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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

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Original poster

How involved are you?

39 replies

Sturmundcalm · 07/08/2016 17:44

DD will be doing uni applications this yr (although probably won't go for 2 years) and we do talk quite a bit about her plans but I do very little... Partly cause she's looking at options that are beyond my experience and partly because she's v keen on going abroad and I think if that's her hope then she really needs to be v independent.

Am I leaving her to it a bit too much though?? Don't want to disadvantage her by not getting involved!! She is v driven and does seem to be on top of it all.

OP posts:

bojorojo · 09/08/2016 15:33

Be careful about u tube if you get interviewed . My DD couldn't visit one university and they picked her up on it at interview when she asked a question : "You would have known that if you had come to an open day". Dreadful comment to make and surely prejudicial for students who live a long way away! If we had known about this, the university would not have made it into the UCAS application at all!

2016Blyton · 09/08/2016 15:44

Very wise comment, although of my 3 older children only one had an interview - so that is 1 interview out of 15 universities/applications. I don't think anywhere the younger two are applying to have interviews and they've seen some of the universities because their siblings where there and they visited then.

Original poster

Sturmundcalm · 09/08/2016 21:45

Thanks everyone. As a result of eu ref result it is now US unis she's mainly looking at. I have encouraged her to apply to Scottish unis this year so that she has at least gone through that process (and hopefully has a backup as a result).

She's prepping for SATs, going to aim for basic ones in Oct and science in June next year (to fit round her exams and coursework). I'm hoping that will give us a feel for how realistic her v grand plans are!

I will take on board the comments about her school though - they're unlikely to push/support her v much in relation to the level of qualifications she needs and applying to the likes of MIT...

And we have made her aware that getting in is only part of the challenge, we're happy to support her but we're not going to be able to cover the kinds of fees involved if she goes out of the country.

OP posts:

FoggyBottom · 09/08/2016 22:07

we're happy to support her but we're not going to be able to cover the kinds of fees involved if she goes out of the country

This may be something you or she will need to rethink. Parents are expected to assist with fees in the US. UK/English universities are a bargain by comparison with places such as MIT.

Original poster

Sturmundcalm · 09/08/2016 22:24

MIT is needs blind so less total cost (low-ish family income) but no scholarships as a result. She's aware of the issue and we've still got time for her to try to find a solution...

OP posts:

goingmadinthecountry · 11/08/2016 21:17

Be generally supportive. No help with personal statement (never saw them) or university choices. Drove to a couple of open days (or rather, they did on non motorways to practise driving). Didn't loiter. First time I saw either city they chose was when dds moved in. I expected them to choose RG or similar and they did.

I pay for accommodation.

sassymuffin · 11/08/2016 21:53

DD went to uni last September, I had zero input into form filling and her personal statement and wasn't allowed to see it until it had been submitted, I did keep an eye on deadlines but DD was on top of things.

DD did ask for advice regarding university choices together we came up with the idea of one "dream", three top 25 and one choice that she felt she could safely achieve admission criteria. DD trawled through online info and prospectuses then picked several to visit then made her final list herself

Our main input was regards to money and how much we could afford to financially support her.

We provided transport to some interviews and open days as it was cheaper as DP gets unlimited petrol allowance with his job. For other open days DD went with friends looking at similar courses.

I am a bit of a internet forager so If I come across any useful information or work experience opportunities relevant to DD I forward them on to her and what she does with it is up to her.

Bomb · 11/08/2016 23:34

Let me guess, did your DD go to a private school or a grammar? If so then the schools tend to give the kids plenty of advice. I was shocked at how little help my DC received at their non selective state school -

My DC who applied for medicine had no help or advice at all with his PS and didn't have things such as interview practice - It didn't matter as my kids sorted things out for themselves but they asked me for help from time to time.

sassymuffin · 12/08/2016 01:32

Bomb DD did go to grammar, fair point!

GinandJag · 12/08/2016 07:06

OP, for US universities, check out the financial aid process. When I last looked at this for DS1, they took the numbers from your US tax return. That was fine for us as we are US taxpayers, and the relevant numbers became very low as allowances for living overseas were taken off first.

hellsbells99 · 12/08/2016 08:51

Bomb, I was thinking the same thing!
I helped my DDs when they asked for help, I helped 'crop' their personal statements and proof read them, I took them for open days if they weren't going with friends and I took them to interviews. I enjoyed my 'away days'!

Grausse · 12/08/2016 09:39

My DC got no help at school with PS. My only input was in also in helping to trim down the finished product to the requisite number of words. 1970s O level English Precis came in handy .

dylexicdementor11 · 14/08/2016 16:22

You should really get more involved if she wants to go to MIT. It's not just about filling out forms and doing well on the SATs. Which most US students would be tutored for.

She would need to show that she is the kind of student MIT wants. Her extracurricular activities would need to be suitable for the schools profile.

If she is not a US citizen, you really need to be more proactive. And consider how you will afford sending her to a US school.

I suspect that most US teens with MIT aspirations have parents/schools that are actively involved in their prep.

kittykittykitty5 · 14/08/2016 22:37

I do open days as I think mine are a little bit green when it comes to knowing what to look at. DD2 was more interested in the rugby team than the Halls tour frankly. However, I did one visit with my eldest and he literally hated it on arrival. The faculty lecture was quite interesting but the location (city centre) was not for him.

So, it taught me a huge lesson, so when DD1 started looking prior to arriving at the open days we have a quick look at the city centre and nearest supermarket etc,.

We are now looking at unis for DS2, just booked our open days and prebooking rail tickets this week.

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