Starting school early

[SkedaddIe]

I hope this doesn't come across presumptuous.

We are ttc our 2nd and want a summer child rather than an autumn child so that they start school younger but covid and post pill amenorrhea has really disrupted our plans. We ideally wanted a smaller gap between our children so they could bond and learn from and with each other.

Is it very difficult (in England) to start early for autumn children? And how would we organise it?

Dd 4 loves school and we really appreciated that the professionals are better at educating then we are! For example we felt a little bit bad that dd started reading at 2 by memorising words rather than being taught phonics and blending.

There aren't any good private schools near us but lots of good state primary schools and a very decent spread of grammar schools.

I think that our next child will also very likely be well above average at least and would benefit from the birth date acceleration just as my dd seems to. Plus 1 or 2 years acceleration feels to me like it is a good balance between academic and social development for bright children.

People are desperate to delay starting these days! I recommend you just try to enjoy ttc, and enjoy your baby without considering whether they are going to be g&t! Be grateful when you have a healthy child, when they are born in the school year cycle does not matter. If you start ttc now you'll most likely have a mid year child, they are perfect!

I think that our next child will also very likely be well above average at least

Okayyyy.

No, OP-state schools will not do this.

You’d better get saving for private-they might consider it.

FWIW, all of my children go/went to grammar school and all thrived in their age-appropriate year group throughout their time at state school. Like yours would, I am quite sure.

I agree @Xerochrysum. My DS was one of the youngest with a 19 month age range because children could have entry delayed where we lived. So 4 and 8 months with mostly 5 and some 6 year olds. The fit wasn't perfect but the year below wasn't either. It's better now as one of the younger ones with a 12 month age range. I am glad he is a summer born but I don't think I would start an autumn child early either.

I wouldn’t advise it. I (May birthday) was put up a year age 7. I had no real friends at school as I was so very immature (although I did well academically). To add insult to injury I was then bored to tears when I had to repeat Y7 (as it is now) moving from a 7-13 school to a 11-18 one. DM now admits it was an awful decision and they were flattered into it. I survived because I had friends out of school.

DS is right on the cutoff - we did consider bill delaying his start for about two seconds - but e started in the correct year and he’s fine. Always the youngest but happy in school.

@Muskox

I have a bright DC, he didn't start early but at one point it was suggested that he could go up a year. The problem is that state secondary schools wouldn't have taken him early, so he'd have had to repeat year 6. Not a great idea IMO!

That sounds horrible! My dd would hate that to happen to her. I wish there was a bit more flexiblity/fluidity in the school system.

The school she is now is fantastic, they worked with her nursery and prepared a little roadmap for her so I'm confident that she will get the challenge she needs but I feel that it would have been far more difficult if she was a year older.

😂😂😂

I love this board.

@UhtredRagnarson

😂😂😂

I love this board.

This place should be the safe place for parents with children with specific needs. Not a place to take micky out. Lucky you, to be able to laugh about real worry of parents. Shame on you.

Haven't you ever been tempted to just go with the flow, op? The trouble with mapping out your life (and the lives of your children) to the nth degree, is that things don't always go to plan and it leaves you and your family open to feelings of disappointment and unfulfilled expectations which can have a huge impact. There are so many routes to happiness. You can't second guess all the twists, turns. ups and downs, especially on behalf of an individual who doesn't exist yet!

Sorry, a “real worry”? This “worry” is that a child who has yet to be conceived is above average and will need to be formally schooled before the government deem it appropriate. “Specific needs??” There are no needs. The child does not exist. This is all in OPs imagination.

@UhtredRagnarson

😂😂😂

I love this board.

Why be such a nasty person to parents who have concerns about their children? If you don't have experience with gifted children then why are you here? Just to have a laugh at others' expense?

@Bringonspring

Early years are so as much about socialisation/emotional development as well as they are academics. I worry that you will disadvantage an advantage child by doing this.

As an FYI, I’ll be honest you are pretty assumptionous to presume your second child will be bright. Please don’t say this all out loud on the school gates, you’ll isolate you and your children pretty early doors

I wouldn't dare. I much prefer to be ridiculed anonymously about my pfb lol.

We already felt awkward about her being so bright, as we've also moved to a new area. The last thing we'd want us to be is 'that' arrogant family.

We even had a micro scandal where one of the mums thought dw was lying/hiding dd could read because we asked which chip, kipper set to get over Xmas (because we're new to phonics). Then they later found out that dd was one of the two first 'readers'. She did do the picture books for about a week but caught up on phonics quickly at school. I think some of the parents still think we're secretly drilling her at home.

Why be such a nasty person to parents who have concerns about their children?

There is no child!! It doesn’t exist.

I agree. Do these people do on the SEN boards laughing at the questions on there? I think some people just don't get that some kids, from a very early age, are clearly very bright and that parents have questions and concerns about that. I guess they don't know any and refuse to believe it exists.

If you don't have experience with gifted children then why are you here?

Why on earth do you think I don’t have experience with a gifted child?

from a very early age, are clearly very bright and that parents have questions and concerns about that.

From a very early age? Pre conception is pushing it bit do you not think?

This place should be the safe place for parents with children with specific needs. Not a place to take micky out. Lucky you, to be able to laugh about real worry of parents. Shame on you

There is no child,specific needs or otherwise. It was a hypothetical question but one that raised a few people's

OP I have one very academically gifted child, currently doing uni applications. My other child struggles hugely with school, and is more sporty.

Wait until the child is born and find out what talents they have before you start planning how to meet them.

@Liquorishtoffee

Do people really try to plan conception around potential school start dates?

Common for teachers, to maximise maternity leave. Finish work in July with your colleagues, a year’s maternity leave starting when bubs is born in early September, return to work the next academic year. 13/14 months off!

Please read about how YOU can support your child as an individual. You are in charge of your child's education. You can choose to delegate that to a school if you like, but it's ultimately your responsibility in law.

Enabling an individual child to succeed in his or her talents is something that should be accessible to every parent. It's worrying that you think school automatically did that better....? All that says to me is that your eldest copes with the institutionalised education system better than most.

Don't think in terms of intelligence/ability until whatever they shine in is apparent. Just try and work on your own parenting skills and read widely on that. Not parenting that pushes anything, but parenting that encourages individualism.

I have a bright child who was moved up in primary, to be honest it was terrible for her socially.
Resented by the kids in the new class and resented by the old class, we had some bullying issues which have had lasting effects.
If you have bright children, try and encourage development and interests widthways don't just focus upwards.

@Liquorishtoffee

Do people really try to plan conception around potential school start dates?

Absolutely.

Being the eldest in the year benefits them throughout school.

They're 20% older than the youngest in the class; their brains are 20% more developed, they're physically bigger and stronger; thus there academics and their coordination/ sporting achievements will be publicly recognised. Thus will they have greater self-confidence.

A good friend's DS is Sept 5 born. My DS is late May. Their school measured progress in Key Stage signifiers, like 2a, b,c; 3a etc.

Her DS achieved a 3 in his KS1 tests, well done! Mine got a 2 ('expected' achievement).

That Xmas, my DS was achieving 3s, so actually 5 months earlier than her DS had, but no one was hanging out the bunting for him!

There's a reason why Oxbridge has a disproportionate number of Autumn borns on its books!

As for my May born, that was because it was half way between the Australian school start date and the English one!

Finally, both my May born DSs effectively 'repeated' a year; DS1 via attitude-issue AS levels, and a restart; DS to do an Art Foundation. But both would have benefitted from 2 years in Reception.

Crikey. I never even thought of that. DS is an end of summer kid. I always thought the biggest pain was the fact that he always had to have his birthday party before the end of term as most of the kids went away for the holidays.

I went to GS a year early in 1973 😂 as my primary had become overcrowded due to local development before house builders had to consider amenities!

It was fine(ish) 10-15, but it didn't serve me well from then on.

This is probably the most random thread I’ve ever read on MN. My kids are so different to each other, one is much more ‘academic’ and one is much more ‘sporty’ both raised the same. My sister is a doctor and I’ve struggled with dyslexia my whole life, both raised the same.

I would relax and not put pressure on your child you haven’t even conceived yet.