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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

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Original poster

How often do you see your student every term?

38 replies

FleaRiddenScruffBag · 27/08/2017 16:21

My student is going to university about 2 hours away with good transport. How often do you see yours, and where, or is it strictly Christmas and Easter?

OP posts:

MissMillament · 27/08/2017 16:25

My DD1 is three hours away. Going into final year. Strictly Christmas and Easter since the beginning. I would be worried that she hadn't settled if she came home more often.

Janika · 27/08/2017 16:26

4 hours away no half term will see him at Christmas 😕

PUGaLUGS · 27/08/2017 16:35

Don't see him much, he is about 1hr 30 mins drive away or an hour on the train.

He is going into his third year.

Didn't seem him at all this Easter.

If we do see him, we usually go up there and take some home cooked food for his freezer, take him out for lunch and to the cinema if there is something on he wants to watch.

He was super lucky and in his first year got great flat mates 4 plus him, they moved into a house together (plus 3 extra) for the second year and five of them moved from the house back to uni accommodation in July (doing a summer let but will have the same accommodation when the term starts in Sept). They do loads of things together.

RedHelenB · 27/08/2017 16:42

Dd similar distance and first term coming back twice but after that maybe just for mother day/my birthday.

Bluntness100 · 27/08/2017 16:45

Abòut four hours away. Usually during holidays and she does two or three weekends as well. Train down on a Friday and back on the sun.

suzisso · 27/08/2017 16:51

Completely different for my two DS. DS1 home a lot- hour in the car or bit longer on train. His Uni seemed to empty out at weekends. He came home a lot to work at his job st home. And with no tumble dryer to do his laundry. DS2 is 5 hours away and does a sport at an elite level. He is already there. Home for a week at Christmas and a day and a half at Easter due to training. Miss DS two desperately but no time to miss DS1....

blueskyinmarch · 27/08/2017 17:10

My DD2 is heading into second year. Last year she came home once before Christmas then she came home for Christmas and Easter. Once the year was finished she came home for around 2 weeks and then went to the US to work. She has two days at home in September before she heads back. She is 350 miles away from us at uni. Suffice to say we haven't seen much of her at all! She is also terrible at messaging. Anyone would think she was having a good time out there in the world!

MadameJosephine · 27/08/2017 17:14

3 hour train journey away, he came home at Christmas and Easter and we popped down to London to see him once on his sister's birthday in November

ErrolTheDragon · 27/08/2017 17:24

Mine will be off soon - she was astonished at some of her friends talking about coming back for weekends. I might be having to do a training course at our head office which happens to be in the same town in October, I think I might be allowed to pop in for a coffee and drop off anything she's forgotten.

SauvignonBlanche · 27/08/2017 17:27

Every 3 weeks, I know I'm lucky.

Herefortheduration · 27/08/2017 17:45

I wouldn't expect to see them till Christmas and then probably summer, maybe Easter some years. I would expect phone calls to be regular, week on week.

You're so lucky nowadays as social media allows much more interaction.

ItBroke · 27/08/2017 18:31

I didn't see any of mine during their first term and generally just see them during the holidays and sometimes during reading weeks - if they have them and if it suits their revision.

They see each other a lot which is nice.

I dont see anything wrong with them coming home more often if it suits them. 🤷🏻‍♀️

mirage937 · 27/08/2017 18:33

One dd has a car and her uni is about 1h away she works at uni but comes home for the day or night every few weeks or so, or to meet with her friends back home who don't go to uni and work full time. Sometimes If I am working near her I will pop in and see her. Her friends and bf vary in some going home to work every weekend to others not going home much at all

Other dd at uni 2hours by car but she doesn't drive and it's at least 3 hours on public transport, in first year she came home every 3-4 weeks for the weekend and for her reading weeks, Xmas break and a week at Easter. Her halls were very quiet at weekends and holidays.

I think it depends massively on the DC and if they are working, have society stuff, how busy or quiet halls are on weekends and even the cost and ease going home.

DC have friends who go home often because there bf/gf is at home others don't go home except in the holidays

QuitMoaning · 27/08/2017 18:38

1.5 hours away by car, about 3 by train as no direct route so have to go in to London and out again.
Saw him at Christmas and Easter and two other occasions. Once I went to him for the day, the other he came home for weekend for family event.

Can be persuaded to FaceTime about once a fortnight and does still text me random stuff and silly updates.

ImperialBlether · 27/08/2017 18:40

When I was at university in the 80s everyone would just go home for Christmas and Easter. When my children went not long ago I realised I needed to see them more than that, so I decided to visit them rather than expect them to come home. They were about 1.5 hour drive away, so I'd drive there and take them out for something to eat, or take them to the supermarket or take them something cooked and stay for an hour or so. It meant they were still independent but I could see the whites of their eyes and make sure they were okay.

scaryteacher · 27/08/2017 19:32

Holidays, unless I was in UK and stopped for a pee and a tea en route to the West Country. I did insist, as I will for the forthcoming MA year, that proof of life is supplied a couple of times a month in the form of an email or phone call, so that the allowance gets paid.

AtiaoftheJulii · 27/08/2017 19:33

Dd1 is quite nearby, and Dh works in her city, so we see her a fair amount, but usually only briefly!

Dd2 is 5 hours away - her first term I went up for a weekend (it felt like a very long term, and I didn't know her city at all, so it was lovely to just have a wander and get to know it), and then in her second term she came home for a weekend to take dd3 to a gig .

We all chat online a lot though

TeenTimesTwo · 27/08/2017 19:39

30 years ago I was at university 1.5hrs ish from home. DB was there too doing his degree and then PhD. My parents came up once a term and took us out for lunch.
40 years ago, my now DH went home every weekend (to see his girlfriend and get his washing done). he admits he missed out a lot by doing that.

Stopyourhavering · 27/08/2017 22:24

Ds will be a 7 hr train journey away, so he won't be coming home until Christmas, however we may be able to visit to combine some Christmas shopping
Dd1 was at same uni and only saw her at end of term too!
dd2 was at a uni 2 hrs away and came home about 3 times in first term to see bf , by second year she only came home once during each term as had settled into a better social/ studying balance

Original poster

FleaRiddenScruffBag · 28/08/2017 07:23

Me neither ItBroke - don't entirely understand this belief that you have to have such an abrupt end to things. I am hoping that I will see my dd once a term - certainly in her first year, though I absolutely accept that it will be her choice.

OP posts:

Original poster

FleaRiddenScruffBag · 28/08/2017 07:24

Yes ImperialLeather - that's entirely it.

OP posts:

Original poster

FleaRiddenScruffBag · 28/08/2017 07:24

Blether not Leather - oops!

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GetAHaircutCarl · 28/08/2017 08:53

DS has already arranged to see DH during his first term to go and see a footie match ( tickets had to be booked in advance plus accommodation).

DD will be studying and living in London where DH and I work and live part of the time so we can easily meet her for coffee/lunch/dinner whenever she wants.

cathyandclare · 28/08/2017 09:02

DD is going onto her final year and doesn't ever come home in term-time and is very often busy doing uni extra curricular stuff for much of the holidays too, so we don't see her loads. But she's in lots of productions so I tend to pop down and see her in those (most parents do, I think) usually 3 times a term. We meet up for a drink or a bite to eat after the show, or go for a quick coffee the next morning. I hope it's enough to feel in touch, without being overbearing. She had a few MH issues in the first year, so I like to reassure myself that she's OK.

hellsbells99 · 28/08/2017 09:57

My two come home every 2 or 3 weeks, but often just for a night. They miss each other and their pets. It is always lovely to see them.

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