I went to Cambridge
(1998-2001). I think most people would be surprised that:
Most of the friends I made went to state schools (I went to an independent school) and were / are very normal. In fact I don't remember meeting anyone who was that weird at all. Or stuck-up. Probably helped that I went to one of the more modern colleges, rather than one of the ancient ones.
There was loads of work to do but I didn't have a complete breakdown. Or any breakdown for that matter!
I did manage to fit in extra curricular stuff and have a life.
Agree with 30AndMerkin that it is a bit different to other universities (primarily the access you have to world-renowned experts in your subject, and the amount of work you have to do compared to other universities - my DH went to a very well-respected university, also studying an arts subject, and reckons I did at least twice as much work as him).
And I think if you are a very sensitive, or insecure person you would probably find it hellish. There can be quite a lot of pressure - most of it self-imposed. But if you a curious, reasonably intelligent person it can be a fantastic experience.
Re grades: yes, of course you need top grades.
Re colleges: visit them. You soon pick up what they are like. But remember teaching is organised on a university-wide, not college level, so you will still get exactly the same course whatever college you go to.
For your DD, I would suggest that for now she pursues whatever her interests are: music, sport, charity stuff, Duke of Edinburgh, whatever. Nearer the time she should read around her chosen subject, looking at things wider than her A-Levels. So, for example, for English, read other set texts, for History, read more about a particular period / read literature from a particular country, for Languages, get into the films from that country (or whatever). I think the main thing they are looking for is intellectual curiosity and a questioning mind, rather than Mensa-level genius (I am the former and not the latter!).
Is there a careers service at her school? Does her school usually send children to Oxbridge?
Hello Noah btw!