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Gifted and talented

Talk to other parents about parenting a gifted child on this forum.

Original poster

So what do you tell your dcs when they ARE NOT in G&T ?

53 replies

Wotz · 07/03/2008 13:24

Because my dd1 is having a hard time with all the "we are the chosen ones" chants, and we are "doing this trip and you're not" type comments.

As a bright and cheery soul who is not in the G&T she is being made to feel like a fool ATM and is rather fed up now with her mates remarks.

What advice do you offer your dcs, except for work hard (which she does) etc. yr 7.

OP posts:
Hulababy · 07/03/2008 13:28

Sounds like the school has really gone about the whole G&T thing in entirely the wrong way here. Sounds awful for those not in the G&T group - really sounds like the G&T are being allowed to have extra treats and incentives and to be allowed to gloat aout it.

I think you just have to speak to your DD and make sure she knows that everyone is proud of her for doing her best and putting in her effort to her work. And what others do don't matter. And remind her that what her friend is doing is not nice behaviour and she should either ignorher r stand up to her about it.

Hallgerda · 07/03/2008 13:30

She should enjoy her freedom to base her self esteem and the direction of her life on her own priorities and on not a label put on her by others. She's not going to be put under pressure to do particular things because brainy people have to do them, or not to do others because they're beneath her. She's had a lucky escape.

And she's found out the true nature of her friends.

I'd have a word with the school about the "we are the chosen ones" chants. More for the benefit of the friends than for your daughter, who sounds lovely. (And you can tell her that )

Miggsie · 07/03/2008 13:30

I would say that they may be "gifted and talented" in some weird government defined way but they are also:
Mean spirited
Unkind
Arrogant
Nasty
Unlikely to make many more friends with that attitude
Have only one way to go: i.e. down
Are best alone to drown in their own crapulence

I would also tackle the school about the somewhat devisive and nasty cultural norms that seem to be developing among these children. I thought G and T was meant to encourage able children not turn them into bigotted little creeps.
Even if my DD was gifted and talented I would not let her associate with these children.

TheHonEnid · 07/03/2008 13:32

god that sounds awful

would be furious

lol @ miggsie

Kathyis6incheshigh · 07/03/2008 13:33

I'm not in this position because my kids are so young but I think if it was me I would emphasise the random, arbitrary nature of so-called 'G&T', the fact that it is done differently in different schools and that there are both lots of different ways of being intelligent and lots of other talents which are just as important and which she has (I presume) in spades.
As a bright and cheery soul she will probably get much further in life and be far happier than people who may be on the G&T register but are so lacking in social skills that they show off about it in order to make other people feel bad.

marina · 07/03/2008 13:34

I think you need to talk to the school about this, that's not appropriate behaviour from the G & T group
G & T boils down, IMO, to being "fortunate" enough to be born very bright. It's got nothing to do with application, effort, perseverance, overcoming adversity etc, in order to do well at school. Tbh her friends have nothing to gloat about.
So long as your dd is working to the best of her abilities she should be very proud of herself and so should the school.

Kathyis6incheshigh · 07/03/2008 13:34

x-posted with Miggsie who put it much better!

marina · 07/03/2008 13:35

Yes, she is Yr7. So old enough to have the political context of G & T explained to her.

Psychomum5 · 07/03/2008 13:35

but maybe the G&T club in her school really stands for 'gits & twits' club instead!!!

marina · 07/03/2008 13:36

also x-posted with Miggsie, hear hear

Original poster
Wotz · 07/03/2008 13:43

Thank you
I will let her her know some of your comments, which I am sure she will appreciate.

To me she is gifted in many things, some of which are not academic talents, but are skills which will get her far in life.

OP posts:
allegrageller · 07/03/2008 13:47

g&t seems to have turned into a badge of official genius.

Was talking to a taxi driver about his kids yesterday and the first thing he said was that his 13 yo was officially g&t and was taking her gcse's 2 years early!!!

Surely can't be emotionally healthy. And he was way overinvested in it imo. It was clearly the most important thing in his life, to have fathered a genius...

LynetteScavo · 07/03/2008 13:49

I find the whole "gifted and talented" thing very annoying. I believe every child is in some way gifted, or has a talent, it's jsut a case of finding what it is.

dinny · 07/03/2008 13:49

how crazy! what a load of bollocks this G&T thing is.

dinny · 07/03/2008 13:50

would love to see how amazingly all these G&T kids are doing in 10 years' time. so obviously riding for a huge let down in life, the majority.

allegrageller · 07/03/2008 13:53

mmm dinny- I think there may even have been some research into that very idea & it was shown that early 'promise' did not in fact lead to greater 'achievement' later. So why divide kids like that.

It is so artificial. Children (and teenagers and adults) develop at totally different rates. It's like everything is now a first past the post race- do everything earlier and earlier, establish your brilliance at age 8....

dinny · 07/03/2008 13:54

yeah, actually, I read an article in the Times last week about it, basically saying that.

depressing, really, why can't they just let children enjoy being young and carefree?

VictorianSqualor · 07/03/2008 13:57

Thankfully I don't think they do g&t at DD's school. She doesn't even realise that the reason there are two numercay and literacy groups in her year is because of differing abilities.
I think it's terrible to seperate children in this way, and actively encourage it.
I'm sure your DD is just wonderful in many ways. Tell her she can come look at my facebook and I'll show her all the supposedly clever kids at school and just how 'well' they're doing

Original poster
Wotz · 07/03/2008 13:59

She really enjoyed her new start in school and has already represented her school in sports. I think she feels let down by the school TBH and they way these things are told in advance to parents and children who are involved and not to those who are excluded.

We went to the schools meetings for new pupils etc and nothing was every mentioned about the school running this. TBH I had never heard of it. Nothing in any newsletters. You feel you are out of the loop.

OP posts:
edam · 07/03/2008 14:06

I'd complain to the head. It is not on for children to be this obnoxious. The school needs to do something about it. And more widely something about the way they are running the G&T scheme because it's clearly not going well.

DualCycloneCod · 07/03/2008 14:07

they MUST do g ant at every school
its how they do it and how the parents manage their kids to not be utter twats

VictorianSqualor · 07/03/2008 14:08

From what age cod?

DualCycloneCod · 07/03/2008 14:09

i think reception tbh
the shcool must haev a policy even if no provisionm but pref both.
tis liek special needs but at the otehr end
normally the kdis on it are just clever not gifetfd

dinny · 07/03/2008 14:11

the article I read said there is ALWAYS a great deal of parental encouragement behind those children who are supposedly G&T - ie. that a child whose parents isn't bothered is never flagged as G&T...

DualCycloneCod · 07/03/2008 14:11

really?
depends on what you call good parenting I suupose.
rahter way out families can parent well
just diofferently

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