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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

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Original poster

Dd doesn't want to go to uni. Has no idea what to do.

62 replies

Blarneybear · 19/10/2018 10:30

I think she's overwhelmed with life. She says she can't bear the idea of leaving home. She also has a horse who she genuinely loves. Doesn't socialise much. Loves her family life. Says she's not ready to leave it all. Has no idea what she wants to do. Had to repeat a year in 6th form due to illness so is behind her peers anyway so not sure if a gap year is a good idea. She's a lovely girl but totally lacks ambition unless it's with her horse. She's predicted A/B, B, C so not amazing grades. Help!

OP posts:

AJPTaylor · 22/10/2018 07:14

Since when were those grades not great? Ffs.
Our kids will be working til they are 70 at least.
A few years at the start working out what they want is time well
Spent. Let her earn buttons with horses and find out for herself. As long as you make sure she contributes something into the pot and dont over subsidize her she will make the right decisions for her.

Original poster

Blarneybear · 22/10/2018 08:48

Let her earn buttons with horses and find out for herself. As long as you make sure she contributes something into the pot and dont over subsidize her she will make the right decisions for her

She's going to apply as normal for September 2019 but also try and get a job on an event yard and perhaps take a gap year. She feels her illness meant she's missed out on a gap year and needs to do it - a mix of working, travelling and horses. I've come round to the idea and think it will be really good for her.

OP posts:

Dancergirl · 22/10/2018 16:39

There are lots of apprenticeships out there in lots of different areas

This is very true and I think they will increase in number in the future.

The problem is - they have to decide what they want to do for a job at 18. Dd was considering an apprenticeship a few months ago but has gone off the idea now because she doesn't know what she wants to do. So she's planning on doing an English degree which is a good basis for lots of different careers.

Original poster

Blarneybear · 22/10/2018 18:21

I'm not sure most posters on mumsnet have any idea about apprenticeships. There are absolutely none near us apart from working with helicopters. Strangely dd is uninterested in that.

OP posts:

LoniceraJaponica · 22/10/2018 19:54

I agree Blarneybear. Apprenticeships are difficult to come by round here as well.

reallyanotherone · 22/10/2018 20:02

I could have been your dd.

I was pushed into uni. I was “allowed” to take a year out- i moved away, took my horse with me as i got a working pupil job which allowed livery.

I wanted to continue after the year- inwas offered a competition job abroad which would have been fab and got me a second language. But I bent to family pressure, came home, and got a place at a good uni studying a proper subject.

As i didn’t have a clue on career path i picked one of my a level subjects. Got a good degree but in the end it was one i couldn’t use for the fields i was interested in. Bit of a waste of time and i never really got a career going.

Conversely, i had a mate who’s parents were fine about her getting a job at 18 and doing what she wanted, earning money. At 25 she decided it wasn't enough money, went to law school and is now a barrister.

Mature students are very common now and i think it’s often a good idea to shelve uni plans until there is a definite plan for a career and the degree is becessary.

AsleepAllDay · 22/10/2018 20:17

Uni will almost always be there - I'm sure they'll dismantle the loans system before long but she has many many years to get back to it. And better to be passionate about learning rather than pick a course 'just because.'

clopper · 22/10/2018 20:22

www.hartpury.ac.uk/university/
Lots of equine and animal based careers and sports based studies in this college / uni which has a very good reputation.

clopper · 22/10/2018 20:24

www.hartpury.ac.uk/university/
Forgot to say that many of the equine students take their own horses there with them.

Original poster

Blarneybear · 22/10/2018 20:28

We did look at Hartpury but the drop out rate was shocking

OP posts:

EggysMom · 22/10/2018 20:29

I didn't go to university and it hasn't harmed me I got very good grades, took a 'gap year' before it was fashionable, got a job about three months into that year, and was earning money while all my friends were poor and getting further into debt - so decided to stay earning money instead. Do I have a profession or a fantastic career? No. Am I happy? Yes. What's more important?

toomanyeastereggsurghh · 22/10/2018 20:40

I have a younger friend who did an equine science course at Hartpury and had a great time, and finished the course! She took her horse to uni with her and both were very happy 🐴 😊 A few years on and she is now managing a very prestigious stables and will always be working with horses as they are her passion.

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