I need advice to finish my degree...

[Katkins1]

Please help.

All my deadlines are in this month and I'm so behind, I just can't do it.
I've got a ton of housework- no clean and ironed clothes (all waiting to be ironed, 3 baskets full), overgrown garden, kitchen and bathroom absolute tips.
DD's room horrendous- she just won't listen.

Everything stinks, the carpet is horrendous. I just don't know it has got to this point and my work still isn't done. I've honestly just tried to sort out the washing but ended up throwing a basket of it across the hallway and then in my room, sobbing. Then shouted at DD because she won't tidy her room.

I've got mental health issues, have been fighting the urge to self-harm.

is no way I can get everything done and still pass my exams- it's one written assignment, dissertation, presentation and a viva. Presentation not done, assignment a total mess, no referencing sorted or anything- it's not even finished. Dissertation needs to be finished and referenced by the 29th, have a small (but highly theory based) section to write that I've not finished.

I feel like I'm going to fail , and all I'm doing, instead of tidying up, is sitting here with a coffee. I haven't even got me or DD dressed.

I just need academic advice on how to get my assignments sorted- and quick. Are there any quick ways to do it when facing a deadline? I don't care about high grades anymore- I just need to pass.

Good word, I often sit staring in to space myself . I'm on here in breaks between doing stuff at the minute- good luck with the assignment. I am aiming to get it done tonight- even if I do need to stay up. I always reference last, as I'm usually ok with it (and some stuff is already there..)

I do feel a bit better having stepped away from it, though. Motivation is hard , yes, especially as everything feels as though it takes forever because there's a lot more to do in the third year.

Sorry to hear this, if you were my personal tutee, this is the advice I would give:

If you are getting the urge to self-harm then it sounds like you need professional help. Please immediately contact the health professionals responsible for your mental health (eg GP/University Counselling service/Community Mental Health).

Please discuss with them the extent to which you are in a position to be able to study at this point in time. Your health is always more important than deadlines.

Please remember that with evidence from health professionals, it is usually possible to get extensions/take leave of absence as necessary.

Please remember that your degree result is with you for the rest of your life. It is much better to take a break from studying and then return to get the degree that you are capable of achieving when you are feeling better, than struggle to meet deadlines and not get the result you deserve.

Thing is , though, I have battled with SH for a long time (many years), and I'm so very nearly there that I don't want to take a break from it. It's a month away from the finish.

I suspect our University don't space out our deadlines enough, as I'm not the only one to have been crying and stressing over them. I've heard from several other people they are feeling the same.

At one point, they even arranged a presentation on dissertation hand in day, but quickly changed it. They do not discuss with one another the deadlines, which leaves us all in a vulnerable position. The entire department also book leave over the Easter break (rather than spacing it out, or having staff available one or two days for students). Considering it's so close to deadlines you would think that there would be academic staff available to discuss matters like this, but that's a whole other issue.

I am going to see how I feel after the long weekend, with my DD away it might be easier to get things done, and then if I need it, contact them about an extension.

Just to add, though, I have managed to get a lot with the housework done. It's not as I'd like it, but it's hygienic and liveable at least. My friend from uni also contacted me, and we had a bit of a motivational chat- she's a single Mum, too. I also just decided to lower my standards a bit, and went and got fish and chips for DD for tea. Which she was very happy with!

Going outside helped. I think I'm just having to, as you all say, compromise on what I can do and put the assignments first. Worry about everything else later. I think I was reaching the point of being burnt out, but a few hours doing something else has really helped. And posting on here. Looking back, I can see that my posts seem a bit silly and trivial, but I'm such a young Mum trying to do something useful with my life.

I've got a PhD waiting for me after a gap year, and have just secured an arts contract (well, two..). I'm managing two projects; freelance basis. I'm hoping to pick up some p/t work to go with it too. Those are really positive things, but my MH issues sometimes drag me back in to my murky past very quickly, without me even noticing....

Thank you all for helping. I think most students who feel like this just call their parents!

They do - and we are happy to help you too!

Thank you. I don't have a Mum or anything to phone and talk to (she left when I was 4), and all of my friends are feeling the same as me right now, no point in offloading to them!

You sound like you have done SO.MUCH already! So really well done for that. I think actually that I am more behind than you. I am quite good at referencing so if you need any help with that feel free to pm me.
Just a thought. If your friend is also a single mum why not organise a childcare swap with her where one of you take both children for say the morning then the other does the afternoon. I used to do this with a friend so we could do uni work and it worked well

Thank you. Referencing is apparently, one of my strengths. I am working on an essay due in may 2nd right now, but it is tough going. I don't think the other Mum would do a swap, she thinks her DS is quite lively, but I wouldn't mind (my DD is shy; they have met each other).

Apologies if someone else has already said this but I haven't got time to read the full thread at the mo.

OP go and ask your student welfare or student union advice centre for an extension form to get more time to do your Uni work. When you've done it also apply for mitigating circumstances (these would be your mental health issues) to he taken into account when they're marking your work.

Housework wise I personally would just leave it but I am a shocking sloven. How about an ironing service for the ironing and paying someone to come in and clean up if it's bothering you.

In terms of more info about mit circs and extensions feel free to pm me if you want to know more. I work in a student union advice centre so I may he able to help a little.

Def speak to your tutor- I had to get my final assignments and even dissertation pushed back due to ill health. It can be done, no one need know and once you have your degree in hand it won't matter or bother you hang in there. Xx

Thabk you everyone for the replies, I have been working on the assignment due in on May 2nd and have ended up over the word count for some reason (with more to add), so that's a start! I will look at it over the weekend when DD isn't here, and probably get a lot more of it done that way. I have had to stay up so late to do it though, so might just leave my books where they are and go to sleep for a bit then finish up tomorrow when my DD goes.