Starting school early

[SkedaddIe]

I hope this doesn't come across presumptuous.

We are ttc our 2nd and want a summer child rather than an autumn child so that they start school younger but covid and post pill amenorrhea has really disrupted our plans. We ideally wanted a smaller gap between our children so they could bond and learn from and with each other.

Is it very difficult (in England) to start early for autumn children? And how would we organise it?

Dd 4 loves school and we really appreciated that the professionals are better at educating then we are! For example we felt a little bit bad that dd started reading at 2 by memorising words rather than being taught phonics and blending.

There aren't any good private schools near us but lots of good state primary schools and a very decent spread of grammar schools.

I think that our next child will also very likely be well above average at least and would benefit from the birth date acceleration just as my dd seems to. Plus 1 or 2 years acceleration feels to me like it is a good balance between academic and social development for bright children.

Similar to previous posters, was just going to say, it doesn't necessarily follow that because one is bright, the subsequent one will be?

Our Y6 DD is very bright (but interestingly was considered very average in reception and y1). Y3 DS is totally different, been in catch up sessions for last couple of years...

Children in the UK already go to school extremely early at the tender age of 4; in many European countries they don't have to attend school until 6 or even 7, without any long-term disadvantages over UK children. Why would you take away a year of your son's / daughter's childhood? I can see no benefit whatsoever, not even for gifted children.

I was in a dreadful mood until I read this thread. It's really cheered me up

In England (not sure about the other 3) all 3 year olds are entitled to 15 hours from the academic term after they turn 3 (or 30 depending on parents circumstances). So if your child is born between Sept 1st and Xmas they can go to nursery the following January.
Most state schools with nursery classes only do September intake so your child wouldn't be able to start early.
You might be able to get a place at a private nursery who would take your child in January. So your child could have 2 extra terms in nursery.
But really...why? Most parents I know of September babies love the fact they get an 'extra year' for their kids to not have to be at school.

I think that even if your second DC is academically bright, this doesn't necessarily correlate with social and emotional levels of children a year older than them. I think as others have said that development is much wider than academic.

DP and I have both objectively I feel achieved well academically. So are in a not totally dissimilar position to you genetically in thinking about future children (not that I actually believe this means anything definitive for DC at all). I am thinking about school dates in TTC, aware that there's a large part of luck involved, but am aiming in a non existing ideal world for potential DC starting school as one of oldest in school year, with the research (and my own anecdotal experience) showing benefits of this. If they were one born at the end of the intake year, I would probably seek to defer for a year.

I don't think the is any rush, and that development is wider than academic readiniess only.

@UhtredRagnarson, if Op has posted the same question on AIBU or chat, it's fair game you have people who have wide range of opinions and different experiences responding to her comment. But this is the specific board, so it's not wrong to expect people who have similar children or experience to respond. And yes, the question can sometimes be quite extraordinary, but that doesn't mean you should ridicule it. You can respond to her with your honest opinion without making fun of her worry.

But this is the specific board, so it's not wrong to expect people who have similar children or experience to respond.

Most G&T kids have been born!

[quote Xerochrysum]@UhtredRagnarson, if Op has posted the same question on AIBU or chat, it's fair game you have people who have wide range of opinions and different experiences responding to her comment. But this is the specific board, so it's not wrong to expect people who have similar children or experience to respond. And yes, the question can sometimes be quite extraordinary, but that doesn't mean you should ridicule it. You can respond to her with your honest opinion without making fun of her worry.[/quote]
If I posted on the wedding board asking for venue suggestions for my 13 year old daughter’s wedding in 10 years time and stated that cost was not a problem as she would likely marry a wealthy man I would fully expect to be told to put the pipe down.

And at least then I would be asking about a child that actually existed!

Really?
You want a child not even conceived yet to start school early because you think they will be exceptionally bright
Ok

so it's not wrong to expect people who have similar children or experience to respond.

There are no similar children because no child exists!

Seriously, OP, it’s not worth putting this much thought into it. DS1 was a freakish genius- taught himself to read by age 2, independently reading Roald Dahl etc age 3.5, maths was about 3 years ahead of expectation when he started reception. He went to school at the “normal” time, and everyone was astonished by him. Roll forward, he’s now age 14. Very academically capable, but he’s not split the atom, written a Booker Prize novel etc. A good school will be able to cater for a wide range of abilities and keep them stimulated and stretched.

I have 2 other DC. Both very competent, but different to DS1. Early academics isn’t everything, and it’s a marathon not a sprint. It’s not worth tying yourself in knots trying to map out the perfect path for your yet-to-be-conceived child.

If they were one born at the end of the intake year, I would probably seek to defer for a year. I would be concerned about their social and emotional level compared to children a year younger than them. There was a child in DS's year who was deferred, and mature for his age anyway. He really struggled to fit in with the mostly younger children.

This place should be the safe place for parents with children with specific needs

The op is posting about a hypothetical child who has not even been conceived yet.

There is no child. It has no needs of any kind, let alone specific needs.

@PatriciaHolm

In English schools, it's pretty much impossible. It would have to be agreed by the admissions authority of the primary, decided on the best needs of the child, and it's incredibly rare. In fact in 10 years of being a governor/appeals panelist/working with the local LA on education matters etc I've never come across it. And as a PP says, you then have the issue that secondaries would have to agree too, when it came to that point.

I feared that it would be like that. We haven't had the best experience with local authorities to do with our house move.

We got a school place in our original area based on dd ability. It was a primary school that is part of an academy with linked secondary schools and acceleration pathways organised with primary and secondary teacher partnerships.

But our dream house came on the market and we moved during the primary admissions cycle after getting assurances from both LAs that we were in time. They made errors and ultimately we paid for it by dd not getting an appropriate place.

We submitted an appeal because an 'on time' application would have given her a place. Unfortunately it wasn't successful because despite our independent evidence none of it was SEND and not enough to warrant increasing class size.

However we did land on our feet because dd was a low birth rate year so a place at an outstanding school popped up, they weren't set up with acceleration pathways like the academy we appealed to but they are going above and beyond to give dd the best support and I'm super impressed with them.

But ultimately now we're very very vary and don't want to trust our children's future to LAs and we probably are being a bit OTT.

OP my DS1 started reading at 2, he learned phonics retrospectively. It wasn't an indicator that he needed early school. We've been lead to believe it's hyperlexia, just one of those things.

In contrast, DS2 learned to read via phonics, and at almost 6 is in-line with where he should be regarding reading. You can't predict what a child will and won't be good at.

DS2 started school at 3 and 8 months but that was because they needed to take the older ones in the nursery class and put them in reception otherwise they’d lose a teacher.

He was/is quite bright and had really good speech so was very quickly learning alongside the reception children, which hadn’t been the plan. Then he went into a YR1 class and coped really well. We moved areas, then, so he was put in a YR1/2 class but did the YR2 work. At the end of that year it went tits up. The Junior school wouldn’t take him so he had to redo the whole of Year 2. He was bored out of his head and I felt really bad for him.

@BlusteryLake

I agree. Do these people do on the SEN boards laughing at the questions on there? I think some people just don't get that some kids, from a very early age, are clearly very bright and that parents have questions and concerns about that. I guess they don't know any and refuse to believe it exists.

Some parents, with gifted children, go with the flow at such an early age, rather then make their children social pariahs.

G&T before they've been conceived - now that IS advanced.

My DD could count to 20 at 16 months.

My DS at 16 months wouldn't eat anything unless he "tested it" on his toes first, and spent a lot of time licking the furniture.

Wouldn't be so sure on the 2nd genius yet, though this has thoroughly entertained me.

My DD is academically gifted (also taught herself to read at 2, was quite fluent by 3). However, she struggles enormously with anxiety - being very bright means that she can struggle with peers; she has different interests to them. It was suggested that she move up a year at the end of Reception (she’s in Year 3 now), but school is about much more than learning academic skills. She needs to emotionally mature as well as learn good social skills. My DD already knows she’s “different” (she has HFA), moving up a year would have exacerbated this.

Your child will likely be better off becoming more “rounded”, so music, dance, a language, but most importantly, lots of play and time with friends!

I don’t think I have ever seen a post from someone worrying about their gifted and talented as yet unborn child

we probably are being a bit OTT

Little bit.

I'm not going to be having any sleepless nights about it and ofc it's more important to be healthy and loved.

But dw and I are lucky to have each other and be really really stable so these silly little things we can plan for and think about.

DS is early autumn born and bright. He could totally have coped with reception a year early but I'm so glad he was born a few weeks later and so was almost 5 when he started.
We were able to spend that extra year really nurturing him and his social skills advanced further by having another year at nursery school (3 days a week, 9-3).
As a result, he started school as a confident and social little chap and was able to read, count to well beyond 100, count backwards from 20, knew his 2 and 3 times tables, could do simple adding and subtracting sums etc. I'm quite sure he wouldn't have made this much progress with his learning as one of 30 in a reception class if he'd joined when he just turned 4.