So what do you tell your dcs when they ARE NOT in G&T ?

[Wotz]

Because my dd1 is having a hard time with all the "we are the chosen ones" chants, and we are "doing this trip and you're not" type comments.

As a bright and cheery soul who is not in the G&T she is being made to feel like a fool ATM and is rather fed up now with her mates remarks.

What advice do you offer your dcs, except for work hard (which she does) etc. yr 7.

Like any other rewarding/dividing children into ability, I think the absolutely crucial point is whether the individual school deals with it in a sensitive way or not.

It can be done without making children feel left out- that's the way it's done at my dd's school. There are lunchtime activities on hand for the G&T, but they don't get rewarded with extra trips or other perks. I am pleased that the school has thought of providing extra work for the G&T, but would feel a bit uncomfortable if dd got trips or other treats out of being clever. She doesn't need that. Also, I don't think she would enjoy it. To her, school trips are enjoyable precisely because you do them together and everybody has a good time. So she'd probably just refuse to go.

What the OP described was a situation where the G&T label leads to bullying- I don't think that would be any more acceptable if it was about competitive sports instead. Just shows the school (and the parents) aren't doing a good job of teaching social skills.

Bragging and boasting is unpleasant and unnecessary. But I do agree with christywhisty that no-one says anything about sports teams' days out or jollies.

Ds will never ever make a sports team, but neither he nor anyone else I'm sure resents a few kids' weekend away at a swimming gala or the badminton team's trip to France.

I was in the top class at my school but I really REALLY envied the kids that played musical instruments and were in the county youth orchestra, they went all over europe playing but my parents could not afford music lessons so I had no chance, but that's no reason to stop music lessons and stop people being good enough to play in an orchestra.
None of these kids boasted or thought they were great, they were just good at music...and some people were good at sports and some of us were "swots" (ie my class) but we did not turn into bigotted little creeps.
Even those picked out for Oxbridge coaching were not obnoxious, which I think shows my school handled things well.
Especially as, once one GOT to Oxbridge you realised what a dreadful bunch of superior snobs most of the other students were and are probably the parents of the Grim and Tedious gits mentioned at the top of this post!!!!!!!
Ah well.