Parent of oxbridge candidate-peersupportneeded

[funnyperson]

OK so my DD is applying to Oxford for entry in 2011 and has a 75% chance of getting rejected so I am told by the Oxford website so I reckon a new thread would be helpful for us parents who may end up with joy or grief but in any event need to keep sane enough to support our loved ones. Any tips on maximising chances of success at this stage?

I am going to put DS2 up for adoption.

He's been told to wait until 12 tomorrow just in case. Now he announces that he has coursework due in tomorrow & he has to come home tonight to finish it.

WHY DIDN'T HE FINISH IT LAST WEEK & HAND IT IN ON FIRDAY??????

(fififi, it sounds as if your DS's interview yesterday was exactly the same as DS2's!)

Ponders - is it today that your son DS has been told that ( to stay til 12 tomorrow just in case)? I can't get hold of my DS, but he was muttering earlier that his email said he'd have to stay until Tuesday afternoon, although the college website says Wednesday morning.

I'll kill him if he's just taken himself off home without checking and double checking...

Ponders nooooooooo. Can you take down a computer and books?

yes, this afternoon, fififi. After I'd ranted at him he said he would go & speak to reception again, but they don't know what's going to happen in the morning & can't find out either apparently - so I'd speak to him iiwy, just to make sure.

As DH points out it is shockingly badly organised - 2 whole days for 2x30 mins of interview - but still, staying till Wed just in case was what they signed up for.

(DS2 spent many happy hours last week watching TV, chatting on FB, playing music & 2 whole evenings down the pub, ALL OF WHICH COULD HAVE BEEN SPENT DOING SODDING COURSEWORK!!!!!

I am a bit cross, can you tell?)

Ponders Or could you email his draft (hopes there is one) to him and he could work on it while there on a college computer- one of those helpers could log him in maybe?
Or you/DS could ring/email his teacher at school and check the ''real' deadline for the coursework ? email is best as avoids ambiguity and it can be copied to DS

Ponders/fififi I dont know about this year or about the colleges/courses your DS have applied for, but last year the second colleges for history hadn't been decided on until after the panel had reviewed all the interviews for the day - ie until quite late in the evening or indeed the morning of the next interview. and the decisions were made at both faculty and college level which is why it took a bit of time so it is important that your sons stay the time.

Actually I say that but some candidates on the day didn't get a second interview and were told to go home and were also told it didn't mean they hadn't got an offer. Those more knowledgeable may know what the process is this year- didnt optimistic mama get a document which might have that sort of thing in?.

DS deigned to reply to a text. He seems to think that a list will be put up later today (it hasn't been yet) with names saying whether you can go, or whether needed or may be needed tomorrow.

being let go tonight can mean one of two things I think - either you're in to the college where you've had your interviews or you're not and not being pooled either..if you're a maybe or worthy of pooling then you stay. DD was sent home at earliest opportunity both times she applied - the first turned out to be because she was rejected ( need a better word than that) and the second time turned out to be because she must have done enough to get into her first choice college.

having said that one of her friends was kept back, had an interview at another college and was then offered a place by the first college.

DS's texts sound tired (can a text sound tired? you know what I mean) but says he can't talk just now...

Ponders re course work - i agree with funnyp, why not email school and say he may have to stay up another day in OXFORD and if so he might be late with his coursework - would he be able to get it in the next day if late back? That would sound as if he'd done it maybe and it was purely travel logistics?

well amazingly he has shown some initiative & has done exactly that - he now has a 24-hr extension on his coursework & has been promised a def answer re tomorrow within the hour; & he sorted it out all by himself

thanks all for moral support!

Yes I think a text can sound tired. Do you think he is warm enough? Perhaps there is nice film in the JCR he can watch or perhaps....... he can go and play pool.....or, you know, like someone said before, pump the helpers to find out what the questions are this year........
Poor kids- they probably cope better than we think.

Ponders what a relief. Glass of wine indicated I think.

oh I would love one funnyp, but am stuck at work until 7 [cries]

fififi's DS & mine are at the same college - if only we really knew each & weren't just internet sprites they could get together while they wait

Woah, Ponders' DH. It's a bit harsh saying that it is shockingly badly organised. Try doing 50 interviews (for 3 subjects each) over two days, then some for other subjects as well. We don't eat without discussing candidates, sleep without thinking about them, most of us have abandoned our kids (even when they are ill) and we are effectively on call for up to two weeks... Not even I know who I might be interviewing tomorrow, so I can hardly tell your DCs.

Now I know it's more stressful for you and your DCs and I wish them all the best, but lay off the poor academic staff. Good luck to them in second interviews (which don't, of course, mean that they weren't successful in the first ones)...

I did wonder about telling DS to go up to any fellow boy there for PPE and whisper an aside ( a bit like the spies did in the Jungle on I'm a celeb - yesss I Knooowwwww, embarrassing admission from me there as to TV watching)" Is your mum one of look shifty ahem them?"

I couldn't though. He's like his dad, just doesn't get internet forum chats with strangers (although I notice he'll read pages of rubbish written by Chelsea fans on match days and of course facebook with his friends...). One day it's possible that Ponders DS and my DS will be mates but that'll have to happen naturally and in real life.

My DS says he doesn't want to sit around with lots of people just now in case they all start talking about their interviews - guess it's the same as not liking post mortems on examss.; Once he knows whtehr he's going or staying I think he'll go find one of his friends who is at another college for a different subject for chilling out...

oh I'm sorry, Don - I can imagine how time-consuming & complicated the process is (he probably can't; he works in retail )

Thanks for the good wishes & I hope you will all have a nice peaceful relaxing Christmas when it's over!

Thanks, Ponders.

Now I should get off this thread before I'm thrown out for not having any children applying to oxbridge. (At this rate, I won't be able to afford to send them anyway.)

(Actually, I won't have time to lurk so you're quite safe now. )

Donindisguise chin up, glass of wine or cup of tea- we need you to feel nice and relaxed and good tempered. I, for one, am in awe of your task. [fbear] Christmas is coming soon.

Incidentally- those whose DC did the TSA-one of the essay titles was about communication in the absence of face to face contact. Needless to say my DD talked about the internet.....
Gosh...the wikileaker has been arrested on what appear to be trumped up sexual charges. The world is changing.

Sorry haven't read all the threads but according to DS the tutors have a meeting now and the list of people they want to further interview goes up at 10 tonight. DS has been told not to go anywhere until tomorrow at 10am at the earliest...
Will go back and read all the comments now

Oh OK it's all sorted now by the looks of things...
DS has said the second interview today was much worse than the first one so I think that's why they are feeling a bit meh...
I just want to know that my boy can drive home in the light tomorrow!!!!
I don't think we can surmise anything at all from the extra interviews etc etc.Just have to wait for the letter which, I gather, could be as late as Christmas Eve (great!)
I hope they can relax a bit this evening ( no point in getting worked up if the notice doesn't go up til 10pm) and then be all guns firing tomorrow if that's what's required!!

Fififi DS last year found meeting the other candidates for his subject at his college one of the most sobering parts of the whole process- he was comfortable talking to candidates for other subjects at dinner though, so much sympathy with your DS.
Ponders I know that in theory the DC should all be well organised but don't you think that the episode with the coursework sort of backs up what I said in this thread a while ago about the end of this Autumn term actually being quite a tough time for the A2 DC- DS school aims to finish the bulk of the syllabus, by the end of this term and in addition there are upper sixth plays/concerts etc, coursework and UCAS applications/interviews. Its a lot for them and DS will go back to mock exams so little time to chill.
Wikileaks- Ken Clarke has said it has damaged diplomacy and diplomacy saves wars but he doesn't think that what wiki leaks has done is a crime.
Money for uni/Oxbridge- don't even go there- If I had known even 5 years ago the extent of finance needed I would have budgeted very differently. Or was I simply in denial? Have others saved up in anticipation?
Is Peteneras' DS being interviewed? Are there any Cambridge interviewees?

funnyp, when DS2 was a baby (siblings 11, 8 & 5) we had a financial adviser round who said we should start investing towards university costs then - how did he know?

He reckoned we should aim to accumulate at least £75K to put all 4 through uni (a slight under-estimate there but still - at the time tuition was free & there were still grants). Unfortunately that was out of the question for us!

DS2 doesn't get involved in college activities at all; his A Levels are modular so he has 3 actual exams in January. He had the best part of 2 weeks off in October for placements with a local MP, during which the other students did a lot of their coursework but despite quite a bit of nagging afterwards he appeared to make v little effort to catch up.

The Julian Assange thing is ludicrous. I had been looking for some detail on broadsheet websites but found an excellent account on the DM of all places earlier \link{http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1307137/Supporters-dismissed-rape-accusations-WikiLeaks-founder-Julian-Assange--women-involved-tell-different-story.html\here}

It's long, tedious & badly written (of course), & the wording has changed since I read it earlier, but when the case was presented to the senior prosecutor?s she said she didn?t feel it was a crime. Given all the circs, & the wild threats from the US, I wonder if the bail refusal is for his own protection?

stop press - om & fififi, DS2 has not got any more interviews & is on his way home (after all that )

So he's either in or out. (Anyway, not pooled )

just lurking as I remember going through this process (Oxford) myself as if it was yesterday - when I went for interview I was interviewed by my first choice college then my second (on a saturday morning when everyone else had been allowed to leave!) and was then offered my first choice college anyway.

I was asked at both interviews which college of the two I preferred, which i thought was odd as the preference was clear! However I did look at both at open day and met both tutors; so I guess they both thought I must like their college. FWIW I really wished in the end that I'd actually put the second one first as I think I'd have been happier there!

From what I remember the interview was very much to assess why I wanted to do the course and then get me talking about what I was reading etc to see if I could argue convincingly. As others have said it really did mirror the tutorial set-up.

Good luck to all your DCs - it's a nail-biting wait.

thanks, thirtysomething

you had 2 choices? when was that?