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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

We've survived the first half term - go us! (starting uni 2017)

928 replies

flyingpigsinclover · 26/10/2017 17:29

New thread....we've got to the first half term!

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Haffdonga · 21/11/2017 19:07

Very well done to BlogDD (and Blog!) for the good grade on that essay. I really hope it helps to build confidence about the next bit of work when it comes along .

Spoke to ds yesterday and it sounds a bit like the work load is finally catching up a bit with him and getting a bit serious plus lots of socialising and loads of football . He and 4 of his (female) flatmates have started house-hunting. They had the awful situation whether or not to share with a very shy and awkward flatmate that nobody actively disliked but who none of them actually felt comfortable with. They finally decided they weren't going to share with him and felt they had to tell him but nobody wanted to do it . DS finally brought the subject up in a general flat chat and managed to suggest to shy flatmate that he should look for a place with his Christian Union friends, telling him at the same time that the 5 are looking for somewhere together. Awkward.

I feel so sorry for the shy flatmate but I suppose it is a very big commitment to share a flat with someone just because you feel sorry for them. Sad

HSMMaCM · 21/11/2017 19:30

DD had an exam today, which was "not awful" Grin

JugglingFromHereToThere · 21/11/2017 20:40

At least they were open about it and also had a sensible suggestion for their shy flatmate Haffdonga - I do hope it works out well for them all.

Groups of Christian students can be quite keen to set up a flatshare together so hopefully that will work out for him.

Although it can be nice if it works out to share with your first year flatmates I guess there are other possibilities, such as course friends, or friends from a society, sport, or some other group. Sometimes it needs some thinking about to get a good group together.

LineysRum · 21/11/2017 21:02

I think that was a very sensible suggestion for the current flatmate to look to share with his Christian Union friends.

HSMMaCM · 21/11/2017 21:27

I agree. That sounds like they have probably given some good advice about sharing with like minded people.

TheMightyMing · 21/11/2017 21:28

I’ve found you again !

simbobs · 21/11/2017 22:37

Think my DD is going to share with 3 girls and a transgender friend...

bigTillyMint · 22/11/2017 07:38

Haff, good on your DS for having that chat - so not easy. And a good suggestion for the shy flatmate who will probably feel much happier with like-minded flatmates.

HSM well done to your DD.

Blog, well done to your DD - that is great that she did well after all that worry. No idea what the situation actually is, but could she not get a diagnosis with the GP at uni, especially as she is already accessing counselling?

DD went to see a flat with current flat-mates yesterday but the living area was too small (they are spoilt with big kitchen/living area in their halls flat) so they are looking for a house for 7 now. She said she accepts that they will have to look probably a 20min walk from the uni!

AshleySilver · 22/11/2017 10:26

DD and her friends found a place they like, so are going ahead with it. Last I heard they would be 4 sharing and would start looking in January. It has turned into 7 sharing and she wants £350 for the deposit now.

She sent me a copy of the rental contract and said 'Look how adult I feel, tenancy agreement and all'.

bigbluebus · 22/11/2017 10:53

I got a rare text from DS last night. It said "can you send me £125 please, i need to pay a deposit on a flat tomorrow".
He's going to share with 3 girls who currently live in his flat in halls. Originally they were looking for a house for all 8 of them but choice was limited and they decided the other boys were too messy! I can only imagine that either they've not seen the inside of DS's bedroom or he has massively changed his ways since he left home! I suspect it's the former!

He's coming home this weekend as it's his birthday - 1st time we'll have seen him since he left in Sept - so we'll find out more then but he'll already have signed so i hope they have read the rental agreement as carefully as he said. He'll no doubt come armed with parental guarantee form to be signed, witnessed and returned all in the space of a weekend.

RedHelenB · 22/11/2017 12:39

Nice to catch up. Puppy been keeping me buse. Can't believe they are already sorting houseshares. Just lent dd1 some money for her deposit. Hers is a 20 min walk from uni too

rightsofwomen · 24/11/2017 09:23

I've dropped off this, sorry.

All fine with my DS.

He's currently sorting out accommodation for the 2nd year and asked me to be a guarantor. Normal I think, and I guess as long as I haven't actually signed anything I am not liable. Right?

simbobs · 24/11/2017 09:33

Watching with interest...

ono40 · 24/11/2017 10:17

DS texted me to say that one of his current flatmates dropped out this week. He said they tried really hard to include her but she spent all her time with her old school friends in other halls. Poor girl, sounds like she was just finding it all a bit too much.

JugglingFromHereToThere · 24/11/2017 11:08

I guess sometimes someone will decide Uni's not for them after all Ono? Maybe difficult or disappointing for them and their families but as long as they are OK that's the most important thing. Sounds like your DS has been a good flatmate/ friend and at least she's found some company in her old school friends whilst she has been there.

There are other options that's always worth remembering.

Needmoresleep · 24/11/2017 11:10

rights, no you are not liable till you sign. However as a landlord I take a pretty dim view of students who turn up wanting keys without the guarantor paperwork in place. Its only happened once, where one boy's mother signed up but the other mother refused to. The agent gave them the keys telling me it was fine. I was appalled. Yes if there had been a problem we could have pursued the guarantor for the whole amount. But that was hardly fair on her. I ended up saying that if both guarantors had not signed as promised, I would use the six month contract break clause.

Both boys were lovely, as was the flat, which I don't normally let to students. Bottom line is that if parents don't trust their children enough to act as guarantors, I don't see why I as a landlord should.

That said I completely get the issues with students who cannot find guarantors or struggle with getting the money together for a deposit. It can be a real problem. My flat is slightly away from the University so student tenants need cars. The current overseas students and their friends are bemusing neighbours by driving expensive sports cars, though are polite and seem to study hard.

When people are talking about "deposits" up thread, are you sure you are not talking about "holding deposits" to the agency to secure the property, rather than the protected deposit, normally one month's rent, that landlords will almost certainly require before keys are handed over. At the moment it is also legal for agents to charge tenants for drawing up agreements, taking references etc, though this will change next year.

The girl DD is most likely to share with has been invited to join another group from her course, but is not sure. DD is sitting back waiting to see what happens. She is optimistic that a place will turn up somewhere, either via sports or course friends. And if not she can look at studio/private hall options. Though her flat has calmed down a lot, she wants to avoid the problems faced at the start of the term.

AshleySilver · 24/11/2017 11:52

Good point about the holding deposits, Needmoresleep. Part of the money I gave to dd was for a non-refundable admin fee charged by the estate agents.

Needmoresleep · 24/11/2017 12:34

Another tip. Take photos of your Rail card and EHIC card and store them on your phone. Should you then ever need either but find you don't have the card itself, you have the number, and every chance that the person needing to see it will be satisfied.

(Guess who got to the station last week without my rail card - kind Inspector allowed me to get my son to text a photo of it to me. Same photo worked for the return journey. Ditto have spent much of the morning hunting for DDs EHIC card. So much easier if we had a record of the number - and even more useful if she lost it whilst overseas.)

HSMMaCM · 24/11/2017 12:47

Need more sleep we've always taken photocopies of our passports on holiday since my mum lost hers, but the ehic card is a good idea too.

simbobs · 25/11/2017 11:54

My DD is going to see a flat today but has so far only found one to view. It is a 5 way share but they only met one of the people last week; bit worrying. I have told her not to expect to find anything as nice as the student accommodation that she has now, but hope they find something less appalling than where I lived.

HSMMaCM · 25/11/2017 18:50

I warned my DD that her student accommodation is probably nicer than any house share she'll get next year.

She's working on a group project with people who are leaving her to do all the work and her tutor has given her permission to work alone.

Horsemad · 25/11/2017 18:57

Mine's going back into halls. He's made friends, but prefers an en suite!

bigTillyMint · 25/11/2017 19:08

Apparently DD rang DH re deosit and EA fees - is it usual for them to pay EA fees as well as deposit? Theres 7 of them and she said £240 each ShockShockShock

Horsemad · 25/11/2017 19:26

The whole student renting thing is a bit of a rip off bTM, so yes, that sounds feasible.

Mamia15 · 25/11/2017 19:37

Actually I was gobsmacked to see how student rental properties are stunning - new bathroom suites, refitted kitchens with washing machines etc, large nicely furnished lounges and double bedrooms etc. Nothing like the grim student houses in my time - and way better as well as cheaper than my dc current student accommodation which is tiny.

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