Does anyone have experience of a bright child being disruptive due to being bored?

[Aloha]

My ds has Aspergers and we are having a nightmare with his school - feel very let down. He is only five & in reception, but arrived at school able to read fluently (started to read at three), add, subtract blah blah. We think he is very bright. For the last year in Reception he's been doing Jolly phonics etc and basically working about two years behind his ability IMO. We are constantly told that his behaviour is deteriorating (long story) but I am convinced that part of this is due to his being bored witless. He is now spending more and more time out of the classroom and not learning anything at all
Has anyone experience of a bored child acting up and what did you do to solve the problem and did it work? Please help! Have meeting on Friday and want to bring ideas to the table.

I'd say give it a chance tomorrow

Hi Again..we worried about ds and frienships but i think he has more positive frienships now and spends quality time with his peers than when at school.We live in quite a remote part of ireland but there is still lots to do.Obviously it isn't possible for everyone but they are quite well geared up in the uk aren't they.Ds did go to a school in the uk for a year too...he was accepted there for how he is...but it was fee paying and i don't think we could have kept up the fees.Schools should be delighted to have bright kids imo.But they aren't generally...

Aloha, sorry to hear that this is getting all so difficult. FWIW I suspect that after Friday's meeting you will instincively know whether you can work with this school, or whether it is the wrong place for your son.

In general I think that SN provision is far superior in state schools rather than private schools, but is a private school unthinkable? The smaller class sizes,and regular parent-teacher inaction could be a plus. I don't know what support your ds would receive in terms of a statement and you're potentially giving that up, but obviously private schools aren't bound by NC or SATS etc. I guess my initial reaction to home ed is that if you start it you will almost certainly have to keep it up.

I am steeped in sympathy for you over this Aloha, and have no idea as to what would be the best way forward....you must be in torment. You are in torment. So sorry.

Does DS talk about how happy or unhappy he is, or about wehether he is bored? Is he able to do that?

The friend thing sounds terribly important, doesn't it? It doesn't sound as if removing him from the social opportunities is ideal...

I think, if it was me (but how can I be sure, I am not in your place) that if the school can be forced or facilitated (through statementing or whatever) to meet his needs, then I would prioritise his happiness and/or potential for socialisation above academic progress at this stage. As you say (and as I KNOW!) he is extremely bright and very capable of learning. It's more important that he gets help or solutions for things he finds hard (such as handwriting - or a decision to use a PC, for e.g) than that his reading or scientific study gets accelarated. He will always learn from what he is exposed to at home, museum visits, home reading - you are in control over his home reading material, after all.

But does he himself express any dissatisfaction or misery with school? Is he unwilling to go? I understand that his responses to things like this will be affected by his AS - but is he experiencing any of the pain it is putting you through, or is he, in his head, chuntering along quite nicely?

Look Aloha I think this is definitely the school, not you.

My Ds is in reception and they do not sit there and do Jolly Phonics - they did all that ages ago. DS - who is pretty unexcitable - would go bonkers if they were just sitting on the mat doing that. They have individually chosen books at different levels - and Ds is going through 3-5 a week - and they are also allowed to go into the library and get any books out they like to match their own interests - encyclopaedias, books on volcanoes and weather systems etc (DS bought a really nice cookery book home the other week!).

There is one very bright little boy in the class, but he just gets more and different books and is taught to his level in the class. There is also a "Maths Fun" class after school which I know he goes to and basically does Maths with other like minded children from Years R-2.

We have a School/home book which is filled in very regularly - DS is fairly low maintenance, but his teacher will note if he has been looking a bit tired or off the ball - and similarly if he is doing well, so we never would get a surprise. the school is extremely hot on parent teacher communication and would positively welcome you with open arms if you wanted to discuss things.

When I'm reading about your problems, what stands out to me is not how your son is "failing" at school but how the school is failing your son. If you do not feel happy with the responses you get tomorrow can you seriously consider moving school?

If we come out of the meeting feeling bad will definitely think of moving him and will look at two possible local schools, one in Peckham/E Dulwich borders, one in Camberwell.

I will pop to the post office later to buy a notebook which I shall label myself 'ds's Home School Book'.
Am writing a Big List of what needs to be said/agreed.

Wish me luck!

Can't go on like this.

Res tatement

Won't make any difference to the statement the school is only named at the final stage anyway- at this stage you still need to get them to agree to carry out a statuatory assessment (there are 2 stages to getting a statement; 1st they assess to see whether they will assess, if they decide yes, then they assess to see whether they will give a statement).

If you're thinking of home edding you need "home educating our autistic spectrum children; paths are made for walking " (or something like that). There's a SN home ed list as well. I think it's worth looking at other schools though; as good school can help with building confidence in social situations etc, which is a vital piece of curriculum for children with AS really.

GOOD LUCK!!!

(Fwiw I think Blu's points are vg.)

Absolutely want him to be with other children and have friends. I don't want to home ed at all! I have mumsnetting to do But at the moment it's just gone so wrong at school.

yes, good luck aloha.

Aloha I do reeally feel for you. I have a very good friend who is going through something very similar and I hate seeing the strain she is under, especially when the school are constantly treating her lovely, very bright but sometimes "oppositional" boy as a problem to be solved rather than a child to be nurtured. I think there are supportive environments and teachers out there who will treat your boy as he deserves and you need to focus your efforts on finding those rather than trying to force his current school to be supportive, because it sounds like you will always feel iek you are fighting with them rather than working with them.

Let us know how it goes Aloha! At least afterwards you will hopefully be in a position to come to a decision and move forwards.

I think he needs a small/academic private school....where he will get loads of one to one, less ' noise ' in the system and maybe a greater tolerance of his AS...Scope out such a school and then,( if necessary....), go cap in hand, saying this is how much we can afford etc...You need to swalow any qualms you might have re; private education....I think he would really blossom if yo could get a small/quirky/academic school for him....
I'd for get the statement....it doesn't mean the school will be any more suitable for him....and he's labellled....

Good luck for tomorrow Aloha.
Try not to feel too stressed - everything will work out one way or another in the near future

His paediatrician is quite shocked. he originally told us ds prob wouldn't need a statement and has told us that ds should be manageable in school. But he did say that we should be 'careful' about where he goes to school.

I am worried that an fee-paying school wouldn't take him now

Don't see why not Aloha

mozhe- a statement doesn;t label a child, it setsout legal responsibilities for the LEA, and provides extra funding. In the right school a statement can make all the difference between something working and not working.

I agree that a private school would be an alternative. Aloha the school I mentioned took the child I mentioned who had been statemented, and expelled from 2 schools - and gave him a scholarship, so the right private school isn't put off by it. If they are then its the wrong place anyway.

Did you see the school I linked to and that soapbox has visited aloha
I bet they would take him and it sounds a lovely place

Aloha, don't be daft, of course they'll take him (and your money of course!). Ds1's boys school does have a dedicated SN teacher, but the boys really have an extremely wide range of behaviour and other challenges. The big plus is that in a smaller class your ds would be treated as an individual. And by escaping from the stringent guidelines imposed on state schools the school would be able to cater to his needs with greater flexibility - it is more common to have classes for some subjects (esp Maths) ability based rather than age based.

As I said before I think that the SN provision in the state sector is generally much better, but many boys schools are actually pretty used to dealing with hf As etc. They just don't bandy labels around.

Thanks Dino!
I've seen him eat on school trips with all his class around him and he's been fine. Same with parties. I just don't get it.

Aloha, my ds is in a private school and he has a dx of dyspraxia. There are lots of children in the school with SEN, I can think of several with ASD, ADHD, dyslexia/praxia, vision problems, mobility prods and learning probs caused by cerebral palsy, as well as children with some genetic disorders.

This is not a 'special' private school. Just one that has a positive attitude to SEN. Being small, calm and well ordered the vast majority of these kids do very well. The have the same number of children on the SEN regester as the national average.

How much does it cost you, if I dare ask??!

Well, we do get assistance from the RAF (one of the few remaining perks of the job )

It costs around £1800 a term.

The RAF will pay part of this. They will also pay up to an extra £5000 a year for SEN support. For which we are very lucky. As long as dh lives to Sept.

The school is first rate, very supportive, and also flexable. It also provides the stimulation that dd needs, and she is at the other end of the scale.

For my two it is excelent, and they have been wonderful with the kids during dh's illness. I couldn't ask for more, if I am honest.

Not all private schools are like this....not all state for that matter