I need advice to finish my degree...

[Katkins1]

Please help.

All my deadlines are in this month and I'm so behind, I just can't do it.
I've got a ton of housework- no clean and ironed clothes (all waiting to be ironed, 3 baskets full), overgrown garden, kitchen and bathroom absolute tips.
DD's room horrendous- she just won't listen.

Everything stinks, the carpet is horrendous. I just don't know it has got to this point and my work still isn't done. I've honestly just tried to sort out the washing but ended up throwing a basket of it across the hallway and then in my room, sobbing. Then shouted at DD because she won't tidy her room.

I've got mental health issues, have been fighting the urge to self-harm.

is no way I can get everything done and still pass my exams- it's one written assignment, dissertation, presentation and a viva. Presentation not done, assignment a total mess, no referencing sorted or anything- it's not even finished. Dissertation needs to be finished and referenced by the 29th, have a small (but highly theory based) section to write that I've not finished.

I feel like I'm going to fail , and all I'm doing, instead of tidying up, is sitting here with a coffee. I haven't even got me or DD dressed.

I just need academic advice on how to get my assignments sorted- and quick. Are there any quick ways to do it when facing a deadline? I don't care about high grades anymore- I just need to pass.

Stop worrying about your housework. Or just take the washing to the laundrette and do a service wash, if you can afford it. Get a cleaner in for a few hours. It is not a luxury if you do it only once, providing you have the cash for it.

I was looking at taking the ironing somewhere, but it's all so expensive. It's not laundry, I do that every day (usually vacuum and wipe round kitchen/ bathroom every day too). I do quite a lot most days, but it's just getting ridiculous.

I often felt like this during my degree. I found what worked best was spending one to one and a half hours blitzing my flat doing as much as I could and then just concentrating on my course work. You can do it, you are doing it, the end is in sight. Good luck.

Thank you. I think there is more than an hours work here, I just can't face it yet. I'm a single Mum, so everything falls to me. No help from DD's Dad at all, and really limited help from my family. I am seriously looking at ironing services right now, because there's no way that I can get through all of it. It's incredibly expensive, but I will just cut back on something else. I am at the point where I am having to choose between clean clothes and eating and doing my coursework. All of this week, I've eaten my tea (a sandwich) while standing up in the kitchen.

Must you iron everything?

I am probably a real slatten, because I only ever iron shirts, everything else is just flattened.

Just hang the clothes up and iron them as you want them.

All that is important is the assignments.

Concentrate on that.

That isn't everything- it's just what I've not had a chance to do. I usually just get things off the line/ airier, fold them (or wear them) straight away. This is all the creased stuff I've been putting away at the same time as doing everything else, just folding. I honestly don't want to move and do any of it right now. It's too much. Every room, every single part of my flat needs tidying/ cleaning. Every. Single. One.

www.citethisforme.com

Yes, Jacky, but I need to have clean clothes/ a wash/ clean bed sheets. dishes to eat out off/ food in the cupboards. I honestly feel like its too much right now. Way too much.

stop thinking about what you need to do and spend an hour doing it. Don't iron or at least put it somewhere you cant see it for now. I know how you feel, i was a single parent when at university. I felt guilty when I was spending time with my DC, guilty when I wasn't, guilty when I was doing course work, guilty when I wasn't. rush around and do what you can in an hour, a clear space will make you think clearer.

I am also a student. And a mum. (I also work part time, but I have a husband to share the load and my woes)

I know how easy it is to let housework slide, and to be focused on housework when you really should be working on your coursework.

Forget the ironing, the cleaning. Let it slide. Just do one hour a day to keep on top of it. Or add another hour around lunchtime when you take a break.

Can you set achievable goals for your assignments?
Think of just one thing at the time, like start with the referencing?

Write up your final chapter, and introduction last, and give yourself 1-2 days just for this. etc.

That's ok.
Get it in perspective.
It's mess. It will still be there when you have done your assignments. You can't do it right now.
Clear desk/table space. Get going.
What are you studying?
Why don't you fish for help in a high traffic area?
AIBU to ask you all to help me get a degree?

You can be smelly and do some work?

If it's really too much, put it all in one room and close the door.

I know how you feel, I get like this when I have deadlines. everything feels like a mountain. get showered and dressed, get your lunch then see if dd will sit and watch a film so u can get some coursework done. even if all you do is sort through everything and prioritise it then it's a start. write a list of what u need to do for college then have half and hour just doing something in the house. put the unironed clothes away and wash some dishes up. take it baby steps a day at a time and it will get better.x

I remember feeling like this in my last year. The more I tried not to think about the housework the more I did! I was over worrying about everything and found that mindfulness podcasts helped me massively. (Search on iTunes - mental health foundation. They have some wellbeing podcasts) Helped me to get a few mins to get my mind relaxed and then start on things to do. Don't worry too much about mess. Like everyone's said an hour of cleaning will achieve a lot x

I'm studying Drama, Jacky. I was Ok until I was diagnosed with PTSD in May last year (long story) and lost my Grandfather in January. It sparked a depression that very quickly spiralled out of control, and I've only just managed to get myself on a even balance. I was sucididal for a couple of months, still went to uni etc., but I don't think the depression has gone just yet I still have good and bad days, but think that people in RL are a bit fed up of me.

I'm really sorry if I came across as rude, that wasn't my intent, I just feel like a pressure cooker ready to explode. A lot of the time I feel as though no-one understands, but that's my depression talking, I'm sure.

Thank you for the referencing tool, it looks useful. We use a variation on the Harvard, I will see if it's on there.

I suppose that's why I'm asking for help/ advice. I know there are other Mums on here who have studied/ are studying and know how hard it is.

Glad I'm not the only one who feels like this. I seem to have a problem in that I set myself deadlines and then go round in circles, redrafting and never getting anything done because I want things to be perfect.

Choose one room - probably the one you work in and give yourself 30 mins blitz it so you have a clean tidy space to study in. Open the windows to get some fresh air in. How old's your DD? Can she help? Can you give her extra pocket money for tidying/ironing/hoovering?

Your clothes seem to be a sticking point so hang them up so they're out of the way and you can't see them. Unironed clothes are not a priority here, especially if you are at home studying.

Start with your dissertation and don't worry about the rest yet if your first deadline is the dissertation. Do the referencing last - I always do it right at the end when I'm very tired as it's takes less effort than writing.

And - I mean this nicely - get off MN (this applies to me too, I'm also meant to be writing an assignment and am way behind on it as well!). In fact, switch off your wifi if you don't need it for studying, you will get so much more done.

She's 6. I've left it for a bit because I'm still crying/ too wound up to do anything. I think I might benefit from clearing some space at least, so I feel uncluttered (as in head space). My first assignment is due May 2nd, dissertation last. I've got almost all of it done (I'm over the word count) so was thinking of taking a break to clear my head and then doing it this evening when DD is in bed, rather than getting wound up. I don't know. My desk is (strangely) always clear and organised!

Could you take DD to park for a hour?
Let her run around, so she doesn't get cabin fever...
Then she will sleep better tonight too...

Can you list your deadlines here exactly and what they are? Is everything due 29th?

Give wordcounts etc. What form is the presentation in?

I know you'll feel like you're wasting time but a short walk outside will really help.

You needn't iron anything esp if you are going to be staying in writing.

I can reccommend two sites for focus. The first, focal filter allows you to block certain websites for periods of time mumsnet, facebook etc. The second, writtenkitten is genius as you do your typing and it rewards you with a cute cat pic for each 100 words. Silly but every little helps right.

Are there any friends dd could go for a playdate/dinner with and you could return the favours after hand in. If I knew another Mum was struggling I'd def take their child to play for a bit.
Try not to worry too much about the housework. Although if you do have any spare cash I'd be tempted to book a cleaning service to do a goid 5-6 hours, arrange for dd to see a friend and then head to the library.

Hi, I think you need to talk to your personal tutor about mitigation in light of your health issues making you fall behind. If it becomes too much you can always interrupt for a year.
My house always looked at state at deadline and exam time, it is pretty normal and you have a lot going on so try not to stress over it, but get an appointment with your pt ASAP.

I work in a Uni. I would be amazed if they didn't give you an extension due to health issues and personal circumstances. Go and talk to the student welfare or the disability team.

Your degree is to measure your skills in drama, not to be some test of resilient you are when you are not well. You don't have to be brave, you just need to ask for some help and ppl will be very happy to give you more time and some support in other ways too.

Tiny, I've got the filter, I use it on chrome and then IE if I feel like not doing anything!
I shall look at the cat one :)

Deadlines:

• One essay and script (3,000 words plus script) due in May 2nd. I've got the script done, my essay is all over the place. I've more than 3,000 words and it all needs re-drafting, tidying up, focusing and referencing.

• Presentation and Viva 13th and 15th May; I've done the reading and the piece of work to present (a teaching strategy in HE, it was hard!) need to put the presentation together .

-Dissertation 10,000 words. I've done 8,4000 and most references there, just need tidying up and sifting through in to general and reference.

My Dad has said he will have DD to stay overnight tomorrow, which is going to help.

I've managed to get some housework done, stripped the beds, put everything in to wash, just put the ironing baskets in my room for now. Tidied DD's room, kitchen and will vacuum in a bit.

My dissertation is already on an extension.

Thank you for the advice so far, I am finding it a real challenge with my MH issues.

It sounds like you're doing brilliantly already! Honestly, my DH has taken the kids out so I can work and I've sat staring into space for the last two hours - such a waste, I hate myself! I have a 5,000 word assignment for 4 May and have done nothing so far, have only just looked at the data and don't have a clue where to start.

Focus on the essay, it sounds like you've done the hard part and editing is more straightforward than writing from scratched - can you get that finished this weekend, not including the referencing, which I would save for when you've got all the rest done.

Right, am going to switch off MN and try writtenkitten, thanks for the tip!

It sounds like you're on your way to getting the house in a reasonable enough state, and great that dd will be out tomorrow.

Now, forget the house - it'll still be there at the end of the month. Tidying is procrastinating at this stage. Give yourself a word target each day; you should be able to write 500 words a day minimum, or the equivalent of tidying - a couple of solid hours? As soon as your dd is in bed, forget everything else, make yourself a pot of tea and get on with it. I've just had to so this to fe through a pile of marking with a six month old - it's bloody tough trying to stir up the motivation sometimes, but once you start on just one task - the rest will happen. Maybe just start with your reference section as something that doesn't require much brain power?

Also, if you need any academic help, do contact your lecturers. You're nearly finished, and you can do it!