State of shock/worry/ignorance

[AndyMurraysBalls]

You think you know your children, don't you?

DS is 17 and in year 13 doing A levels. He is also working about 30 hours a week.

I had no idea that he wanted to go to university.

I thought he was just getting these A levels done and then getting out there like everyone else.

He is bright and did well in his GCSEs and really wasn't sure about staying on, but eventually decided to do A levels. I supported this decision (although I was very surprised) and actually thought he had been put under pressure by the school to stay on. (Schools seem to be very into this these days).

We have just had a Parents' Day (which seemed very bizarre to me - he's 17 FFS) and the teacher started rattling on about references and statements and applications.

DS has said that he isn't absolutely sure yet that university is for him but that there are deadlines looming (hence the teachers getting stressed).

What do I need to know? I've googled but there is so much information out there that I can't take it in. I need shorthand facts.

I'm guessing a few MNers must have DCs at university who could please help me.

I've heard about all these people with debts and having to find £9000.00 a year etc, but have always just let it all go over my head because I never thought it was going to apply to me yet. I have a DD who is 14 , and think that she may very well want to go to university because she is a very different character (loves studying and reading stuff) so wasn't going to get too stressed about it all for a few years because things change so much.

Help .....!

Is there any way he could reduce his hours at work? It really is a lot in A2 year. DD didn't work outside school in sixth form (we are by no means flush with money, she just accepted that she wouldn't have loads of spare cash) and she even had reservations about being in the school play as it cut into study time (I encouraged her to be in the play and it was fine, BTW).

With those grades, steer him towards the Russel Group of universities (Google it) (not every Good Uni is in the Russell Group, but if it is in the RG, it is a Good University).

By the way, would you be able to tell us his GCSE and AS results? That will give the clearest picture of the kind of institutions he would be best aiming for.

And has he done his personal statement? The Student room website has a facility where you can submit it and have it critiqued by people who know their stuff, DD did this and it was great (and free).

Once I know my stuff, and if DS decides university is for him then I shall be so fucking engaged in his education that I will encourage him to avoid people who look down on people like us.

Fine words but I have done a search on you; you have never posted on the education boards before about anything. You are a bit late to the party.

Now that you are on board with the idea of University, please do not carried away with it. Not all Universities are the same. Some Universities and some degrees courses are regarded better than others. Hopefully your DS knows what he is about, but you should be aware that nothing is set in stone - he could apply this year, he could leave it until next year, he could apply but then change his mind at the last minute and no go after all (wouldn't cost much money, just the wasted application fee). Nothing is final at this stage.
Whatever you do, don't rush into a foolish decision. Do it once and do it right.

senua that was unnecessary. A parent doesn't have to post on a forum to care about their child's education.

Senua that is a ridiculous comnent. And wtaf would you do a search on a poster. My dd is in primary school and I sometimes have concerns. I don't post on here or any other forum does that mean I dont care?

Honestly sometimes I think folk post sarky comments to make themsrlves look clever. It rarely works

Senua, trust me, as someone who works at a Uni if I wanted to make you feel completely ignorant it would be dead easy.

The OP posted saying, help, this is a new area for me. Do we:

(A) say, welcome, sister, happy to share our experience, no question too daft and have a ; or

(B) look at me, look at me, I know fractionally more than you do, ha ha.

Those of us who work in the field want bright kids on board and we are more than happy to reassure new families that they will be welcome. Luckily, we are the ones running the Unis.

Sorry you've been made to feel so bad, AMB. :(
FWIW, I work in Unis and I think we need a lot more people from the real world of Hard Knocks. I find it alarming how many of my colleagues had private education & a sheltered background. Students no better (this is far from an RG uni, btw).

I am rather surprised that folk are saying AMB's son is Oxbridge material. I thought it was "Must have 10xA at GCSE & 3 x A at A-level" territory.

But oh well, it's the boy's life to live & good to see that AMB is so keen to support him in what HE wants to do.

Senua that is a ridiculous comnent.

Sorry but OP has written some ridiculous comments and it has got my goat. How can you say that you are "engaged" after writing "He wants to do Economics with Finance. Whatever that is."

Senua you are being the ridiculous poster here.

lljkk, people are seeing Oxbridge material in the OP's ds because his results/predicted grades, achieved at a 'war-zone' school while holding down a 30h-a-week (!) job, indicate that he is talented as well as motivated, engaged and determined, which are key qualities students need on Oxbridge degrees.

OP, I went to Oxford from a pretty ordinary background - admittedly middle-class with graduate parents (teachers), but not wealthy, not tutored and from an unspectacular state comp. Access is a big issue at Oxbridge and they are very keen to attract applicants like your ds.

Oxbridge will be interested in what subjects he is doing at A level, we can't judge unless we know that. Standard offers in social science are AAA at Oxford and A*AA at Cambridge (science offers are higher).

If he has three other good A levels, then rather than drop his job I would drop General studies. Nobody gives a rats arse about it at UNi entrance, it's just there to make the school results look better.

Senua, you just don't get self deprecation, do you? The poster was semi humorously beating herself up. Quite normal mother stuff.

Well i don't know what economics and finance is either, i can promise you, if my DD came home and announced that she wanted to do this degree, i would certainly not be rushing out to buy the financial times just to "engage".

Also, i only know about university entrance and requirements because I went to university and supported undergraduates as part of my post grad studies - I hadn't even heard of UCAS until i applied myself. I certainly wouldn't expect other parents who had not been through university or who had been a very long time ago to know what to expect. That is what the school's job is, to ensure that the students have the correct information. Now the OP is aware of her DS's intentions she is clearly wanting to find out more - thats why she started this thread.

Tell me senua, do you have a 50" TV to go with that goat?

Shall we stop the infighting now and try and help the OP?

good lord, OP, are you for real?

You seem so dismissive of anything you haven't done yourself, and of your son. He sounds amazing.

Just READ the thread links, particularly the Money Saving Expert one. Frankly £27,000 is cheap for a degree which will open up so much of the world for your son.

I wish him really really good luck -- for him to have got so far ON HIS OWN at 17 suggests he is an ideal candidate for university and will go far. Stop holding him back by your attitude.

Don't think OP will be back.

I am referring to doing a job where you can see results as part of a productive enterprise where there is a reward in the form of job satisfaction and the means to pay for yourself in life. As opposed to the less immediately obvious benefits of continued study

I'm sorry but this is just rubbish. University students work extremely hard, and are productive. It's called delayed gratification.

I just feel really sorry for your son. He obviously seeks your approval, but is inured to the fact he won't get it.

1/4 of my PhD is economics & I don't know what "Economics with Finance" is either off top of my head.

THE STUDENT ROOM www.thestudentroom.co.uk

Best site ever for all info regarding UCAS/applications/Personal Statements etc - designed for teenagers to use but also useful for any parents who have never done this process fbefore and need heaps of info/advice etc.

Has chat boards and VERY useful wiki articles on every aspect of applications, which subject to choose, how it all works etc etc. Well monitored site.

I'm with those who think there has been a lot of completely unnecessary rudeness on this thread. Can't we stick to the issues without people falling over themselves to criticise the OP for her imagined failings? I'd say that a parent of a young person as her son sounds to be has done a very good job. Hats off to her. He can get advice on university entrance elsewhere. He didn't pick up that work ethic from the ether.

I too got quite a surprise when my DS suddenly said he wanted to go to University as we were living in Spain and the only reason he had stayed on for his A level equivalent exams was the lack of decent work available in the area. However, once he had done a bit of research he decided to go to several open days, flying over on his own.

He had no support from school as they were only interested in those going to university in Spain so I felt that I should do some research myself to support him through the process. There is loads of help out there try
www.thestudentroom.co.uk/
and www.ucas.com/ as well as sites like www.whatuni.com/

To be honest the worst bit was probably the hassle of student finance which, unfortunately, is repeated every year.

Enjoy the process together. Keep calm & drink

Forgot to say - good luck to your son whatever he decides to do.