Personal statement hell, all advice welcome!

[cathyandclaire]

DD is wailing,gnashing her teeth and tearing her hair out writing her personal statement to apply for English and Drama. It is loooooooong at the moment and large chunks are going to have to be cut out.
In the qualifications section there's space to put vocational stuff... singing exams, dance, LAMDA etc. With an English/Drama degree it is sort of relevant but there simply isn't room for everything.
So... the question is...do they even glance at the extra qualifications section or does she need to shoehorn diplomas, medals and the like into the main bit?

We have a friend who teaches at a school with excellent success at Uni applications/Oxbridge etc and he kindly asked a couple of colleagues to review DD's PS (DD's school is hopeless). One was very positive, highlighted some passages he loved, a few points to consider, said it showed enthusiasm and commitment. She made a few changes and felt pretty happy but just received the other's comments which are an assassination :( saying it is gushy and in need of a serious rethink. In particular she HATED the bits the other guy loved. They are both well respected.
I think on some parts she has misunderstood the arguments so it is helpful for DD to know she has to make her point with more clarity- but the enthusiasm/gushy thing is more tricky.

Feeling a little despondent

On another point does anyone know if abbreviations are acceptable for the National Youth Theatre etc?

The trouble with Personal Statements is that they are trying to appeal to an unknown reader. Will the reader be very conservative or will they like enthusiasm (or gushy). That is the obstacle you have come up against cathyandclaire.

DD2's has come back from school - teachers approved it but Head of Year wants a paragraph changed.

On the proof reading front, we nearly let 'witch trails' go through. I wouldn't abbreviate if possible.

Thanks Littleham that was DD's understanding, so she will ignore that nugget of advice and leave everything longhand. Lots of guides say it's good to let many people see and advise but everyone has a different view and maybe some interesting statements will polarise opinion.
Anyway DD has rallied and re-re-re-re edited and apparently it is now 3850 still enthusiastic ( but then she is) characters!
I hope your DD's paragraph changing is smooth and painless :)

Annoying isn't it? DD2 is getting irritated by it all & wants it to be her Personal Statement. She is happy with what she has written & teachers say it is perfect now. We can't see anything wrong with it, so it just has to get through the Head of Year (who won't be re-available for a couple of weeks).

DD was boosted by really positive feedback of an earlier draft that was annihilated by another person.
Lesson: Don't let more than one person have the PS at the same time, or you'll get in a right muddle.
So final please, please let it be the final one draft done and it's 47 lines and she's happy with it. She's just planning on checking spellings
(one English tutor said that they get a scary number of Austins instead of Austens and it's an automatic wackwackoops for that) punctuation and especially apostrophes over the weekend
Then pay, send and cross fingers!

Good luck to your DD with round 2 Mumslife they really have to seem to fight to keep their own personality and style in the statement, all the teacher/head of year edits can make them seem a little bland and soulless.
Maybe that's what's needed though...

Lesson: Don't let more than one person have the PS at the same time, or you'll get in a right muddle.

This is so true! Tricky if the only person holding it up is the Head of Sixth form who writes the reference.

Can I just put in a word about Maths?
This time last year DS did his PS. He followed what he had been told at uni open days and kept it entirely subject specific. He is widely read in his subject and just wrote from the heart. I was stunned when I read it as writing is not really his thing. There was one sentence at the end about himself that wasn't maths related. He never did all the DofE and other extra curricular stuff because he was so single minded about doing maths.
The school wanted him to amend it but he stuck to his guns. He got offers from all 5 universities he applied to.

The information I received re personal statements was that what the universities want to see is passion for the subject, not necessarily a list of how they saved the world single handed, how many dancing prizes they have etc. .

amothersplaceisinthewrong Exactly what I was trying to say, but there is huge pressure in schools and sixth forms for DC to do all this extra curricular stuff because "it will be good for your PS."

Music PS proving a nightmare for DD. Not a natural writer, and not even managed a first draft. And still not decided whether definitely going for CUKAS - deadline 1st Oct Arghhhh - so could need 2 versions.
Has a list of stuff to include, knows what she wants to expand.
Has superficial headings for where to talk about each thing and the order she wants them in.

Has a rough idea of how she wants it to begin and end, but keeps scrapping her opening sentence - I've suggested she start in the middle and build round it.
Doesn't have a clue how long the first draft will end up, so really needs to get it done.

Just wondered about dates in personal statements. Is it necessary to always include a date for something done?
If so, what format? ie. December 2013' which wastes a lot of characters. And also whether you need to say how long you've been doing something and how best to say it - since age 14, since yr10, for 3 years,

Advice from a friend who does university entrance /careers advice for her school... The PS is to show the person reading it, who will hopefully be the person teaching you at some point, that you are someone they will enjoy teaching! You need to make them want to have you in their lectures/tutorials...

Thanks mumslife that makes sense for something that is ongoing.
But what if its a one-off like a performance, competition win, award etc.?

History rather than history I think mumslife. DS put his ucas form in yesterday after school ok'd it. I proof read the ps and think it's ok but getting it down from the original has made it much stiffer, almost abrupt. It would be good for him if he got an early offer from any of his five but at least two of his choices are distinctly aspirational, so I'm just hoping it's not early rejections.

For a competition win just stick in the year surely?

Thanks Molio
re the capitalisation, does that mean Music (when using for subject name) but music when talking about styles?
And Violin or violin?

Hopefully teachers will check that.