We've survived the first half term - go us! (starting uni 2017)

[flyingpigsinclover]

New thread....we've got to the first half term!

The wrong counsellor can sometimes be worse than none at all. Hopefully she'll get some more useful support.

Blog, what is the issue with your daughter? ( I haven't read back across the thread). Is it the wrong course for her?

blog So sorry that she had a bad experience with the student counsellor. What on earth did they say to make her feel angry?

At this point, maybe just a few days at home to talk things through with family members instead, where she feels "safe" and more relaxed, might be beneficial...?

Oh crap, blog. That’s really bad news. One of those times where you wish there were crystal balls and you could both know if whatever decision is made is the right one.

Thanks all. Wrong counsellor definitely worse than none and she feels they've left her in a worse place. She was clear with them that the course and work wasn't the issue, but the counsellor seems to have jumped to conclusions, didn't ask questions, laughed at her, and said uni isn't for everyone and she might be better getting a job/travelling... She's clear she needs to find a way to improve her mental health, but isn't in the mood just now for seeking a different counsellor. She's trying to decide whether to come home to regroup or stay put. Meanwhile, there's an assignment due soon and all this is really disrupting her ability to function. She's put in a complaint to student services.

Are you far from her blog?
Could you visit or she could come home for a long weekend?

I'm sorry for you both that the counselling was so crap. Didn't ask questions? Wondering how that went then?!

I am so sorry, poor her. So it is not the university, work, other people. It's her own mental health. Did she have help before she left home she could come home to access?

Not needed help for a couple of years 1mother so nothing 'on tap' as it were. Resources are so stretched, of course. She's about 4 hours away by train (we haven't got a car) so home is accessible if not 'popping in' distance.

Can you make a plan to meet up with her over the weekend Blog?
Either you to her, or her to you.
That's what I'd do, it's so hard to know how they are otherwise.

Juggling it's tricky as she has a schoolfriend due to come to her this weekend - not feeling in the mood for it but friend has her tickets booked; I'm hoping it might be good for her to have her friend's company, I'm planning a visit the following weekend. I've assured her she can just come home any time if she needs to.

That sounds good Blog. Hopefully she can talk things through a bit with her friend.

You could also call the uni and find out what her options are. Unis tend not to discuss specific situations with parents, but they will talk to you in a general way.

Many unis will keep a place open if a student is struggling and needs time out. It's amazing what time, maturity and a bit of work experience can do for anxiety (if that's what your DD is struggling with). It's more common than you would think.

Hopefully the friend's visit will help then. it is a very difficult stage of life being a teenager and not easy for a lot of them.

(Just forced picture of son in first dinner jacket out of him.... which came tonight - not many taken he said because he was helping out at their formal dinner as he's some kind of officer/JCR person - actually equalities officer ( well done boy, son of a lifelong feminist.....). He looks very happy on said black and white photo and the delayed post to his brother has arrived too including all the candy kittens sweet stocks he had left at home which are apparently going down very well (not what I like to hear as I am very anti sugar but there you are... I don't have it and I don't drink alcohol, right bundle of fun I am, no wonder they are enjoying university so much).

Thanks. DD has had an email in response to her complaint about the counsellor, from his manager, saying all the right things and offering her an appointment to see her tomorrow. Really hope she'll take this up and will find it helpful.

Oh gosh, just catching up. Fingers crossed for your DD Blogwoman - MH issues are such a worry.

That's encouraging Blog; fingers crossed it gets sorted to your DD's satisfaction.

Blog hopefully they'll listen this time. Good for her letting them know how she felt.

DD's just booked her coach ticket home for Christmas - only 5 weeks to go! I will be counting down the days

Dd1 coming home Sat for her little brothers birthday weekend - I can't wait I'm really missing her! She s had her first exam and reckons they make it hard to frighten them into revision!

Hopefully the new counsellor will be good, blog. Laughing at her? Wtaf??
How can someone who does that get such a job?

I know it was a long time ago but I once saw a NHS counsellor after an assault and as I was telling her what happened she took a private call from her son, on her landline, so all arranged, to talk about him passing his driving test. Nice little chat they had. I just clammed up and then left when our time was up a few minutes later.

So yes I believe some counsellors are arseholes.

lineys that’s awful I had a long chat with DD today & she was better than yesterday & finding some support among new friends. Really hope the senior counsellor tomorrow is everything we’d hope. She did well in a test today so that was a boost.

Thanks, Blog, and you know what, your DD does sound like she's getting it all together about this. She's turning things around in a very effective way. And you're there for her, she knows that. Maybe anger is sometimes ok.

My DS will be at his Poker Soc. I never thought that's something I'd write without invoking the history of an unfortunate English king.

Ha liney yes poor old Edward II! And thank you - I’m feeling more hopeful today. And breathe...

You've got friends here, Blog.

DS lost his fiver but that's not bad for an evening out.

They'll be home for Christmas in a month! DS needs to do 'good works' for his CV apparently.