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Guest post: “Big Porn is hurting our children.”

108 replies

JuliaMumsnet · 19/10/2021 11:57

Naomi Miles

Founder of CEASE UK, the Centre to End All Sexual Exploitation.

We asked Naomi Miles, founder of CEASE UK, the Centre to End All Sexual Exploitation, to tell us about their campaign to include Big Porn in the Online Safety Bill:

"Britain’s going to be the safest place in the world to be online, especially for children. Or at least that's what the UK Government hopes its ambitious Online Safety Bill will achieve.

The draft bill certainly prioritises the online safety of children, insisting that social media companies take on a “duty of care” towards their younger users.

However, dedicated pornography sites are not in scope of these landmark child protections. As a charity committed to the upstream prevention of sexual exploitation, we at CEASE are astounded that the commercial online porn industry doesn’t even get a mention in the draft Bill - in spite of its obvious unique and elevated risks and the mounting evidence of the industry’s complicity in sex trafficking and other criminal activity.

As our new report Expose Big Porn explains, porn sites are some of the biggest and most profitable websites in the world and yet, unlike other Big Tech industries, they’ve consistently managed to lurk in the shadows, avoiding scrutiny and accountability.

The fact is that Big Porn is hurting our children.

Firstly, porn sites give children free and easy access in order to make money. We keep children off betting sites and stop them from buying knives, cigarettes or alcohol either on or offline, but porn sites are wide open to anyone. These sites are perfectly capable of implementing some kind of age check and have been for years. Undoubtedly, maintaining zero barrier to entry supports their freemium business model, which depends on attracting as many users as possible. And perhaps these sites are not naive to the research that demonstrates children’s increased risk of porn addiction. Allowing kids onto free porn sites is equivalent to handing out free cigarettes outside the school gates. This is a future loyal customer base in the making.

While porn sites rake in profits, our children are shouldering the cost: in addition to the initial shock of exposure, research confirms that watching porn can also cause them profound psychological, social and emotional harms. It imprints twisted ideas about gender, sexuality, relationships, intimacy, sexual violence and gender equality onto their still developing minds.

Although the draft Online Safety Bill states that larger pornographic video-sharing platforms will require age verification, it seems obvious that this mandate should apply to all porn sites, regardless of their size and functionality. At very least, this will avoid leaving a wide-open loophole for the porn industry to exploit.

Secondly, mainstream popular porn sites are contaminated by unknown quantities of child sexual abuse material. This is the inevitable result of their business model which makes it easy for anyone to upload any content. Anonymous users can post videos of young-looking schoolgirls, babysitters and step-daughters. These instantaneously appear before a global audience of millions and, once they’re up, it’s almost impossible to get them back.

Many of these videos don’t actually depict children being coerced into sexual activity by their teachers, employers, coaches or family members; they’re young-looking adult women engaging in ‘role play’. But with no verification processes in place, there’s ultimately no way of knowing for sure. What we do know is that children are ending up on porn sites, and their lives are being devastated as a result. The ocean of role-play incest acts as camouflage for the real thing.

To protect our children from sexual exploitation and abuse, we must introduce legislation that will ensure porn sites either remove their video-sharing platform functionality or create robust verification processes to ensure that uploads only feature consenting adults.

And thirdly, porn sites normalise sexual violence against women and girls. The vast majority of porn represents harmful sexist stereotypes: men are sexually dominant and aggressive, whereas women are passive sex objects who exist to gratify men.

Online porn is having profound, real-world consequences. It’s incubating harmful sexual attitudes and behaviours in our boys, and pressurising our girls into acquiescing to sexual acts they find painful or humiliating for fear of being labelled as ‘prudes’. Ultimately, it’s driving the sexual violence that we’re learning is endemic in our schools and universities.

Recent research from Durham University highlights how one in eight titles shown to first-time users on the first page of mainstream porn sites describe some form of sexual violence (including incest, physical aggression, image-based sexual abuse and depictions of coercion and exploitation).

Not only does much of this ‘extreme’ pornography violate porn sites’ own terms and conditions, but it’s also is illegal in the UK. The industry won’t bother to clamp down on this popular and profitable content unless its hand is forced.

As parents, we must make our voices heard. We have the opportunity to ensure that the Online Safety Bill introduces robust regulation to protect our children from the online commercial porn industry. Take action today and write to your MP."

Note from CEASE: CEASE is keen to connect with people who have stories about the porn industry's impact on children. If you're a parent, teacher, a professional in a related sector, or a young adult who experienced porn as a child, and are willing to speak about your experience, feel free to contact Naomi on [email protected]. Thanks.

CEASE is on twitter here and their CEO Vanessa Morse is here. Naomi will be coming back onto the thread on Monday to answer your questions so get posting if you have any!

Guest post: “Big Porn is hurting our children.”
Guest post: “Big Porn is hurting our children.”
OP posts:
NaomiMiles · 25/10/2021 10:42

Hi everyone,

Thank you so much for your engagement with this, it's been really encouraging!

I'm here for the next hour or so, I'll try to respond to any questions, etc., please feel free to ask me anything.

Also, if anyone's willing to (anonymously) share their stories about how porn's harmed your child (or other children you know), we at CEASE would love to hear from you. These stories are powerful and when we speak out, it's more difficult for these issues to be ignored. Please email me ([email protected]) about this, or about anything else!

NaomiMiles · 25/10/2021 10:52

@ChattyLion

Agree this is a really important opportunity to ask MPs to do something about this. The link given above from CEASE is: cease.eaction.org.uk/onlinesafetybill The committee mentioned above, reports on the draft bill on 10 Dec, so it’s worth getting on with doing this. members.parliament.uk/FindYourMP

Could CEASE say a bit more about what the actual asks are that MPs could do to help to combat this problem?
Is it solely about (18 years and over) age check verification or are there other issues we need to ask MPs to take action on too, to protect children?

Honorable mention should go here to Nick Fletcher MP (Con) who has remained active on age verification on porn websites. As a Labour voter myself it’s extremely disappointing that Labour doesn’t campaign on this. Hmm The Tories’ manifesto said they would take action on in 2015 and they still haven't done so in successive governments.. this is worth a read: www.conservativehome.com/platform/2020/10/nick-fletcher.html

I would also consider copying in Robert Halfon MP (Con) who was calling for further inquiry around sexual assaults and rapes and rape culture in schools because these issues are going to be linked to underage exposure to pornography. Robert Halfon is chair of the Commons education select committee. Also perhaps to copy in to the Women and Equalities select committee (Chaired by Caroline Nokes MP, also a Conservative) as porn culture in schools is a systemic equality problem affecting girls as well as an education and schools behaviour/discipline issue.

Porn culture affects children and young people in such dangerous ways and it’s great to see CEASE acting on this. Thank you.

@ChattyLion, thank you!

There's a load more info about our other asks for MPs in our Expose Big Porn report: cease.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/210607_CEASE_Expose_Big_Porn_Report.pdf). There's a summary on p.6.

Basically, alongside age verification on porn sites, we want age and consent checks on user generated uploads (to prevent them from hosting videos of children, rape and abuse, "revenge porn", etc). We also want stricter regulation of the industry to ensure porn sites stop hosting illegal extreme material and the harmful content that violates their own terms and conditions.

NaomiMiles · 25/10/2021 10:57

Thank you all for emailing your MPs about this!

The Online Safety Bill covers so many different areas, and very few MPs are championing the regulation of the online porn industry- it's just not on their radar. This really is an issue that can easily just get lost in all the noise...

NaomiMiles · 25/10/2021 11:03

@llambingtime

Thank you for trying to address this massive elephant in the room. It really is massive - but I cannot see how the government can ignore porn if it is serious about addressing the widespread misogyny in society.
@llambingtime, it's remarkable how we as a society manage to look at different issues in isolation rather than stepping back, seeing the bigger picture and understanding the links! We absolutely agree, to tackle VAWG and widespread misogyny, we can't ignore the massive social influence of porn, where all the usual social values of equality, non-violence, respect, etc. don't apply.
NaomiMiles · 25/10/2021 11:12

@Haggisfish3

I’m also going to email. Had a thoroughly depressing lesson with year 11 lads about porn hub and extreme sexual practices being the norm today ( I teach pshe).
@Haggisfish3, depressing indeed! The sort of content that would have been banned or refused classification 20 years ago is now just normal, and things are only going to get more extreme...
NaomiMiles · 25/10/2021 11:16

@Sunkisses

I will email my MP, but I am also asking for the Government to implement Part 3 of the Digital Economy Act 2017, as this legislates for porn sites to have age verification procedures to prevent children having easy access. This legislation has already been passed, and it just needs to be enacted. The Government could do it now if it chooses to. Every day they fail to implement age verification, they are putting more children at risk. It is a scandal they haven't already implemented it now. The Online Harms Bill will take years to be debated and passed, as it is mired in controversy.
@Sunkisses, yes- it's all very well the government saying they were going to enact something better, but every week that passes, so many thousands of children are being harmed.

We've pushed hard for Pt 3 of the Digital Economy Act to be enacted as an interim measure before the Online Harms Bill comes into force (still years away) but to no avail. However, there are signs that the issue of children's access to porn is starting to be picked up more in the Commons. We have to keep on about it!

NaomiMiles · 25/10/2021 11:22

@Reallyimeanreally2022 and @QuentinBunbury: it's true, porn sites sometimes say they care about children but they only really care about the bottom line. Keeping kids of porn sites is a fundamental child protection issue. This is just about aligning our standards for online/offline!

NaomiMiles · 25/10/2021 11:25

@sleepingrabbits

The link made it so easy, thank you. I think this is so important as a mum of a boy and also a girl. It will affect all relationships. We need to fight against misogyny and this is a major area of concern.

I can't say I'm aware that DH watches porn, but sometimes things seem a bit erm hmm, where did that come from? I think there needs to be a campaign about normalising normal sex #lovevanilla maybe not the best strap on line but you get the idea.

@sleepingrabbits, yes bring back normal sex!!

the-breakdown.co.uk/we-need-to-talk-about-vanilla-shaming/

NaomiMiles · 25/10/2021 11:27

@Adirondack

I feel really disheartened that so few parents have engaged with this thread. I think it shows the majority of parents have their head in the sand over kids access to violent and misogynistic porn.
@ Adirondack, there's a lot of people in our society who are head-in-sand about these issues. It's something we have to keep dragging into the light because many people just don't want to know...
NaomiMiles · 25/10/2021 11:36

@MrsOvertonsWindow

Thank you Naomi & CEASE UK. In addition to the very good points made above I wonder whether you might like to cast your eye over some of the resources produced for schools for Sex & Relationships Education by certain organisations. Many of them have self identified as 'experts' in sex ed for children (often with zero relevant qualifications). While I'm sure most of them are well meaning, their "sex positive, no kink shaming and porn is great' approaches leaves much to be desired in terms of age inappropriateness and regressive views towards women and girls. Hopefully the new DfE guidelines emphasising the need for age appropriate materials, safeguarding as a priority and for schools to exercise due diligence will help but schools are busy places and when someone tells you they're an expert....... A quick google of the Proud Trust's dice game will demonstrate the problem.

I will also write to my MP - I do know that he is concerned about child . safeguarding

@MrsOvertonsWindow. Would totally agree. Whilst SRE has the potential to be brilliant, it also has the potential to be terrible. What's desperately needed is an approach that gives kids the skills to critically analyse porn/ porn culture so they think about its implications for their (future) relationships and how it undermines wider social values (and their own personal values).

Like the Talk to Frank campaign, kids should be given the full facts about the risks and harms of porn.

BTW, the Fully Human initiative is great- as is the new paper by Elly Hanson called Pornography and Human Futures:

fullyhuman.org.uk/issues/pornography

NaomiMiles · 25/10/2021 11:38

Agreed! Gail's Ted Talk on growing up in a pornified culture is a great one to point people to...

NaomiMiles · 25/10/2021 11:41

@Threewheeler1

Another thank you to Naomi and CEASE. This worries me constantly. We have to stop the rot, it is everywhere.

I'm lucky my 2 teenage DS still talk to me about what goes on at school & among their peers generally. No subject off limits & a lot of it is shocking.
I do believe porn & sexual exploitation is fueling a backwards trajectory in the treatment of women and girls - I've never known it to be so bad.
We have to keep talking about it and demanding action.

@Threewheeler1 It's good your DSs talk to you about it. It is shocking how normal it is and we'd totally agree that porn and porn culture are driving a regression in sex equality and the treatment of women and girls. Yes, we must keep demanding action!
NaomiMiles · 25/10/2021 11:47

@Wondergirl100

As others have said, it's sad that there is not more engagement here - this matters to EVERY PARENT. I think that unfortunately we as a society are too squeamish to engage on this issue.

Every parent should have a look at the main and most popular porn sites - your children ARE looking at these - even if you have blocks, they can get round them, their friends will show them porn on the bus etc - you are failing your children if you just assume you don't need to worry

When you look on the sites you will learn that a vast amount of the material is highly offensive, extreme, violent, abusive - that some of the most popular videos are of 'dads and step daughters' 'teens and older men' - this is taboo, depraved stuff in the mainstream.

We are allowing children to view this material before they have sex, damaging and warping their minds.

This is a public health crisis - and as with tobbaco we haven't yet realised how damaging it is - but we will wake up I do believe it.

@Wondergirl100. Completely agree! And the kind of tactics employed by the porn industry are similar to those of Big Tobacco 50 years ago. The media frequently publishes articles defending porn as harmless fun, trying to assert the harms of porn are still "unproven" and shrugging off criticism as "moral panic." It's infuriating! One of these days, the truth will out.
NaomiMiles · 25/10/2021 12:02

@saltandherbsandnothingnice

Thank you for this guest post and your work on this. Why do you think this issue has been forgotten in the bill? Is the Big Porn lobby strong in this country?

And if you have time - could you say a bit more about the impact of porn on children and the research about it? I saw porn on my cousin's laptop when I was about 13. It was hardcore and I was very sheltered. I think it traumatised me. I remember it went around and went my head and I found engaging with boys even harder afterwards and also developed a weird relationship with my body. All things that are normal with teenage girls to some extent but this, in my head, was a bit of a turning point for me I think. I remember thinking 'is this what I have to be like?'

Thanks again Flowers

Why has this issue been forgotten? I definitely think there is a strong Big Porn lobby at work behind the scenes, using notions free speech to ensure that online porn is beyond scrutiny. I think there's also a very low level of awareness, generally.

There's so much research out there on the way porn hurts children (cf. cease.org.uk/facts/pornography/how-porn-hurts-children/ and here: www.pshe-association.org.uk/system/files/What%20is%20the%20impact%20of%20pornography%20on%20young%20people%20-%20A%20research%20briefing%20for%20educators.pdf)

And I'm sorry to hear about how your exposure to hardcore porn impacted you. Feeling traumatised is a completely normal reaction. Teenage years are hard enough, and porn is like a shadow lurking at the back of so many children's minds, distorting their view of themselves and others, and giving them twisted ideas about sex. It's awful.

NaomiMiles · 25/10/2021 12:06

@tarasmalatarocks

It is also harming plenty of marriages too— which by default is also harming many children’s lives . So many young men these days have very weird attitudes towards what’s ‘normal’ and what women should be prepared to do to ‘keep’ a man and most of this comes from far too many of them having easy access to this stuff in mid teens
@tarasmalatarocks, yes this is too true! It's no coincidence that when it comes to porn, acts of aggression are almost always perpetrated by men against women (who just smile and take it without complaining). This is the example our boys and girls are growing up with!

Here's an article on how porn hurts relationships: cease.org.uk/facts/pornography/dont-come-here-looking-for-love-how-porn-hurts-relationships/

NaomiMiles · 25/10/2021 12:09

@Crabbyboot

Thank you for this couldn't agree more. I think part of the problem is that porn has become normalised in our society and people don't realise the harm it is doing. I certainly didn't think about it until I had my daughter. I am from a generation who has had access to porn from a teenager and now we are all adults. It's not until now I have really started to think how it has effected my past sexual relationships and how I thought I should behave as a woman.
@Crabbyboot, absolutely! It is so normalised, which is why so few people consider it a problem (like tobacco back in the day when smoking was normal). Our whole culture's been pornified and it really does shape the way we women think we should look/ act.

Don't know if you've come across Collective Shout (www.collectiveshout.org/) but they're great at calling out sexist/ pornified advertising, etc...

NaomiMiles · 25/10/2021 12:11

@VirtualLife

Thank you, I have emailed my MP too. She is very active on women's rights and human rights so am sure she will be on board. My own son was first exposed age 11 within days of starting high school. My friends son's were first exposed age 7 and 9, at after school club of all places, another child had their dad's phone ShockHmm. I have to admit I find it a really difficult topic to discuss with my son, it just seemed one minute he was playing with lego and the next minute I was having to explain rape and abuse Sad.
@VirtualLife: how awful! I hate the way porn sites put all responsibility for safeguarding kids onto adults. It doesn't matter how careful we are as parents, we can't stop things like this happening.
NaomiMiles · 25/10/2021 12:15

@Madhairday

Thank you so much for your hard work on this. It's so thoroughly depressing and seems to only be getting worse. So many people, even parents on here, take a very relaxed view on the whole thing - doesn't do any harm kind of thing, when in reality it is changing brain pathways, leading to addiction and contributing to the most horrific abuse and trafficking. I've followed you on twitter and will share, and have emailed my (hopeless Tory) MP in the hope he will listen. Thank you. Thank you so much.
@Madhairday. Yes, and it's no accident that so many people don't see (or believe) the harm: that's the line the mainstream media generally takes. That the jury's still out, that porn isn't really that bad, that porn addiction isn't a real thing. This is muddying the waters so that the average person doesn't take this issue seriously.
NaomiMiles · 25/10/2021 12:28

@DeJaDont

I would like to thank you for sharing this.

My son was arrested at 19 for sharing illegal images on the internet. He is autistic and long story short he was introduced to red tube by a school for friends at just 10 years old. Through that he found anime/hentai and was groomed by adults to get further and further into it. I had no idea about all of this until he was sentenced and the entire story story came out. He also went through the whole trans thing and spent 4 years on and off suicide watch. He has since acknowledged that he is not trans and it's no coincidence that it took him coming away from pornography in every possible way to raise that. But his life is destroyed. Everybody knows what he did and at 21 his life is sitting in his bedroom on his computer because who wants to be friends with a convicted sex offender?

And it's not just the effects it's had on him. My entire extended family have been severely affected by this. The children I have left at home had to tell their friends and I had to tell the parents before it went around like wild fire.

We have all had a semi breakdown and are in or waiting for counselling. I am an open and proud radical feminist and have been for 5 years or so. The struggle I've had with trying to reconcile my love for my son with his actions and my political beliefs has been intense and heart breaking. It's ongoing. Some days I can barely even look at him.

Porn has destroyed my life and that of my family.

@DeJaDont. What a heart-breaking story, I am so sorry! It's just horrendous.

Your son is a victim of a ruthless industry that takes no responsibility for the harm it wrecks on its users.

He is far from alone. Many professionals who work with sex offenders tell us that pornography often plays a key role in setting them on a dangerous path. Those with autism are especially vulnerable.

You're probably already in touch, but the Lucy Faithfull Foundation offers good support (cf. www.lucyfaithfull.org.uk/inform.htm).

NaomiMiles · 25/10/2021 12:34

@LivesinLondon2000

Thank you for this post. I’ve no objection to porn that shows sex between consenting adults but the stuff freely available online goes way beyond this and is basically just extreme violence against women. Just because these women are supposedly ‘consenting’ (and you can see from a lot of it that they’re either drugged and/or clearly finding it very painful and rarely look like they’re enjoying it - though I guess that’s the idea) doesn’t mean it’s acceptable in a civilised society. We don’t generally allow people to consent to gratuitous violence in other walks of life. It’s just feeding (some) men’s desire to be violent towards women.
@LivesinLondon2000, yes it's true: so much of porn is glorified, sexualised violence against women.

Just because a person is "consenting"- or even if they're "professional"- it doesn't mean they're not being harmed.

This panel discussion is really telling! fightthenewdrug.org/real-experience-in-the-porn-industry-a-panel-discussion-video/

NaomiMiles · 25/10/2021 12:54

Signing off now- thank you again your engagement!

Do feel free to email me ([email protected]).

Goodbye!

EnigmaCat · 25/10/2021 19:47

Mail sent, easy form and links.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 25/10/2021 21:33

Thank you, Naomi, great thread and resources.

ArabellaScott · 25/10/2021 23:05

Only just saw this - thanks, Naomi. Will email and share.

unwashedanddazed · 26/10/2021 00:39

Thank you for all your work and for making it so easy to contact our MPs. Mine is a strong feminist and parent so I'm hopeful she'll be supportive of your efforts.