Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Gifted and talented

Talk to other parents about parenting a gifted child on this forum.

Original poster

My DS1 is gifted and has Cerebral plasy. I want to put him into private school

35 replies

SparklyGothKat · 06/03/2008 19:46

on a scholarship (sp?) as I think he could do it. But DH is being funny about it, and won't discuss it. He said that private schools are hard to get along in if you aren't paying. A local-ish one has scholarships places for sept. I think we should look into it.

WWYD

OP posts:
SenoraPostrophe · 06/03/2008 19:49

well, it's not true that private schools are hard to get along in if you aren't paying (I was a scholarship girl), but they do tend to emphasise the academic over all else, and do turn out a higher proportion of snobby bastards than other schools. they are also not necesarily better than state alternatives - the results just look better because they select their intake. what's wrong with your local state school?

TotalChaos · 06/03/2008 19:50

agree with SP. What are you looking to get from him going to private school?

MABS · 06/03/2008 19:50

defo defo defo. my ds has cp and is at a private school - best thing ever for him! it's very outdated thinking that there are scholarship kids and non scholars at young ages,pre prep and prep .how old is he? at my ds and dd school i have no idea who has reductions and who doesn't.

Blandmum · 06/03/2008 19:54

Look into it, not all scholarships are 100% of the fees, some schools do more numbers of scholarships but at a lower percent of the total cost. Sometimes they will only cover one key stage as well, and the kids have to re-apply for another one at a later date IYSWIM

Original poster
SparklyGothKat · 06/03/2008 19:55

The local state secondary school is very good ( have already been there and looked around) I just think this would be a great op. for him. He is 10 and in year 5 atm, the private school is taking applications for year 6 and 7 for sept 2008. It is an all boys school tho.

OP posts:
shrinkingsagpuss · 06/03/2008 19:58

Go fot it. He would really benefit from smaller classes, and a chance to shine. get him the best chance he can at school, and boost his confidence ready for the big wide world. Some may aruge that toughening him up for the big wide workd works too, but if he's bright, take advantage of it - he'll have a lot of battles to face as he gets older, and a really good education will give him so much.

needmorecoffee · 06/03/2008 19:59

friend of mine has an 11 yo with severe CP (he can't speak either) in a private school as he passed all the exams. The LEA pay some of his one to one support and she pays the rest plus they got a fee reduction.
Would you be asking this question if he didn't have CP? If you think that this school isthe best place for him then send him there.
You might find any physio/OT/SALT difficult to get but you should still be entitled. They wont do it at the posh school though.
How severe is his CP?

Original poster
SparklyGothKat · 06/03/2008 20:00

only thing is that its only from 4-13 and then the boys move to schools such as Eton!!?? (according to their website)

OP posts:
Original poster
SparklyGothKat · 06/03/2008 20:02

if he was bright without the CP, I think I would still ask this, because I am working class, came from working class and people in my family (and DH's) don;t go to private schools.

OP posts:
shrinkingsagpuss · 06/03/2008 20:02

and your problem?....... if he does well enough up to 13, why not try for a scholarship at Eton? (if they do them)

shrinkingsagpuss · 06/03/2008 20:04

I live in Kent, and find it hard to get my head round the grammar school thing - at the end of the day, there is little argument that private/ independant schools usually offer better education, if only because the clases are so much smaller. Don't think of it as a class thing - if you can do it (or more if he can do it), go for it.

TotalChaos · 06/03/2008 20:07

the leaving at 13 for public school thing would put me off. More straightforward to look for a good private school that covers 11 to 18 range.

Original poster
SparklyGothKat · 06/03/2008 20:08

dh is refusing to discuss it

OP posts:
needmorecoffee · 06/03/2008 20:08

I'm working class (probably lower as my mum was a single mum on benefits all our lives) and the in-laws paid for the older 3 to go to private schools at 13 (they were home educated before then)
Me and DH are on benefits cos of dd2 who has severe CP and needs constant care.
The older 2 who have been or are at private school have no problems fittin g in at all. dd1 need moan on a bit about our lack of big house/car/horses/mansion in the country etc etc but the boys have been fine.
We are riff-raff but the smaller class sizes have definately benefited ds1 who has Aspergers and no-one has ever sneered at him for being poor.

Original poster
SparklyGothKat · 06/03/2008 20:11

he just said that its not happening.

OP posts:
LIZS · 06/03/2008 20:13

mb is right "scholarship" can sometimes actually mean relatively little financially and be limited to so many years or conditional on staying until 13, plus you might have to fork otu £££ for uniform and equipment , disproportionately for just 2 or 3 years. There may, however, be bursaries based on means tests to assist with costs. Do check out when the kids move on , some areas are more pro 11 than 13 or vice versa. Some private schools are strongly academic biased , some more sporty or arty, some allrounded. Some accommodate SN far better than others. Also think ahead as to where he might go on to , is it fair to give him an opportunity or expectation that you may not be able to sustain long term ?

Worth looking into at least.

Original poster
SparklyGothKat · 06/03/2008 20:14

no problem with eton, just seems so out of our world iykwim. (sorry for lack of caps, am bf)

OP posts:
needmorecoffee · 06/03/2008 20:14

what is he afraid of? Doesn't he want the best for his lad? Not saying the state school wouldn't be good but you should consider all options. Smaller class sizes are the main plus for me. I know my daughter with CP would sruggle with 30 kids in a class cos she has visual impairment and sensory issues too.
Mind you, my in-laws wont pay for her to go private cos they wont acknowledge her existance and think she would be better off dead so it wont be an option for her like it was for her siblings

MABS · 06/03/2008 20:17

does he have other reasons sparkly? having a child with cp, as i do, usually makes parents determined to try anything for their child i have found.

Original poster
SparklyGothKat · 06/03/2008 20:17

ahh just seen its a religious school, we aren't religious at all. I think i will at other schools tho. might be able to talk to dh seriously about it.

OP posts:
Original poster
SparklyGothKat · 06/03/2008 20:22

the main issue he has isthat heknows someone whose dd is in a private school on a scholarship and is picked on because she is 'poor' so of course, all private schools are the same (according to dh)

OP posts:
misdee · 06/03/2008 20:22

sheerardswood is upto 6th form

AMumInScotland · 06/03/2008 20:46

Some private schools are full of posh rich kids who will look down on others, but a lot are full of people from much more ordinary families who have just chosen to economise in other ways to pay the fees, or have scholarships or bursaries. I was advised long ago to check out the cars when they are getting dropped off - if there are quite a few with older cars, it's probably not snobby.

MABS · 06/03/2008 20:50

how very true Amuminscotland, some at our school have helicopters!!!!

shrinkingsagpuss · 06/03/2008 21:14

Neddmorecoffee I'm shocked!! that's terrible for your DD. bloody families.