It appears that DS has, in spite of a loan and our paying his rent at uni, is OD by about 2k - the limit on his account. He has very clearly been spending a lot, largley on socialising, over the past term. Last year, his first, he didn't budget either but at least his account then didn't have an overdraft facility.
I don't know what to do. He's been so cagey about his finances, won't talk at all - in fact, he seems altogether pretty withdrawn. Goes out for long walks at night (he's out now) with barely a word and largely only speaks to me to ask me about food. All quite depressing. We suspect he's fully aware that he's overspent but somehow he's got into a horrible spiral and can't understand that the first step towards disintangling himself is to set himself a budget. He does't work in the term or holidays - another sore point but he doesn't.
His loan for next term will come in soon no doubt - and he's hoping it's soon so he can go back to the uni town for New Year. He didn't like most of his Christmas presents so I've said I'll take them back and put the money into his account. But with a 2 k overdraft and expensive tastes (pricey hairdressers, buys quite a lot of clothes, goes out a lot - ), whatever I give him will be a drop in the ocean. I wish he didn't have an account with an OD (one of those student incentives it was) because then he'd have had to cope with his loan. Last year, we bailed him out a lot but this year, we determined not to quite so much (aside from the rent), hoping that he'd learn to live on the loan alone. It's not ungenerous, so it could have been done (especially if he'd got a pt job).
Do I have it out with him - the thought makes me exhausted and all my overtures re money haven't had any effect so far - just met with disinterest, exasperation on his part and even, sometimes, rudeness. Any thoughts would be welcome! Anyone else, incidentally, had a Christmas when their uni DCs have barely engaged with family life? Unlike their pre-university selves?