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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Uni Freshers parents 2016?

999 replies

granarybeck · 21/08/2016 22:23

hi

I've just been reading recent threads on weekly living costs and what to take to uni and found loads of useful info. I'm certainly finding that there was so much focus on getting the results/not tempting fate that it all feels a bit of a panic now. I have a dd going to warwick and a ds going to bath.

Wondered if there is already a thread for other general tips for those with dd/s starting uni this September?

OP posts:
homebythesea · 01/10/2016 15:54

nohaudin love the name!!

We don't qualify for anything and we are funding the whole shebang. I don't begrudge this btw, we can afford it and prefer to do it this way rather than claim resources that can be better applied elsewhere (that sounds v wanky and po-faced I know but don't know how to express it another way 😀)

SallyuptheSwanee · 01/10/2016 16:05

HellsBells99 can I ask did your DD transfer to a different uni? This is what my DD is think of doing after just 3 weeks. She hasn't found the social life she expected, she has nothing in common with her hall mates and finds them immature. The course is okay, but she thinks she'll be happier at her 2nd choice uni where a couple of her close school friends and other people she knows are. I prefer this city too its closer to home and just more interesting BUT I do think where she is has a better course and better facilities. She is handling it well has an appointment with her tutor and is visting the other uni. I just can't help feeling this is far to soon and she will make friends through the course or clubs. If she can't transfer into year it will be costly too. Any advice, views?

EllenJanethickerknickers · 01/10/2016 16:33

Sorry to hear that Sally. I don't really have advice but I guess if she is really unhappy, moving sooner rather than later may be easier.

We have the car packed to the roof here. Just have some fridge items and his laptop to go tomorrow. Except we both keep remembering things! Last thing to go in was his mattress topper which had been 'stored' on his bed for the last month or so.

Supermarket shop today for last minute items and blutak! He's got a box of Celebrations to share as I'm too tired to bake. It's his birthday in a week so he has some presents wrapped up as well. We are out for a farewell curry tonight.

I'm trying to persuade all 3 DSs to pose for a photo tomorrow. They have all become very reluctant to have their photo taken but I want one last one of the 3 together on my doorstep to match the old, 'first day at school' ones. I have promised not to post it on FB!

SecretSaffron · 01/10/2016 16:37

hello all, can I joint you... a bit late! I have been lurking, and we have just got home form dropping DS1 off at Cambridge. He is super excited. Drop off all went very well, room is lovely and he was keen to get rid of me and dh asap to get on with his new life....as it should be!
I had a little weep on the way home....and a bit more weeping when I got in. I've just started dinner for other dc and had to stop myself putting on large amounts for ds1...made me a bit teary.
may treat myself to Wine in a bit. Anyone else dropping off this weekend? How are you holding up?

NoahVale · 01/10/2016 17:06

have to resist ringing DD.
she texts me frequently, just about certain things. I am pretty confident she is doing well.
I sent her package via ebay which hasnt arrived Sad

MyVisionsComeFromSoup · 01/10/2016 17:19

DD2 had been doing quite a lot of our food shopping and cooking before she went off to uni (I'm not too well atm), and when she got back from Aldi yesterday, realised that she'd bought four people's worth of food Grin. Last night was spent batch cooking for the freezer Wink

Squirrills · 01/10/2016 17:28

Welcome Secret.
I'm finding it hard. The house is so empty with both DC gone.
I cannot believe how little I have spent on food. Two teenage boys eat the equivalent of four adults so my food bill seems likely to be about one third of before.
The bathroom is immaculate. The washing machine is bored. There is no loud thumping bass vibrating through the house. In theory all of these are benefits but it doesn't feel like it.

Best of luck tomorrow Ellen. I do hope you get that photo Wink

Naughtytummy · 01/10/2016 17:43

DS2 all dropped off. Had a hug with him, held it together as his corridor mentors were rounding them up for games.
We are heading to our overnight stop feeling all a bit surreal at the moment.

SecretSaffron · 01/10/2016 17:55

squirrells it must be hard with both dc gone. DS1 was my eldest of 6 dc, so I've still got 5 to distract me!! Cant imagine how bad I will be when the youngest flies the nest!!
Flowers naughty Hope it doesn't hit you too hard.
noah I want to ring ds already!! I want to know if he's made any friends, what he had for lunch, if he's unpacked, what he's doing tonight.....I will resist though!!

and yes...food! I think my food bill will reduce dramatically! I am letting dc eat in front of the TV tonight...mostly because I can't face sitting up to the dining room table with ds1 space empty Sad

angieloumc · 01/10/2016 18:10

I've just got home from dropping DS3 off at Lancaster, held it together and only had a little weep while hugging him goodbye but cried when I got home and saw his empty room. DS1 brought DD home so going to spend the night cuddled up with her.
On the plus side his room is lovely, very clean and his hall mates look like very nice boys, there were 2 others and 5 more due.
Good luck to anyone else missing their DC's tonight, virtual hugs from me.

lin4 · 01/10/2016 18:23

Just home after Warwick drop off. Hellish weather made journey difficult -stopped me from thinking too much because I had to concentrate so no tears yet. It was all very quiet and we didn't bump in to many other students. Could have done with some help unloading - thought there would be student helpers.

BennyTheBall · 01/10/2016 18:30

Thinking of those of you back this evening from drop off.

This was me last Saturday evening. I cried in ds bedroom when I got back.

A week is a long time - I feel much better now and more used to it.

Coconutty · 01/10/2016 18:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

millefeuille1 · 01/10/2016 18:43

The empty bedroom is a killer, isn't it? Especially the few forlorn items left hanging in the wardrobe they didn't want to take. Wine to everyone missing their offspring tonight.

lovelybangers · 01/10/2016 18:49

angie my DS is going to Lancaster.

He is going tomorrow. Are the moving in days staggered or are we late Hmm

Packing is going well

I will Def feel his absence as he is the only one. :(

granarybeck · 01/10/2016 18:53

Just on way home from dropping DD at Warwick. DS has done his first week in Bath. Dh and I just stopped off for a drink to mark the occasion, all feels a bit surreal!

lin4 which halls is your DS in? My DD is in tocil, it was all quite chaotic around there, it took Dh an hour to move the car to a car park after unloading! But it all worked out in the end. Good luck to the final drop offs tomorrow xx

OP posts:
Ta1kinpeece · 01/10/2016 18:57

I admit I'm coping just fine without DD here. Her cat isn't though.
We have texted and FB messaged a bit - have agreed to phone her tomorrow.
But I know she's having an utterly amazing time (some of the pics on FB in the Freshers groups are hysterical)
and my job as a parent is to get her to be self reliant.

SueDunome · 01/10/2016 19:03

ds has been gone a week. Surprisingly, I've had no tears although I had plenty the week before he left. I think that, having seen his room and amazing facilities in his halls, I felt a lot better and therefore not worried. I'm missing him, of course, but have had plentry of messages including one today saying he's missing home cooked food 😊 He cam cook though, he'd been practising all summer, and I know he's eating but nice to know he's missing our food.

lin4 · 01/10/2016 19:14

Granary - He is in Sherbourne. It was quite late when we arrived ( 2'ish) so maybe we missed the rush. Tocil is the one that I would have picked as it's nearest psychology.
Feeling very strange here as DC is our only one.

granarybeck · 01/10/2016 19:19

lin4 my DD didn't want Tocil, but it was much nicer than she'd imagined. She's doing psychology so sounds like will be convenient, don't know if she'd realised that. We're not home yet so haven't had to find out how it feels at home just yet. We're going out later so hopefully that will be a good distraction.

OP posts:
angieloumc · 01/10/2016 19:42

lovelybangers it is staggered, four colleges today and four tomorrow, the second year students helping out are very nice, so do think that helped my son. Which college is your DS in and what is he studying? Mine is Cartmel and Philosophy.
I feel for you, him being your only one, my DS1 & 2 have already left home but didn't go to uni so it does feel different.
The rooms there are lovely and fairly spacious, I didn't think we'd get everything in but we did. Good luck tomorrow.

BethanKate · 01/10/2016 19:43

Got back late on Weds from two week holiday visiting family in Ireland & Wales then had two chaotic days getting ready for Warwick drop off today. Apart from awful weather all went well & he really likes his room. Even though he's done plenty of cooking at home we exchanged 29 texts about how to cook pasta & ready-made sauce & how to wash up (!). I was ok until I got home - even though I was texting him at the time I burst into tears as I walked through the door. He's only child so it seems very quiet without him.

Thinking of others who dropped off today or are dropping off tomorrow. Hope you have better weather.

Teenagedream · 01/10/2016 19:49

Feel quite worried about DS. He's at Cardiff Uni. Hasn't done anything today. He's joined Socs but nothing seems to be on at the weekend. His hall mates are friendly but don't seem to want to go out. Run out of things to suggest. He's remaining positive and hoping things will improve but I am worried in case they don't.

dreamingofsun · 01/10/2016 19:54

teenage - its still early days yet. none of my kids have made many friends from their flats. my youngest - just started has gone out with loads of people but not settled yet. don't panic yet

BethanKate · 01/10/2016 19:55

Just to mention - DS was looking at topping up basic insurance provided by uni to cover his phone & computer for accidental damage etc. - realised would be £9 a month which works out quite a lot over four years. I thought of phoning our insurance company to see if it would be covered by our house insurance & they said yes it would. It seems that even if your house insurance doesn't cover for students at uni it may be cheaper to pay to get it added on than for student insurance company top ups.

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