2nd year uni (starting 2018)

[HSMMaCM]

The old thread seems to have filled up!

HS, I am so sorry. 2 years is a long time to be living together at this age. I hope she can pull things together to do okay in the exams.

I have not heard from mine other than a few photos, but I think one is back briefly this coming week.

Oh HSM, your poor dd. And what selfish timing on her bf's part. Is she going to have to move accommodation too?

Would she speak to a tutor or counsellor pre-exams if she is struggling?

I'm trying to get her to talk to her tutor. She's been home this weekend. She's going back this week and he's taking a week off work and going home. Who knows what will happen after that. DH and I are trying to shield her from all the practicalities at the moment.

Poor her.

One practicality. By this point various students will be committed to rooms in flats that they no longer want, as they dropped out, got ill etc, and so would probably give a discount to anyone willing to take over the tenancy. Landlords and flatmates would probably agree as someone using the flat is more likely to keep up rent payments.

Ask around and try social media.

But focus on the short term goal of getting through exams first.

Thanks NeedMoreSleep. Yes, we're trying to get her through this week first. I'm hoping he might move in with a work mate. She's stressing about going back to their flat and seeing all his stuff and smelling his smells.

Her mental health isn't robust, so we are worried about her. Just hoping revision can distract her a bit this week, but she's going to struggle.

Is there anyone who can be with her at least part of the week. Either a parent or a sibling go down, or a friend/study buddy move in. Or do any of her friends have a spare room. Alone does not sound good.

I went to DDs University town when she was at her lowest ebb last year. It was surprisingly lovely. She just wanted to be looked after and supported, whilst she waited for her accommodation move. No arguments. Instead she kept thanking me. We did not do much, just ordinary things. But I could feed her, and just be there.

She is happy now so no more such invitations, though we are picking her up and taking her to a football match next weekend. I tried out the Wetherspoons app last night. She texted me her table number, and I ordered random things to be sent to her table. I chose the wrong sort of beer, but other than that it worked really well. Her dad insisted I include a salad.

Those sound like good plans.
Taking over the practicalities for her eg dealing with landlord, finding a room mate if they have a space in the house/flat now will help her.

One of mine has just confiermed he is driving back around 2 tomorrow so that will be nice.

NeedMoreSleep - they do have another student in their spare room, so she's not completely alone. I have her number and she's assured me she'll get in touch if she's concerned. DD told me her flat mate has stripped her bed and washed her sheets, so they don't smell of him.

We are an hour and a half drive away and have told DD we will come any time (this is more important than work). We are taking her back for a class this evening and she might be going to spend the night with a coursemate. We've told her we're spending the evening there and will bring her back home afterwards if needed.

Last time she crashed she shut us out, but she's leaning on us this time, so hopefully we can help her through.

We've been working on eating, drinking and getting washed this weekend.

Just angry about the timing.

And interesting about the Weatherspoons app, I didn't know you could do that.

Yeah. It was brilliant scrolling through their menu and deciding on what treat to send her. Apparently her friends were pleased as well.

You just need to know the name of the pub and table number. The beer arrived within about two minutes. Though unfortunately ‘spoons have stopped serving Jaegerbombs.

HSMMaCM - poor girl, must be such a worry for you. Sounds as though the roommate is a good sort though at least.

Oh HSM, so sorry to hear that- what bad timing too. It sounds like you're being very supportive and at least there's a flatmate there so she's not on her own.

HSM - hope your DD is okay. Please tell her to apply for mitigating circumstances for the exams.

HSMMaCM I hope that your DD is OK. I hope the boyfriend's next poo is a hedgehog (saw it on another thread and just had to use it) as he's such a selfish idiot. Her flatmate sounds lovely.

HS...my dd bf dumped her in final term of Uni after living together for 2 yrs ...just as she was working on her dissertation ....they still had to stay in flat till end of the academic year
She put all her focus on completing the dissertation , spending most of her time in the library or at the student TV office( she was the station manager)and finishing Uni.
fortunately she got a 2:1 which meant she could apply for her MSc miles away from her undergraduate degree...best thing that ever happened to her, although at the time she thought it was the end of the world bf has since come out as transgender

I've told her to speak to student services, but I'm not sure if she will.

Loving the hedgehog poo

I'm hoping she can put all her focus into revision this week.

Just caught up with the thread as we have had a busy weekend hosting an international student.
Sorry to hear about your DD, HSM. As others have said, what selfish timing on his part. Glad she has a friend to keep an eye on her and who will give you the heads up if she's concerned. That gives your DD a chance to manage things herself, but with a safety net if needed.

Other tried and tested treats are chocs from Amazon, or a Just Eat/Deliveroo order. DD ran out of money one term so during the last week was bravely eating her way through a freezer full of batch cooked chili rather than ask for a top up. Never has a pizza been so well received.

DH has been lovingly assembling a shoebox full of gifts to send for DDs birthday - a couple of quite serious books, some Colin the Caterpillars and the rest in various boxes of nice chocolates. He's even wrapped them!

I send the ocassional treat to DS2 to share with his house mates. When I was at college my mum used to send me back with homemade cake after a weekend home. 30 plus years on and the girls I'm still in touch with still ask after her. 😊

Mine is home and his second lot of washing is on. He is staying for 2 nights so that's nice.One exam was bad as one lecturer said study 4 of the 8 topics and you will be fine (which he did) but the other one seems to have set the papers and he wasn't fine (he obviously should have studied all 8). Other exam was easy. Anyway results aren't out yet. I am sure it will be fine and my advice even at A level was learn it all - don't try to guess what will be in the papers.

Good advice Xenia!

Not that anyone listens to me..... he did it with A levels too - spending ages working out what questions usually come up, when they are likely to on the basis of old papers etc (although he did pretty anyway but I still don't think it's wise).

I never could see the point in 'question spotting' ... I think I took the view that the purpose of revision was to make sure I understood everything I'd learned, not just to pass exams.

DS has finished exams - as usual he has failed them all, its all pointless and he will be chucked out!! When he talks to his dad hes usually ok , but I get full brunt of his pessimism - which causes me to worry for weeks about him!

He now has a few video interviews to do, an assessment center and we are going to see him over 1/2 term.