Parent of oxbridge candidate-peersupportneeded

[funnyperson]

OK so my DD is applying to Oxford for entry in 2011 and has a 75% chance of getting rejected so I am told by the Oxford website so I reckon a new thread would be helpful for us parents who may end up with joy or grief but in any event need to keep sane enough to support our loved ones. Any tips on maximising chances of success at this stage?

The last few posts of the diatrebe attracted my attention.
noittirednow, there is a contradiction in your premises in post and you cannot convince with your position.

1. On open days: (a) There is no need to go to open days in order to apply to any university; (b) going to open days does not guarantee an offer and does not certainly add any amount of academic knowledge; and vice versa an offer is never conditional on whether you have attended an open day (c) me, going to an open day at Oxford on an errand with a relative 3 years ago we did find it rather unexciting and added nothing of interest except some beautiful pictures from the old buildings. The rating of the young man was a rather boring day. I do sincerely apologise to tutors for my comment. Some pupils who went to an open day at UCl found it a much more exciting day than Oxford. (d) i cannot see how going to an open day can seriously convince somebody to apply to apply to Oxford. (e) i and some parents of HE children and from non-illustrious comps were there with sons and daughters and we chatted between us and with the tutors . We just phoned the college and asked to come and was OK for any parent to bring their kids along. We did not have to be parents of indys.

I will continue later.

Sorry there is a spelling error, diatribe I meant

1. On open days: nottirednow, I do not gather what is meant be unsupported if they go on an open day. The scene is this: A tutor talks to all from a desk at the front, and when he finishes he goes round in the room from one person to another and asks if they have questions, All questions were repeated aloud to all the gathering -so we all heard them - by the tutor and his answer too. So we heard what the indys asked and what the non-indys asked. Again nothing exciting.

I honestly assure I did not see anyone whispering to the ear of anyone else.

I will continue

1. Nottirednow, this your opinion when you say "The admissions process is geared to these schools [100 indys]"? There is no proof of that. To the contrary, thousands of mature people - who do not go to indys - hundreds of disabled young people and thousands of state schooled people every year get in Oxbridge.

Number crunching means nothing. There are 100 high street dep stores and shoe shops that do not have a single shoe pair that fits my son, so, I get his shoes on the internet!

You are entitled to other people?s opinions as well but mumsnet is not the place for your diatribe. We chat in the threads constructively to see what we can do.

I wish to help you because i am not rich - by any stretch of numbers -and have had close links with state underprivileged schools, so I know some things inside state sector. (a) Do you really want to dissuade your underage son from applying to Oxford? And what is the gain of that to your son? (b) the children's interest should be our priority. (c) what are you going to answer him when he is 24 and he asks you ?why mom you did not want me to apply to Oxford?? (d) You say you will not stop him, but I gather he will feel vexed with you and imagine an 18-year-old setting off for an interview, which his mom is angry about!!! Please do not do this.

1. Here below I will give you my best advice for Oxbridge success.

(a) Leave the boy in the comp and tell him he can make it no matter where he stands. (b) Find out from the Oxbridge website what subjects are required for the particular subject say is it English, History, Maths, Physics, Chem etc? Speak to your Headteacher directly and pester him/her constantly to find if they have a really good teacher in the subject. (c) Ask the Head teacher if his school participates in the outreach - not all state schools are that keen, but some are. (d) Pester the Headmaster to tell you if they are on the mailing list of any university's outreach coordinator and if not why not. (e) Focus on the subjects required by Oxbridge entrance for the degree, and find free Internet resources to enrich the study. (f) Plan a solid self-study on the subject, try A-level free test pares. If need be, use a paid tutor once a week on the subject. This works, but does not need a huge sum; many parents (not rich) of comps do so. (g) Discuss with son regularly how it is going and ask him if more help is required. (h) if maths is a problem post here or Message me -don't say people do not want to help.(i) Buy your son a good pair of ear plugs and ask him to wear them if somebody argues that indys are better.

Regarding US Universities (which ones do you want to find about and what?) You cannot waive the app fee if you are not US citizen or resident (under stringent conditions). Getting in those 7 private US Universities who offer need blind is extremely competitive ? but never impossible -as the acceptance rate is around 5% only year. It is more probable to be accepted at Oxbridge.

Here is my (good) experience of an open day which I share because it is slightly different from above.
It was a (free) subject specific open day for students thinking of applying to read history at Oxford. It was on the faculty website and anyone from any school could apply for a ticket. Having said that, we applied in February for an open day in August and nearer the time there were no spaces.
The open day was constructed to provide a session for parents and sessions for students. The parents all got the same talk by faculty tutors from different colleges on the history admissions process. Parents asked questions and all heard the answers. The student talk was similar.
Then the students had 'taster' seminars on historical topics given by Oxford tutors- they could choose 2 of four.
After about 3pm, students and parents were free to tour the colleges and at each college- and this I found most impressive- the history tutors were on hand to answer questions, one to one, which my son took advantage of.
This last was the most enlightening of the whole process.

It was enlightening because the differences in feel of the colleges became apparent - you cannot get this from the prospectus. Some of the colleges (no rudeness intended) felt more like an army barracks. Others were astoundingly beautiful. The larger ones had a completely different feel to the smaller ones. This was the first time I had seen the inside of any college. I didn't talk to the tutors (forbidden to do so by independently minded DS) but DS did and it was clear that the tutors had very very different personalities, and very different areas of historical interest and so DS came away with a much clearer idea of what the process entailed, what he would be likely to be doing if he got there, and which tutors and colleges he preferred. He also really enjoyed the talks.
He didn't get in- but thats not the point.
The point is that anyone could access this if they wanted to and it was illuminating in terms of meeting the tutors, and finding more about the process and the place.

My sister has got the flu with waiting for her son's Cambridge outcome. DD is practising modesty and humility as there have been serious upsets at her school as 'dead certs' have not got in. Now I feel ashamed of having been such a wrathful parent last year for this thread has helped me see how difficult the process is for all parties. Good luck to those waiting to hear.

I wasn't wrathful with Oxford or my son btw- no, I took it out on my sons's school. Which, I can now see, was ridiculous in a way because there are loads of applicants for which the school is not helpful.

The ways in which the school can help are important though. I suspect the wording of a reference to bring out the independent learning skills of the student are crucial.

nottirednow,

I think that there is a misunderstanding re the open application thing. Earlier in the thread one person said that would never recommend making an open application for various reasons to do with statistics and getting a place you would actually like to live in for three years, and another person said that they would never look at whether a candidate had made an open application or applied to a specific college. No-one said that they would not consider an open application.

Betelgeuse are you calling yourself greencaterpillar now?

?

I take that as a no. Apologies.

Erm, I'm a don and I don't have a wife...

Grins at Sieglinde...

I've always wondered if there are any dons called Don or indeed Donna...

Ignore me, just this hour back from a skiing holiday ( verrry cold but I spent most of time holed up in hotel with youngest DD helping her do revision - she has some modular GCSES coming up in january and hasn't been well for most of the last calendar year struggling with Chronic fatigue, it's quite difficult trying to "teach" a teenager..)
Will be back later when the washing machine is on, seems to have been lots of interesting debate over Christmas on this thread.

Sieglinde if you don't have a wife what happens about the cakes and tea overlooking the quad-does the college kitchen oblige?
What is the origin of the word 'Don'? Is it short for something? When is an academic called a don?

TheHolly it is no use selling me the idea that being in the mountains in a lovely warm hotel with the option of skiing occasionally is tough. Lovely environment for education. Good luck with the modules though

DD doesn't have to do any modules this January but is revising for mock exams and has Theatre studies coursework coming up. Now ordinarily I would be rubbing my hands in glee but this time she has asked me to take her trek up to Stratford to see Matilda as the girls have decided they are going to something based on Roald Dahl.

And here is me thinking I have a companion to go and see the local excellent thought-provoking theatre with......

Scholarships to Oxbridge for Looked After Children could perhaps be considered. These are children in foster care or who have been adopted (sometimes, rarely, in their teens). They have 'corporate parents': health, social services, the foster carer. Multiple placements and multiple schools mean that educational attainment can be poor. Some are teens who are unaccompanied asylum seekers. A bright child in this situation would need someone to be like a motivated supporting knowledgeable parent- guiding them through university choices, and the Oxbridge process if it were appropriate. he commitment would need to be through the GCSE year onwards to have any realistic chance of success. At present their bar is set low in terms of expectation and I think this is a worry. I noticed that some colleges used to have scholarships for students applying from particular settings. The point is that the foster carers/social workers and students themselves would then share the experience just like mums on mumsnet and students on TSR so there would be a knock-on effect for other children Looked After in terms of further education.

Don is short for dominus, Latin for master. You have to love Dorothy Sayers for feminising it as Domina. But the really shite term is 'fellow'.

What cake??? My idea is bottles of claret, and sometimes mince pies, which I make myself. I have a room overlooking the quad, however

Siegmund has dined in my college exactly once, in ten years. Why? Because if I am dining, he is babysitting.

Sieglinde that sounds a bit sad about Siegmund not dining with you in your college- unless perhaps he is very familiar with it anyway and thinks of it as work. Could you not get a student to baby sit? When I lived round the corner from where I worked I had the medical students to baby sit- paid the student obviously- it worked well. I put a postcard up on the hospital notice board asking for a medical student - they like it because it is someone they know they can trust and vice versa. Mind you that was not so DH and I could dine in the hospital !

Does anyone know whether the Eton Scholars got their Oxford offers by the way? Not so I can sling mud at them but just wondering.

Impressive initiatives for Looked After Children on the Cambridge website including a travel fund to get there

www.cam.ac.uk/admissions/undergraduate/care/events.html

nottired now- the Sutton trust sponsor school children from state schools to go to summer schools at Oxford and Cambridge and other russell group universities- a work colleague's child went on one and had a great time.

www.suttontrust.com/summer-schools/

here is the link for the Oxford summer programme for state school students- uniq

www.ox.ac.uk/admissions/undergraduate_courses/working_with_schools_and_colleges/uniq/new_summer_school.html

good luck - keep going-

There is also the 'geema' intiative for students from ethnic minorities run by Cambridge

In addition both Oxford and Cambridge run mentoring schemes

Once your child has made up his/her mind about what subject to do and gcse results indicate that there is a realistic chance of academic success it is worth ringing/emailing the faculty admissions tutor or the subject tutor in a college and asking if a student would be prepared to mentor your child.

Many do. Nearer the time there is loads of help on TSR with personal statements help and information.

As a parent you will have to be very organised though because there is a lot of form filling and getting teachers references- which can take time. A lot is in the planning and in the keeping calm and not being helicopterish or pushy for your child. (not easy at all)

I must do some work. Good luck again

nottirednow and funnyperson In fact, Oxford university does assist since 2006 all the students from low income families offering the Oxford Opportunity Bursaries to ALL.
The link is below:

www.ox.ac.uk/admissions/undergraduate_courses/student_funding/oxford_opportunity_bursaries/

It matches the student grant so it can be around £3,000 a year. So the student