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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Original poster

Starting Uni (first year) 2018. A support/chat thread.

480 replies

Justanothermile · 18/08/2018 08:55

Hi there.

I don't think there's another thread for folk with DC starting university this September/October. I'm not sure there's even a need, but I thought I would start one and see.

DS is my first DC and going to Lancaster. New territory for us, so we are learning as we go.

The last few weeks have been reading up about clearing and alternative courses in case he didn't get his first choice, he was pretty pessimistic but did get accepted.

Now it's countdown to the big day and planning what things he needs to take etc.

I believe accommodation will be confirmed in the next few days.

OP posts:
3catsandcounting · 24/08/2018 23:11

Oh, and he's doing Computer Science too, just not at Nottingham.

flatmouse · 25/08/2018 10:38

I give up with DS. Can't see him lasting the first term! All he does is lie about watching YouTube etc. No drive to get ready nor interest it seems. I'm the baddy trying to suggest he does stuff.

Has bank appt at 11am. I finally went into his room at 10:30 (he was on iPhone) to enquire as to what he was doing. Even when it finally sunk in that appt at 11 and it was 10:30 he barely moved.

He's just left. Bet he hasn't got UCAS letter that he needs, but I guess he'll get away with it as can probably access on phone.

Grrrrrrr!

flatmouse · 25/08/2018 10:40

Ok. He's just returned having realised he needs letter!
Bet he forgets to ask about credit card, and we still need to sort something with his child isa now he's an adult.

marmiteloversunite · 25/08/2018 11:09

Oh flatmouse how frustrating!! I would be tearing my hair out.

flatmouse · 25/08/2018 11:15

Still got hair @marmiteloversunite, it's just even grey-er now! Smile

TheThirdOfHerName · 25/08/2018 11:32

flatmouse he sounds a lot like my DS1. Preparedness, thinking ahead and organisational skills are not where DS1's strengths lie.

flatmouse · 25/08/2018 11:41

Glad to hear he's not the only one. DH and I had big debate as to whether to prompt but last minute so he had to rush, or let him miss so that he'd have to rearrange.
Not sure if we did right. Can't help thinking it my fault for doing so much for him until now. I need to let him fail (hopefully just small things).

voilets · 25/08/2018 11:55

As a teacher and mum of a boy - I think it is very common for boys to be laid back. I worried enormously with my boy 3 years ago but he did great! I think they surprise you! I did most things for my son before uni but he became fully independent very quickly. I think this is common even though it is a worry.I hope this reassures you flatmouse.

OhYouBadBadKitten · 25/08/2018 12:00

I think they will figure things out, I hope!

flatmouse · 25/08/2018 12:14

Thanks guys.
In other news, the door lock keeps on giving! Trip to screwfix to get screw removal kit, finally managed to get screw out. New lock fitted and then realise door in some kind of semi locked state. Need to return to old lock to try to sort door again!

JuneMyNameIsJune · 25/08/2018 12:16

'I give up with DS. Can't see him lasting the first term! All he does is lie about watching YouTube etc. No drive to get ready nor interest it seems. I'm the baddy trying to suggest he does stuff.

Has bank appt at 11am. I finally went into his room at 10:30 (he was on iPhone) to enquire as to what he was doing. Even when it finally sunk in that appt at 11 and it was 10:30 he barely moved.

He's just left. Bet he hasn't got UCAS letter that he needs, but I guess he'll get away with it as can probably access on phone.

Grrrrrrr!'
@flatmouse

I feel your pain flatmouse, I really do. I feel like killing my DS. I dare not list the catalogue of disasters here because my blood pressure is already through the roof!

Still no bank card here. Refuses to call and thinks he can sort it out online but can't remember online access details. I've pointed out he needs access to the bank account his loan will be paid into to no avail.

I caved in and made some appointments for him just to get the ball rolling. He has so much to sort out - other than his confirmed place he has nothing sorted. No accommodation, he needs online access to apply, that's not working and rather than phone immediately he left it until after 5pm on the Friday of a Bank Holiday weekend! Did I mention I feel like killing him?

If I'm honest I'm counting the days down until he goes. I love him dearly, will miss him but he really needs to get his act together, and fast.

UrsulaPandress · 25/08/2018 12:23

Same with DD. Woke her this morning to ride before work. She was at the bottom of the second set of stairs when I left. She accidentally went back to bed and fell asleep.

Booked a dressage competition for tomorrow evening. Turns out to be during the day. And the novice test turns out to be on a 60 x 20. Won't be able to practice it now.

Nothing done re bank account and her phone has stopped working.

No sign of passport.

I officially give up.

Original poster
Justanothermile · 25/08/2018 12:33

Just chipping in to say my DS is exactly the same. I'm living on the hope (rather than expectation) that this will change when he gets to university.

I'm still chivvying him to do everything really, frustrates the hell out of me!

OP posts:
Lepetitpiggy · 25/08/2018 12:35

DS is off to Exeter. DH has been buying things likes duvet, pillows, toaster, pans! He's in St Davids and they already seem to have a WhatsApp group organised. I am in so many minds about it. He is our second, but first to go to university so its all new (I went in the distant 1980s) and I will also miss him so much. Its a good 5 hours from where we live...

MollyHuaCha · 25/08/2018 12:38

DS and DD off to (separate) unis here! Neither really that organized. Hmm Both have halls places. So far the purchases have been a strainer, a vegetable knife and a 50p potato peeler between them.

I've just pointed out that if they buy the things whilst still living at home, I'll be paying. Whereas if they wait till they've arrived in halls, they'll be forking out for plates and saucepans themselves.

They're now frantically making lists of essential equipment. Grin

Struckbylightning · 25/08/2018 12:51

Thanks for the thread justanother. My dd is off to Lancaster. Pendle college. We leave overseas so have a fair few extra things we need to be thinking about! It’s scary but I’m so excited for her.

TheThirdOfHerName · 25/08/2018 13:08

She accidentally went back to bed and fell asleep

This made me smile.

JuneMyNameIsJune DS1 forgot/lost his PIN several months ago and just became accustomed to only using contactless and not being able to withdraw cash (rather than phoning the bank to ask for a new PIN). The card was stolen yesterday (has been cancelled) so he can't spend any of that money until a new one arrives, and even then will only be able to make purchases under £30 unless he phones to ask for a new PIN. His new student bank account is with a different bank, and he now has a card and PIN for that (but no money in that account). He won't be able to set up online banking until he buys a new phone (to replace the one that was stolen yesterday). But he can't access his money (see above) to buy the phone.

ShanghaiDiva · 25/08/2018 14:37

Struckbylightning
Where are you overseas? We are in China and Ds is going to Warwick.

Struckbylightning · 25/08/2018 14:51

China!?! That’s amazing. We live in Qatar in the Middle East. We’re in England at the moment on holiday, but term doesn’t start until October the first and my ds has to start back at school we have to go back to Qatar then fly back to bring her to settle in. So fly to London, train to Somerset to collect the ‘stuff’ we’ve been collecting for her uni start then hire a car to drive up to Lancaster. I’m just BOUND to forget something Confused

ShanghaiDiva · 25/08/2018 14:56

My dd is already back at school here in China and ds leaves for the uk on Monday to stay with my mum. I will fly over later in September to help him settle in.
Qatar - your dd will also experience a weather shock in UK! It's 33 here at the moment and ds was shocked to see it was 18 maximum where my mum lives!

TheMamaG · 25/08/2018 15:04

So glad to see this thread! D off to Lincoln on 15/9. Not very organised here but did get the accommodation she wanted.

OhYouBadBadKitten · 25/08/2018 18:33

Some of this may be useful advice for people. Further helpful links at the bottom of the article.
www.welfare.qmul.ac.uk/emotional-wellbeing/advice-parents/

Struckbylightning · 25/08/2018 19:36

ShanghaiDiva I know, my dd says she’s looking forward to cool weather and rain but I fear the novelty will wear off pretty quickly! We have bought her a very good coat...

user1471450935 · 25/08/2018 20:23

TheMamaG
Oh, Ds is off to Lincoln too. He is going into Lincoln Courts, which was his 1st choice, signed up and we paid deposit, no confirmation of flat or arrival date.
We where in Lincoln yesterday, spent 4 hours walking around, reminding ourselves what beautiful city he is moving too.
Also found 3 barbers, Nationwide branch, local Morrison's and Lidl, numerous Tesco and Sainsbury locals, Co-op, pubs etc
DWife loved the shops, may spend many days shopping there

marmiteloversunite · 25/08/2018 20:26

I was in Sainsbury's today and they have lots of household bits on sale which they are advertising as uni deals. Bedding too.

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