughter has never been diagnosed with Aspergers (although she has traits and it has been suggested by professionals informally) but she is diagnosed with Dyspraxia and has terrible anxiety. She can become fixated on things and certainly Cambridge has become one of those things. I know she will find rejection incredibly hard if that is what happens tomorrow even though she likes 2 of the other universities she has offers from. It does worry me. It’s very tricky.
I completely sympathise with your mixed feelings about tomorrow’s news. However, if DT1 does get an offer it is an amazing achievement and I’m sure everyone will be happy in the end. If he doesn’t then things may be slightly easier as you say.
I would suggest trying not to weigh up the pros and cons of the other universities, if possible, until all the offers are in and the boys know where they stand.
I would also like to say that my DD hates the idea of preferential treatment, but did disclose both her Dyspraxia and anxiety in the application. If your DT2 did decide to defer in the end then maybe next time he could mention his additional needs or special circumstances. Good luck for tomorrow, whatever that means and all the best to both boys. It will work out.

DT1's ASD would get him a single room if disclosed.

Sorry DD2.

Sorry cross post.

Coleoptera it was exactly the same with my DD. She didn’t feel she needed any special treatment at the interview and said no on fear form too as she’d visited the college before and knew what to expect. They will know from the UCAS forms though and, if accepted, will hopefully mean she has some support when necessary.
All the best!

Her!

Just in case this is helpful...
My son's Cambridge offer came at 11am by email and his friend's offer didn't come until nearly 5pm by email. I think yes and no emails come at the same time.
Also my other son applied to Durham (and not Oxbridge) for maths. He was a strong candidate with 11a* at GCSE and 97% average UMS in maths and further maths as but his offer didn't come until the end of February. There is still plenty of time.

Thanks Rowantree! I will adjust our expectations on timing!

I am saying this only to help DT2. ASD children are very often hung up on stats so it may help him process his rejection. His GCSE results are on the low side for Oxford and so he did brilliantly to get as far as he did. It may help him to understand this - my own DS spent many hours examining results tables and comparing chance of offer against number of A*s achieved. There is obviously the context to be taken into account but there is a very strong correlation. Please only mention to DT2 if you think that will help in any way and will not make him feel worse. for you.

Thank you so much Dr Madeline - in all the mass of information on entries for two DDs in one year (!), I missed this part! So at least we have missed the pooling interviews, and that is a relief, and we will know either way tomorrow. If only we knew when...... aargh!

Thanks all for your helpful points. I've read bits out to DD and I think she's taken some of it on board.

All best wishes to all the parents of Cambridge applicants tomorrow.

Thank you Malbecfan - DD is relieved that she hasn't got to go back for a pooling interview and os now pre-warned that an offer could come from an unexpected source! Any offer at the moment would be welcome however, as with a late LNAT she is still awaiting any offer at all!

Oh Rowantree - 5pm!!!!!! I don't know how I'm going to deal with that! Do you recall which college that might have been?

A few years back we were in this position; may I just share some stuff I wish I’d known? To those of you whose DC have received/ will receive offers, congratulations of course but please be mindful of how much pressure an Oxbridge offer puts them under. Resist the temptation to share it with all and sundry- grandparents can be especially over- exuberant. It isn’t a done deal and they have to make the grades. There will be very little quarter given to near misses. DD missed out on one A* in one subject by one mark and Oxford would not take her. Remarks did not help because the rules on those have changed, rightly or wrongly and the grounds for changing marks are much narrower. I am so proud of how she dusted herself down and picked herself up after an absolutely awful time, and happy to say that she is thriving elsewhere. She is now in her final year and predicted a high First, but it has not been easy for her at times. She actually overworked for her A levels in her determination and anxiety not to miss her offer. I did not pick up on it and neither did the school because she’s a good kid who just gets on and doesn’t make a fuss. So things I wish I had known? Number one, apply after A level. Two, if I had known how brutal it was I would absolutely not have exposed her to it at the age of 17. Three, she is getting a world class education elsewhere, albeit not the Oxford kudos. Four, I failed to keep the weight of family and school expectation away from her and didn’t pick up on her anxiety. I hope I’m not raining on anyone’s parade, I guess I just wanted to say to those whose DC missed out, they will doubtless fly elsewhere, and academically be very well served, and to those whose DC have offers, lower the emotional temperature as much as you can, there’s an awful long way to go.

Hoccleve thank you for your thoughtful and sobering post

Just caught up... I've probably mentioned this before, but my DD was pooled to one of the few Cambridge colleges she'd previously said she wouldn't want to go to - having been to a girls' secondary school she thought she didn't want to go to a women's college. When the offer arrived (no pooling interview, first she knew was picking up an email from her offering college in the afternoon of the 'offer day') ... you've never seen such a quick 180 degree turnaround.

Being further from the centre has definite advantages - off the tourist trail, and nearer Aldi. The lab groups seem to mix up a couple of colleges, which led to her making some very good male friends.

great advice Hoccleve

Hoccleve - definitely a good idea not to overshare the offer. It does help a lot if they've got an insurance offer they also like.

Indeed Errol - made all the difference in the world.