Helping my DD with her University Costs?

[fizzyhead]

Hi,

My DS father has been missing from our life for many years so I have always taken care of all her needs by myself. I re-married and have another child. Because of my DH our family income exceeds the minimum income to apply for a grant. Although DH does not fund my DS's living or educational costs.

So.... the boring bit over..... Do people usually pay for their children's accommodation/living expenses/train tickets (she'll be applying to Unis for 2012 entry away from London, where we live) or do most students pay for themselves?

Only tonight my daughter was telling me (when I expressed my worries at the extraordinary amount of money expected to fork out for expenses) that that's why most parents open an University fund for their children and they pay into it for years - Is this true? She made me feel awful, I told her that having paid for uniforms, holidays, tutors, summer camps, extra-curricular activities, birthday parties, mobile phones and everything else all these years ALL BY MYSELF I just hadn't been able to open a University fund and I don't believe that so many parents do so. She insisted that she knows looooads of people whose parents have this covered.

Now, as I'm working full time, I suppose I'll end up paying for all her expenses, at least for the first year. Is this wrong? Is this right? Yes, I'll be dried up like a raisin, but what else would I want to spend any money I earn on? Do we provide for our children until they are 17 and then send them on their way? Or do we still provide for them while they still need us, no matter how old they are?

can I have some thoughts on this please????

many thanks.

mumeeee: that isn't true, student loans in the 3rd year are identical to the first 2, assuming circumstances and their policies haven't changed between years. I have our student finance statement for this year, which confirms this!

Whilst student loans are "debt", they aren't really debt in the conventional sense, they are at a very preferential interest rate (that's changing admittedly) any outstanding debts are written off after 30 years and you only have to pay back proportionally to what you earn. In other words, its not worth giving her money to cover the tuition fee or maintenance loan, only as extra money in addition to the loans.

I wouldn't feel guilty about it; one of the most useful things will be giving her somewhere to live over the holidays saving her food (possibly rent too) costs then, that gives her a chance to save and earn. You just do what you can - don't we all?

If you support your DD through university, will you expect her to finance you in return when your pension fund isn't sufficient?

What course is she studying? Unless it is a very demanding full-time subject like law, medicine, pharmacy etc she will probably only be at lectures for around 10 hours per week which leaves plenty of time to have part-time employment.

The reality is that most parents struggle to pay their mortgages, bills and put food on the table, let alone save anything. The only people I know that have 'college funds' have inherited substantial amounts or are very high earners.

DSS1 is at uni now. We pay into an account for him each month (under £300) as does his DM. Not enough to fund him (he does have to dip into it now for things like books) but it will grow until he graduates when it will pay off SOME of his debts. We aren't paying his fees, and I don't have a problem with debt which has been built up with forethought eg to pay for an education. When he graduates - if we are v well off by then - we may pay off his debts but I have made DH promise not to tell DSS1 that now :)

I think students are adults and need to learn how to budget, and understand how much things cost (I am amazed how many don't get this by the time they get to 18!) I don't think in the long run it helps anyone to find themselves in their early 20s, never having had any real independence or understanding of how much things are really "worth". (Though my view is undoubtedly coloured by the fact that no one ever offered to pay my student loan off, or give me a house deposit :))

We have opened an account for our little DS, I don't put a huge amount in each month though. When I was growing up I don't know of anyone whose parents had a university fund - no one could afford it then. At uni no one I knew worked in term-time but we all worked in the holidays.

By the way, back then, your student loan was the best value loan you could get and you were always advised to pay it off last as you'd never get a better financial deal. Is that not the case any more? So people who hate the idea of debt see it in the same way as a credit card or overdraft? I see it more like a low cost mortgage.

Ah MushroomMagee I see you have already answered my question about loans at preferential rates upthread.

mushroomMagee - DS and DD both definitely got less in the last year of their degrees - DD finished this summer, DS two years ago.

I would suggest that even if you have the money to pay off the student debt you should not do it yet - the interest rate for students who started recently is currently only about 1.5% and you can get a lot more than that on it if you put it in the right place.

Mushroom DD1 did get less in her 3rd year it also states that on the student finance website although we're live in Wales so might be different for those from England. However DD3 has just started her 3rd year and is actually getting more than she has in the last 2 years. But that is because our circumstances changed and we earned less in 2009 to 2010 so she has been given a bigger loan. It actually isn't advisable to pay the student loan off in one go as I think they end up paying more. But can't remember why that is.

I havent read the whole thread sorry, but the site moneysavingexpert.com has lots of information about the loans, whether its better to take them or not, weekly budgeting etc. It's quite surprising - for example he recommends that from next year all students should take the loan even if their parents are in a position to help them out. Might be worth checking out.

I think I am going to have a breakdown

The LSE's very general estimate of minimum living costs for the 2011/12 academic session is £1000 per month.

Self Catering Hall fees;
Term one balance due: £2981.50

Your first term payment is due by 5pm on Friday 7th October 2011.

Intercollegiate halls such as Cartwright gardens halls and Nutford House are a lot cheaper and possibly nicer.

Also, stbbankrupt I looked up the link for lse accommodation

www2.lse.ac.uk/lifeAtLSE/accommodation/forStudents/offerAcceptance/fees/list_LSE.aspx

none of it is as expensive as you say

I wish that was true funny!

We were allocated High Holborn after requesting the lowest price band for a single room in any of the LSE halls and as you can see the amount is exactly as I quoted above.

Your Accommodation
Location High Holborn (40 weeks)

Lease Starts 25 September 2011
Lease Ends 30 June 2012
Lease Length 39 weeks 6 days
Total Rent for Lease Period £7,895.70
Weekly Rent £198.10
Room Type Single

£770 PER WEEK for a Studio...........the mind boggles!!!

Two of my nephews chose universities close to home. They were in halls for the first year and then lived at home and travelled in daily.

We never had a university fund for any of ours. DS1 went to university in 1998 and his sister followed on close behind so we were a 2 student family for a year. They both had student loans and we funded the first year for both. MIL paid for most of DD books and bought a computer for DS. Both had credit cards for train fares and unexpected stuff. They did have to learn to budget and there were times when they really struggled and I had to send money for food.
They had to work every, summer, Easter and Christmas to save for the next term so had no student holidays. DD was very of friends whose parents fully funded everything and even paid for expensive holidays while she worked at Tescos and did bar work.

My middle two chose to do apprenticeships. So no loans, no debt, and board paid to me not to line a landlord's pocket.
We still have two DC at school.....and still no university fund!

The clever way to do it is of course get a job before going to university and get the firm to foot the bill. Looking back DS1 could have done this. He did manage to get 4th year of his degree funded after his work placement year.

Thanks Bete!

Am thinking that when the reality of finances actually sinks in with her and assuming her father doesn't bail her out, she may decide to live at home next year?

We are in Surrey, only 25 minutes to Waterloo, so would prefer her to do that as opposed to moving anywhere else.

Thank you for those tips Bete.

I have got her the Railcard and I worked out the pay as you go Oyster card would be the better option (got slightly confused reading the website and think the student card would work out more expensive, please correct me if I am wrong!).

I went for a visit yesterday and she seems to be settled in really well, made lots of friends and has been out on the piss socialising every night since she's been there!

I was told on my departure, 'See you at Christmas'...... !

I'm glad I started squirrelling when dd was about 13. Saved all her Child Benefit plus about another £30 each month. I wouldn't have been able to save the CB, though, if Child Tax Credit hadn't been introduced - it was thanks to that, that I could. Now dd is earning a bit as she's working part time as a language assistant in France. She might get through university without debt; she's very careful, and does get a grant and a bursary. She's talking about doing an MA next. If she does, unfortunately she'll have to apply for a loan (the smaller the better as far as I'm concerned; I just think debt is BAD.)
Does anyone else think that encouraging students into deep debt is terrible indoctrination which might well lead to some unforeseen awfulness in the future? I feel deeply uncomfortable about it and feel sure that many of our lovely, naive children just don't realise what they're getting themselves into.