Instead of starting threads taking the piss out of G&T children why don't you all just...

[PhantomOfTheChocolateCakeAvena]

stop it. It's pathetic.

Thanks.

[[http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/642931-quot-we-39-re-all-on-the-spectrum-quot-what?msgid =13134049#13134049 Here thread discussing whether 'we're all on the spectrum'.

Said it on there will say it again. My son (aged 9) has to think without language, he remembers differently to me (because he remembers in associations). He has to experience a world where his senses cannot be replied upon to behave. He is unable to communicate via speech because he can't speak. He explores a lot of his world using smell. He spent 7 years unable to imitate at all so if you said 'do it like this' he couldn't because he didn't have whatever it needed to be able to perceive and then reproduce that.

We don't all have a trait or 2 of that

You know what? I think the single most offensive and insensitive riff on this thread is the one that says that cleverness is a special need and that the parents of gifted children are in the same position as a child with asperger's for example. I think that is far more offensive than a little mild teasing of someone who thinks that their child is too good for the local school because they can count to 1000 at 12 months.

thread here

The paediatrician who diagnosed ds (in about 30 seconds flat!) specifically told us that high intelligence in children with Aspergers was a huge gift and advantage, as they could eventually learn to overcome their difficulties, compulsions, flapping, phobias etc and learn social skills that are automatic for most people. Without that intelligence, the prognosis was far more bleak. The depression and suicide rates for people with an ASD are, frankly, absolutely bloody terrifying.

The register we have at school is a joke. We have G&T targets FFS! And OFSTED expect to see what every school is doing to support G&T. Why is it not a credible answer to say, 'actually we don't have any children fitting that criteria at the moment.'

These children are bright,some are very bright but that'snot the same as gifted.

Having said all that, there is one mum on here, is it gracemargaret? whose DD is trully gifted and her experiences and worries really do have my sympathy. I'm not suggesting she's the only one just that I've read her story and can see her DD is so much beyond being bright. Parenting a child whose intellect is that far above and beyond the normal range must bring its own unique problems and I can understand said parents wanting to seek out others in the same situation.

I am off to bed now. Hoped your DS calms down soon Jimjams.

For clarity I don't believe children with diagnosed SN and those who are exceptional are in anyway equivalent. That does not mean that some children who are exceptionally clever do not have additional needs which should be acknowledged and where possible helped.

The g&T programmes in the schools is a joke, however the top 5% that are on the highest G&T levels do have social problems. Whether it's aspergers or not, it's still a problem (not saying that children with aspergers are a problem IYKWIM).They all need support.

My children aren't gifted, but if they were I'd appreciate a bit of support. I found this on Bully Online, which I found rather disturbing:

Occasionally, exceptionally able children are targeted and bullied by a less-than-gifted teacher. Sometimes this is referred to as the poppy head syndrome, where one especially beautiful flower that stands above the rest has to be cut down to the level of the others.

"however the top 5% that are on the highest G&T levels do have social problems"

I have met a lot that do not. Sorry but I can think of many children (and adults) who fit that criteria who don't have problems. One boy from ds2's school last year. 11 years old, talented musician, 97% in maths, academic all rounder - easily top 5% - also the most charming child in the school.

Where is the evidence that everyone in the top 5% of the intelligence range has social problems? In studies high intelligence does not seem to make people either happier or less happy. It does however tend to make people more successful and richer.

mabanana I think you and I might have the same child!

Hi Kerry!

mabana

I was bullied at 2 infant schools - for various things, including not wearing the "proper" uniform, wearing glasses, and a range of other things (2 totally different areas so completely different children)

At middle school (200 miles from my previous schools) I was bullied firstly and foremost because of my music. Over my 4 years at the school of course just using my musical ability wasn't enough them to use so it extended to other things.

At my new school I was bullied for a range of different things. (and my parents dropping me off in a bright red Skoda not dissimilar to this on my first day didn't really help set me off on a good footing . (Incidentally and totally off topic last year I was talking to my dad about that car and how embarrassed I'd been, not just at being dropped off at my new school in it, but also with it sat on the drive at home, and he called me a snob - saying there was nothing wrong with the car and he didn't see what the problem was)

I'd say the brightest kids at ds's school are also the most popular.

They're ganging up on you today, aren't they [pats poor Kerry's head]

Mabanana why do these children have poor social skills then?

Obamam is intelligent etc. so is my husband neither of them are exceptional. That is not the level of 'cleverness' I am talking about - which may be why we are talking at cross purposes?

It's good that you have found the exception jim. I have a friend who attends the NAGC meetings, she confirmed that most of the children there were unable to hold a conversation because they were off the planet. I'm thankful that ds isn't this bad. I don't think he'd have as many friends as he does if he wasn't as happy and fun (much to the teachers annoyance). He's the one outside running around screaming and shouting, shooting people with pretend guns as he goes.

The popular kids are the ones with 'emotional intelligence'. Sometimes that goes with academic aptitude and sometimes it doesn't.

I have several friends with exceptionally gifted children. Some of them are popular, but others aren't. The one who is on another planet academically has always had trouble relating to his peers.

'levels within giftedness itself' [spray] Kerrymum you are starting to use the discourse of scary esoteric cults in that last post, I think you need a few moments...

I loathe and abhor bullying and live in blooming terror of it happening to my oddbod son - I'll never defend it. I just doubt that it happens much if at all just because kids are clever or talented. That does not ever make it the kid's fault, just there is usually another reason. Guy, I know exactly what you mean about being mortified by your dad's car! My dad bought an ancient van and painted it himself. I thought of it as a form of torture devised especially for me!