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Higher education

Talk to other parents whose children are preparing for university on our Higher Education forum.

Original poster

A Level Anxiety

895 replies

Toffee22 · 14/08/2011 22:42

Only 4 more "sleeps" until the A level results come out - not that I will be doing much sleeping...

Eldest son wants to study medicine. 3 "A's" required no slip ups allowed. Have just checked and most medical schools don't accept re-sits. How can I face looking at the cold hard facts at some point on Thursday. I'm sure it will be difficult for my son too! When I tried to talk to him about it today instead of a response he said he would do an "impression of a tree". It wasn't even a very good impression. What does this mean?

OP posts:
dementedma · 16/08/2011 21:52

ah, the mature response mumofsussex Grin
and what results is your precious pumpkin waiting for? seriously, what will happen if he/she doesn't get the grades? Really, what's the worst case scenario? will you love them less, will they be a worse person in your eyes? will the world come to an end?

mrswoodentop · 16/08/2011 21:56

dementedmaif your child really wants something then it is difficult not to feel stressed for them ,however venting that stress on here means that one can avoid venting the stress at home.

It sounds like you are in Scotland where higher education is free and one years delay is just a delay .The difference for English students is that if they go next year (as mine will do)they face paying 9%of their income over £21000 for the next 30years ,funnily enough some of them are quite stressed about getting in this year rather than next

Currysecret · 16/08/2011 21:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

adamschic · 16/08/2011 22:00

dementedma, how about this, some of our DC's have their heart set on a certain path and we are supporting them.

I've told mine it's not the end of the world and she might have to resit but to some KIDS not doing a degree isn't right for them.

follyfoot · 16/08/2011 22:01

Oh popsicle dont say that. Newcastle dropped my DDs offer from AAB to BBB because of an extended project result. Aaaaaaagh. Off to panic a bit more now.

mumofsussex · 16/08/2011 22:03

dementedma this was a lovely supportive thread. Please do not come on here and attempt to cause trouble. You admit in your first sentence that you came on here to be argumentative in pointing out that results already out in Scotland. We know that. We are a group of parents who are supporting their children and what their children want to do. I for one, have a child that has had his heart set on a career path for over 4 years now and the results he will get in two days will determine whether he can achieve that goal. So yes, he is stressed and yes I am stressed. Not because I am worried that he will fail, but because I love him want the best for him. My son has chosen his career path and like every decent parent, I will support him and be there for him and yes worry for him.

You are a very very ignorant person for coming onto this thread and making stupid comments. Why not go and stir up trouble in AIBU, I believe there are lots of trolls around tonight, go join them Grin

adamschic · 16/08/2011 22:04

Doh, missed the scottish thing. It's OK doing something else if for a year or two and resitting when any further education is free.

Mine will be paying 9K a year if she goes anyway due to being born in 1993 and not 1992! But can understand the financial pressure on the ones waiting for final results.

mumofsussex · 16/08/2011 22:04

adamschic exactly. DS has set his heart on a career that requires a degree. Becoming an au pair or doing voluntary work is not really going to help him achieve his goal of becoming a barrister Wink

funnyperson · 16/08/2011 22:06

carpwidow I will only be allowed as far as the car park unless needed and even then I suspect DD will want me to keep a healthy distance.
dementedma you are so right but the thing is this results day is a moment in our lives. Hopefully. And if it isn't I want to be prepared and be there with newspaper, pencil, ucas number etc. Plan B.
I am taking a camera btw. Just in case of good news. If its good news three generations on both sides of the family are on standby for a celebration.

follyfoot · 16/08/2011 22:07

No pressure on my DD, just sharing the nerves with others in the same boat. Am sure its exactly the same for other parents on this thread. So leave us alone eh demented?

carpwidow · 16/08/2011 22:10

Dementedma - I joined this thread so I could share my anxieties with other mums without DC realising I was anxious. His heart is set on going to uni and doing his chosen course. HE chose the uni, HE chose the course, HE wrote his own application - I DIDN'T. Personally I'm worried sick at the thought of a 30k student loan. He doesn't know that. He's spent most of the summer working and purchasing bits and pieces he will need when he moves out - I HAVEN'T BOUGHT ANY OF IT. When you love someone, you share passionately in their hopes and dreams (do you not agree?) so it's natural to feel anxious. And, for the record, Demented, it's not Oxbridge, it's not medicine, he doesn't need A stars - just a simple 200 UCAS points. He's a working class boy who wants to be the first in our family to go to Uni. I came on here for support, not cynicism. Please apologise then I'll bugger off and take my chill pill and I promise I won't throw rotten fruit ;)

adamschic · 16/08/2011 22:12

I told mine to go down with her friends but she is insisting I go with her, just in case we need a chat with head of year. She didn't go through the embarrassed about me stage, not yet anyway!

dementedma · 16/08/2011 22:15

mumofsussex how very rude you are. I did not come on this thead to be argumentative, that is your assumption. My intention was actually to point out that as Scottish results are already out, then perhaps Scottish Mners were in a position to offer help or moral support to English colleages undergoing the same thing.
To call me ignorant and a troll when you don't even know me is just downright ill-mannered. My DCs are 20 and 18 so I know exactly what it means to want the best for your child in exam results but never resorted ot be offensive to others over it. I hoepe your DCs get the results they want - I also hope they haven't inherited their mother's lack of tolerance and manners.

mumofsussex · 16/08/2011 22:16

carpwidow very well written post. You have summed it up so very well. we are just here to support them and listen to them, DS's choices are all his and his dreams are his which I fully support although of course I am worried. An you are right, it is much better than they don't know how stressed me are!
I shouldn't allow people like her to let me rise to the bait. Its obvious some people just want a bunfight.

Oh well, off to sleep here, don't think there will be too much going on tomorrow night Wink

adamschic · 16/08/2011 22:16

Meant 'embarrassed to be seen with me' not saying your DC's are embarrassed about you Grin

dementedma · 16/08/2011 22:17

carpwidow fingers crossed for your boy. Apologies if offence caused but with a supportive parent like you, am sure your boy will do well whether he goes to uni or not.

namefortheday · 16/08/2011 22:18

Demented - you started off your posts on this thread by implying that the posters were putting their dc under so much pressure they would be topping themselves! Hardly surprising you've been told to sod off is it?

Ponders · 16/08/2011 22:19

carpwidow, that was lovely Smile

dementedma, you are not offering either help or moral support Hmm

mumofsussex · 16/08/2011 22:20

x-post. Am sorry dementedma but you came across as rude and offensive. If you read all the posts you will see that there are numerous worried/concerned/stressed mums (and perhaps dads) that are on here and we all have one thing in common, we want the best for our children and of course are worried that they may not get the results that they need to achieve their dreams. To make the sort of comments that you made are, in my opinion, upsetting and somewhat offensive. That is just my opinion of course, an opinion to which I am entitled. You don't know me either so perhaps you would kindly refrain from the name calling

dementedma · 16/08/2011 22:21

sigh ok.
not surprisng in the least on MN Grin
off to bed, sleep well chickies. May all your DCs be uber succesful come results day.

dementedma · 16/08/2011 22:24

you started it mumofsussex.

You are a very very ignorant person for coming onto this thread and making stupid comments. Why not go and stir up trouble in AIBU, I believe there are lots of trolls around tonight, go join them

Just a tad hypocritcal no? Hmm

mumofsussex · 16/08/2011 22:35

'you started it' - sorry, who is the child here? That is the sort of comment I'd expect my 4 year old to make.
I was half joking about you stirring up trouble in AIBU but I see that you have been on several threads there tonight, including commenting on wanting to murder your husband and wanting to hurl rocks at someone and also the thread titled 'anyone for a bunfight' or similar! Hmm I am very sorry if you have had a bad day, I am very sorry if perhaps your husband is indeed a twunt (or whatever it was you were calling him) however, it really was not fair of you to make the comments that you made on this thread to parents who you accept are somewhat stressed. What sort of comments did you expect in return? Perhaps I was not as polite as I could have been or would have been under other circumstances but this thread is OUR little place to come and fret, chew nails and look at the clock and countdown the hours until Thursday morning. I am sorry if you though me rude and perhaps hypocritical but your posts to me (and I believe perhaps some other posters) have come across as rude and somewhat insulting.

I feel I have no choice but to hide this thread now as I find your comments upsetting at a particularly stressful time. Thank you for taking this supportive thread away from me.

Pagwatch · 16/08/2011 22:36

To be honest dementedma it is hard to see what your initial post was intended to do other than be sneery. If that was not your intent then it was appallingly poorly executed.
To then blame MN -as if everyone seeing you are rude is just over sensitive and precious is a little self indulgent.

You could just say 'sorry, I didn't mean it quite as it sounded' and you would sound a bit less.....

carpwidow · 16/08/2011 22:44

Calm down and be NICE everyone. Sometimes the written word can sound rather more curt than it would if spoken. Personal circumstances at the time of reading leads people to infer certain things from certain posts. Looking back at this thread (my own posts included), I can see how dementedma had a picture of upper class mumsies putting undue pressure on their DCs in order to impress the Jones' next door. Demented... that is soooo far from the truth here so I was a little offended. If DS gets his grades, I cannot tell you how pleased we will be for him and how proud his grandad will be (he ran the local chip shop for 50 years - First Class (hons) in filleting fish). If he doesn't get in, then the support and advice that I have gained from all the mums on here (which DS has absolutely no idea about) will allow me to be informed, stay calm and support him on Thursday morning. After all that, if DS decides he would like to work in a kids camp/au pair, etc, I shall start a new thread asking for advice, upon which I would greatly appreciate your support. Now good night. Wink Wine

FellatioNelson · 16/08/2011 22:54

I like you carpwidow.