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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

We've survived the first half term - go us! (starting uni 2017)

928 replies

flyingpigsinclover · 26/10/2017 17:29

New thread....we've got to the first half term!

OP posts:
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QOD · 29/10/2017 13:42

The only noise dd complains about is the girl next door who cries LOUDLY after puking everywhere. It’s hard to be sympathetic when she seems to do it every other week. She’s not a well girl and apparently The Uni are deciding if she’s allowed to stay. Kind of hope not for both sakes. She has learning and behavioural needs and is JUST 18. Poor girl could do with a year to grow up. She’s missing her family so much, just struggling and isn’t making friends 🙁

Dd is meeting ex boyfriend for lunch weds so hopefully they can be friends
She seems ok so far, but only had 2 days uni this week lol.

Eve · 29/10/2017 13:44

DS is heading beck, bit of an awkward journey with a few changes, will be xmas when he is back!

He's enjoying his course, gets on well with his flat mates and all seems to be going well. Relief for me!

simbobs · 29/10/2017 16:12

Here was I worrying that my DD's flatmates are a bit quiet (as is she) and don't get up to much, so nothing much to encourage her to leave her room much of the time. Thank goodness for small mercies, though. She would have expired if she had been living in some of the conditions described here!

flyingpigsinclover · 29/10/2017 16:19

simbobs ditto with my DD.

OP posts:
BestIsWest · 29/10/2017 16:25

Didn’t realise there was a new thread. Hello all.

DS is stressed at the moment - a group assignment due in on Tuesday and one or two not pulling their weight. He feels he’s had to supervise every step when it should have been broken into parts. I hasp no idea he was such a control freak, he’s normally very laid back.

HSMMaCM · 29/10/2017 17:07

DD had loads of group work at 6th form. She used to hate it. Hopefully there won't be too much with her current course.

GetAHaircutCarl · 29/10/2017 17:09

I'm realistic about noise and mess in halls but loud music is so ridiculous. Surely everyone in the world has headphones?

We went to see DS on Saturday and had a nice day. He said it was a bit surreal to see us there.

DD stayed over with him. Apparently they went to a party and got back at 5am Grin.

She's dragged herself back to London today. Her RSC thing starts tomorrow so she's sworn to stay in tonight!!

eatyourveg · 29/10/2017 18:52

ds staying at uni for reading week - dh will be in the same city on business next week so will take him out for a meal and give him the giant welsh flag he has requested from home for the upcoming autumn internationals. He has bought his ticket home for xmas and already placed an order for jaffa cake brownies as a welcome home present!Wink

BackforGood · 29/10/2017 19:05

Aw. dd's flatmates clubbed together and bought her a small birthday present. They also got a candle to put in her toast, ( Grin) and sang Happy Birthday to her. Am thrilled for her as I was a bit sad to not see her on her birthday.

TheMightyMing · 29/10/2017 20:16

Back for Good, they sound a lovely bunch. That's so sweet. DS just left with two big bags full of food and clean washing. His pal was home for weekend and is driving them back. In theory he could have stayed longer it being reading week but he's clearly desperate to get back to Uni town, which is good I suppose!

HeadlessHorsemad · 29/10/2017 20:34

What nice flatmates Back. Smile

pippi123 · 29/10/2017 20:38

Time - my DD has moved out of her uni of Liverpool halls room ( after a very short time) and is looking for a non-uni halls student to take over the room. More to do with her being a home bird and us not living far away (plus boyfriend) than anyone playing loud music all night. Are you tied in to your contract or could your DD get out of it if not able to get quiet enjoyment? PM me if you think she might be interested in a move. I hope someone will take it soon before I have to pay the next instalment !

Timetogetup0630 · 29/10/2017 20:48

Pippi messaged you.

TheMightyMing · 29/10/2017 21:02

Pippi my niece did the same at Manchester. The room was bloody awful and flat mates not nice . I think
They managed to relet it.

Blogwoman · 29/10/2017 22:34

Hello all. My DD has been home for the 1st time since starting uni, for her birthday weekend. Lovely to see her but she’s feeling really down about being back there this eve. She is starting to settle but finding the change to uni life hard in lots of ways 😔

QOD · 30/10/2017 07:43

It’s so hard Blogwoman. They have such a massive leap into being grown up aye

Larsitter · 30/10/2017 07:51

I didn't realise group work existed until last year and told them to pick no mobules with it on but my son was saying yesterday it is on a compulsory module and the first group exercise is coming up. However there are just 4 people in the group and they get on and all apparently similar standards and pull their weight so I expect it will be okay in that case but it does feel wrong to me that you might be assessed when someone else might be responsible (mind you that's what happens all the time at work I suppose so not a bad lesson that in life we get blamed for things other people have done regularly).

MorvahRising · 30/10/2017 08:14

Time that’s simply appalling; fingers crossed she can get a transfer soon. Like FlyingPigs and Simbobs my DS would not have survived that sort of hassle. I think it’s a bit of a shame that DS’s flat has so many people who keep entirely to themselves but that is way preferable to what your DD is coping with.

We took DS back yesterday after the weekend and fed him up with a huge pub Sunday lunch on the way. I think his stomach has shrunk as he couldn’t manage a pudding which is unheard-of! It was very reassuring to see how relaxed he was about going back. We took a large box of provisions; hmmm, the kitchen, whilst not as bad as some have mentioned upthread, was a tad messy. I was desperate at least to wipe down the work surfaces, but was forbidden to!

Blogwoman it took me quite a while to settle into university and I well remember the sinking Sunday afternoon feeling when I’d been home for the weekend. It will get better.

Needmoresleep · 30/10/2017 08:19

Blogwoman, I think they are.

DD seems to be getting into the swing, but its still tough. She has been ill, ill enough for the GP to immediately comment that she did not look well and to tell her off for not making an appointment earlier. The GP was apparently not surprised to hear DD was a medic. So antibiotics and possibly something to control the asthma. She had a free day so slept 14 hours, but the next night was a house full for someones pre-drinks (with a lot of smoking) and then her clubber housemate decides to knock on her door at 4.00am for help because she is drunk and vomiting. Same girl then disappears for reading week, leaving vomit all over the bathroom and common parts, for my daughter to clean.

But it is better. The quieter (duller?) ones have got to know each other, and reading week, which the scientists don't get, is a chance for them to work out strategies to impose some reasonable house boundaries. The problem seems to be immaturity and insecurity, and there is a reasonable chance that the offenders will either drop out, grow up, or run out of money. Not least because some seem to have arrived in self catering without knowing how to cook or clean, and takeaways are expensive.

The boys have eked their revenge by setting up a projector in the living room linked to Sky Sport. DD reckons there is hardly a match from anywhere in the world that had not been shown. She does not mind, and talked knowledgeably about the U17s, but the other girls are less happy.

But it is easier now things, and people, are starting to be familiar. She is confident she is on the right course, and at the right place. She is very glad she had a year out, as not only did she gain cleaning skills but it gave her confidence that she could cope when things were tough. The pace of work is likely to ramp up, but this should be manageable if she feels better and can sleep when she needs to.

She is now talking about specialising in emergency medicine. Taking a longer view perhaps she can treat the first half term as work experience.

Needmoresleep · 30/10/2017 08:27

timetogetup, if the landlord and University do not respond, I would phone the Local Council's Environmental Health department and ask about their policy and approach. You could do this anonymously. Explain that it is not just students within the building that are suffering from the management's failure to apply rules, but you understand residents nearby have problems.

My guess is that similar problems will have happened in previous years, and that both the University and Unite will be more responsive if complaints come from the Council. The Council may ask that their 24 hour noise line is called if there is unacceptable noise at night. (Normally after 10.00pm?) They can get their noise officer out who can take readings and perhaps speak to the noise maker directly. And ten present the evidence to the landlord.

GetAHaircutCarl · 30/10/2017 08:49

DD called last night to say that a girl from Birmingham uni who is also doing the RSC placement contacted her offering a room in her flat ( the occupant is away for reading week).

And she was welcome to attend a Halloween party.

That may be nicer than dinner alone in the Premier InnGrin.

MorvahRising · 30/10/2017 09:20

Needmore who has brought these people up to think it’s acceptable to puke everywhere and expect other people to clear it up? I’d be utterly mortified and livid if my DS did something like that. Grrrr. I hope your DD feels better soon.

Needmoresleep · 30/10/2017 10:19

Poor girl can't drink for a week, which includes Halloween where she has a ticket for a big event. She has not had a chance to look at prescription cost exemptions (DSA admin has been challenge enough) so medication cost her £10. Looking on the bright side she says she will save this by not drinking.

rogueantimatter · 30/10/2017 10:45

Getahaircut How brilliant. As you say, much nicer and always good to make contacts.

You can definitely get out of unite contracts if you give enough notice and get someone to agree to transferring your lease into their name. DD found the unite staff quite helpful with this. There will be students who want to move out of their family home, or out of other unsuitable accommodation.

My DS doesn't seem to be drinking to excess, but he has such very late nights. I know by looking at fb messenger Blush Not that I would mention it. He seems to spend a huge amount of time on fb, possibly talking to his gf, who's studying in a scottish uni in a different city from their home city. I think he's enjoying the course but maybe finding being away from home quite hard overall. It's hard to tell with him. Still early days though. He has a diagnosis of slight ASD, which doesn't help, but he never puts it on forms.

He has only had two or three instrument lessons since he started. The conservatoire acknowledges that there can be problems getting teachers to actually spend the required number of hours teaching, as they're so busy performing etc themselves. This week his teacher is away. DS could get a lesson with another teacher, but only if he contacts them. As of last night he hadn't. Probably because of a combination of teenage brain and discomfort talking to people. At this rate he will miss out. Hopefully he will learn for himself that he will miss out if he isn't more organised. Ideally, quickly. I wonder if I should talk to him about this when he's here at the weekend or whether he will just hear nagging.

I hope all the poorly students feel better soon and not quite settled students begin to find a happy way through.

JugglingFromHereToThere · 30/10/2017 10:52

Really interesting that your DS is at a conservatoire rogue as we are wondering about this possibility for DS, currently in Y11. He plays trumpet very well and is involved in a variety of bands and orchestras. Can I ask how did you find the process of applying for a conservatoire place? Is it similar to applying for Uni places? And is funding similar too? I'm hoping it is all reasonably similar and possible for us (DS) but looking for some reassurance from someone who's been through it all before us! Thanks ☺