Personal Statements

[whateveryousay]

Am I the only person drafting their child's personal statement?

Please tell me I'm not alone.

I did most of my younger sister's for her. My reasoning was that most people have help from their parents. Our parents both left school in their early teens (non-UK) and weren't confident with anything to do with higher education. I hadn't gone to university myself but I knew I was good at that sort of writing, and I wanted her to succeed.

I also proofread coursework and job applications for my younger siblings, and made suggestions. I don't know why anyone wouldn't, if asked to do so. They're all in their twenties now and I haven't been asked to help with anything in a long time, so it clearly didn't make them dependent on me forever!

I helped to edit DS statement to get it within the word count. Staff at school also tinkered. His was a course with no interviews do this was all he had to go on, no wat going to leave it without review! I've also helped some young people who are the first in their family and/or don't have family around them to do their statements. The character count alone makes it very difficult so why not give help to jump through that particular hoop

Please don't do this! (Admissions Tutor, Russell Group, done Oxbridge admissions.) If your DS has an interview, and hasn't written his own personal statement, he will be up the proverbial creek without the proverbial paddle. All academic interview questions are based on the personal statement, and if he hasn't written it, that will be game, set, and match.

If absolutely necessary, get him to write everything he wants to say in detailed bullet points, and help him put it into prose. But he needs to fully own the statement and the process of writing it.

Please don't disadvantage him in this way!

Some people (my DS1) included find it very difficult to express themselves on paper but are brilliant verbal communicators. I've just helped DS with an application form for a part time job. He could articulate to me perfectly why he should get the job, but finds it hard to write it down. I've no doubt he'll excel at the interview but without some support he probably wouldn't get selected.

I'm pretty sure that like the OP I'll be drafting his University application next war as well. We all need a leg up sometimes.

If your DS has an interview

For maths, Oxbridge interview. Imperial interviews some students, I think. Warwick is comparable to these but doesn't interview. Pretty much nobody else interviews. The PS will be read in most places but won't play much of a role for this subject.

I agree with other posters that it's not the personal statement itself that's the issue really - once he gets to university, he will have to write emails, reports etc. He needs to learn how to do this by himself.

Both my dcs wrote their own PS.

Then I checked and edited heavily.
Then their teachers of relevant subjects checked and edited.
Then their form tutor checked and edited.
Then their school student manager checked and edited.
Then ds2's work experience manager (in relevant career area) checked and edited.
Then dcs proof read.
Then I proof read.
Then they pressed send.

This was the normal process in their bog standard comprehensive school. It is crazy to suggest that students should write their PS without help and advice. That's just putting them at a disadvantage compared to all the other applicants.

Between my dcs they had 8 interviews. Only once did they get asked a single question about what their PS said.

I helped my DS with his PS. I cannot understand why anyone would think this was a problem. My view is I will give all the help I possibly can to both my DCs in everything they do, for as long as I can. My DS had 2 interviews, one at Imperial and one at Cambridge. He wasn't asked anything about the PS in either interview although he was fully prepared to talk about it. He got offers from both.

Btw when my DD was applying for Summer Internships, I helped her with the application forms as well. They are a huge amount of work and it really helped her. She still had to do all the online tests and interviews herself.

An engaged parent can make a huge difference to the outcome of DCs.

Am I the only person drafting their child's personal statement?
The points being made are that the child should draft their own statement first, not that they shouldn't get any help or support with editing and revising it afterwards.

It's exactly that Slightly. These are young adults taking steps towards independence. In order to do this confidently, they need to know that the work is their own. Yes, acting as an editor is fine, famous authors have editors! But drafting it for them is not doing them any favours when they get there - you are telling them they can't do this themselves.

I completely agree that drafting it for them is not doing them any favours in the long run.

The process of struggling with something difficult, tying yourself in knots, persevering and completing the task is a learning experience in itself.

It is amazing how much they grow up between the ages of 17 and 21. Some MN DC are clearly competent adults aged 17, but many more are trainees.

It is not surprising they need support and mentoring. If a neighbour was struggling with a job application after a career break and asked for help, you would probably read through, probe her on what she wanted to convey, suggest ways the application could be strengthened, and so on. You would not write it for her, as this would not help when she got to interview.

Ditto with DC. DS asked me for advice when he joined a flat share in his second year, and I read through the contract, plus provided him with a draft email to the agent asking for a replacement mattress. (The student let had been going on for at least a decade - they even had a Betamax recorder on the inventory. The mattress was awful. The polite email was effective - and another learning opportunity.) By his third year he was lead tenant dealing with the agent on a variety of issues, plus writing his own Masters applications which we did not see, nor expect to see.

I think it is right to offer -not force- advice. We all face circumstances where help from someone with previous experience can be valuable. Indeed learning to ask for help is a life skill in itself.

sounds like many of us are on the same page with this.

If absolutely necessary, get him to write everything he wants to say in detailed bullet points, and help him put it into prose. But he needs to fully own the statement and the process of writing it
I gathered that's what most mums meant when they mention helping their kid rather than writing it all with the DC only reading the final product.

DD has already jotted down the key points and done a first draft. She's got plenty to write about and she'd got the format right, but her style really doesn't sell her well. She hates the idea of 'boasting' and because she's always been at the top of her classes in average schools, she has learnt to downgrade her aptitude to be seen also a fun and nice person. She feels awkward talking about herself.

Her PS reflects this. It's written in a 'I've done this but it's really no bog deal so no need to expand to tell more about it' style. I am trying to speak to her to make her see that her approach at school was correct and led her to be popular amongst her fellow pupils and teachers, but now is time to differentiate herself and put her academic skills to good use.

It's a big transition from teenagehood to adult adulthood and it seems only fair as a parent to help them through this process.

And this is why so many Universities now don't even bother reading them !!

"And this is why so many Universities now don't even bother reading them"

I don't think this is true at all. Many Universities/courses are not selecting but recruiting. They are happy to make offers to anyone with the right predicted grades. In these circumstances the PS may not matter. In contrast some courses have many more qualified applicants than places. They need to select somehow. The PS can then be very important, especially if applicants are not asked to undertake additional tests like STEP or UKCAT, and/or the University does not interview.

I've just sat through 6 Medical school admissions talks. 4 of whom quite categorically stated they don't read the PS. Because so many are written by parents and professional companies. And a friend was at Bristol for Law and they said the same thing Universities know they are not written by 17 year olds if they sound like they are written by 47 year olds.

Actually Bristol Med school based their offer 70% on PS. In the end, whether written by a professional/parent/applicant, they still need to be factual and the applicant still needs to impress at interview.

Not that different to parents doing kids' homework, there comes a time when what is written needs to be substantiated.

Bristol Med school do. I said Law though 😁

Oh and teachers know if a parent has written the homework. In class the child produces 4 lines of scribble but miraculously produces 2 pages of beautiful prose for homework. You'll be surprised that teachers can spot that !! I used to love the creations at infants school that some of the 5 year olds could produce - once saw a fully working castle brought into school. Mine had a cereal box with pasta stuck on it 😂😂

For what it is worth , when DS wrote his PS ( History Oxford - so not quite the same as those doing e.g. medicine etc I understand) - he just sat down and rattled off a few paragraphs , which began ( pretty much) "I like History because ..." - and then said why he liked history and bits which interested him. Short ( 2 or 3 lines) ending the thing with something he did extra curricular which was relevant. I think the PS is not necessarily the be all and end all , but for how long it should take to write 3 or 4 paragraphs it's worth spending a bit of time on , whether it gets read or not. Where's the downside? DH read through DS's to make sure it came across to someone reasonably , but no more. I do think if someone wants to do a degree course they should be able to give putting down their reasons for studying a decent shot, even if they get others to read through it later.

Totally agree. It should be written as well as the student can. Emphasis being on the student ! And agree it should be oroff read by parents and tutors. Just not written by them 😂. Nottingham said they were fed up of seeing professionally written ones so they stopped using it. Shame but can understand why.

"Proof" read 😳

You've got to feel sorry for the admissions staff - they clearly can't rely on students getting masses of help with their personal statements and they certainly can't rely on predicted grades as they are so ridiculously inaccurate.

Which is why we need to completely change the system and get Students to apply AFTER they have received their grades. It would be much fairer and simpler. I know lots disagree though.

I agree Articu. Both as a parent and as a teacher who has to write lots of references every year. Unis do look at these v carefully and especially are keen on attendance data as it is the most reliable information they get given !!! Liverpool Uni actually said they'd except predictions of AAB as they realised some schools are less likely to over predict and this could disadvantage kids who go to schools where teachers are not swayed to up grades. Last year I had a parent make a formal complaint against me as I would not predict an A for their lovely sweet child - who had got Ds all year and not done a scrap of work. He got a D in the end - as I predicted,

I agree Articu, this whole situation is utterly ludicrous. It's needlessly stressful, requires a stupid guessing game of where you should apply to and often requires an undignified scramble at the end anyway.