Does anyone have experience of a bright child being disruptive due to being bored?

[Aloha]

My ds has Aspergers and we are having a nightmare with his school - feel very let down. He is only five & in reception, but arrived at school able to read fluently (started to read at three), add, subtract blah blah. We think he is very bright. For the last year in Reception he's been doing Jolly phonics etc and basically working about two years behind his ability IMO. We are constantly told that his behaviour is deteriorating (long story) but I am convinced that part of this is due to his being bored witless. He is now spending more and more time out of the classroom and not learning anything at all
Has anyone experience of a bored child acting up and what did you do to solve the problem and did it work? Please help! Have meeting on Friday and want to bring ideas to the table.

I'm not sure. I do know that you can state which ever school you would like him to go to on a statement and they have to take him. Or that's what I was told. What about ringing IPSEA and see what they say ?

I do actually think you should have a look at the other. It may well be that you come out and think that he's much better off being where he is, but a comparison is very helpful I have found in the past.

I think as long as the new school was within the same local authority, it should not affect it-hopefully someone with more knowledge of statementing can confirm.

there's a boy in ds's class who doesn't go all day every day (he has special needs and has a lot of other appointments during the day) but they are working up to him being there full time.

I don't know aloha - I'm not sure it would work. Do you think he'd be able to slot back into the class (friendship wise) if he wasn't there every day iyswim? And if he was steaming ahead with you at home and then coming into school and still having to sit on the carpet and doing consonant blends, wouldn't you still have the same issues?

It's so difficult Foxinsocks, I just wondered if it wasn't all day every day then he wouldn't mind so much. How can he see/make friends if he's at home with us?

I was an early reader and I remember being given the 'job' of helping other kids with their reading in my class. I don't know if this approach would be too un-pc nowadays in case the kids felt belittled (as if they don't know their 'pecking order' within two minutes of sizing each other up on day one ) but I wonder if you could ask at your meeting tomorrow, whether they could allow your ds to use his skills by helping other kids? I don't know if his social skills would mean this would be possible - just a thought.

I wonder why they laughed when you asked how he was doing academically...I do think that his abilities put you in an awkaward position where maybe they are seeing you as a pushy parent? Most parents in my ds reception year (me included) are only concerned that our kids use this year to settle in to school, play, and make a friend or two. HOWEVER, if my ds were to be at the stage that your ds is, then of course I'd want him to get other things out of reception;

gah, I'm waffling; I think what I mean is, that I think your ds needs what reception offers and the academic stuff will come more in year one. However what he also needs is enough work that he is not turned off from school entirely and reflects that in his behaviour...

However I also wonder if you're on a hiding to nothing There are only five weeks left of this year now. My ds'school are HUGE on homework even in reception but even they are sending nothing home and the weeks from now on are peppered with parent/child tea parties, walks on the beach, etc etc etc....

Perhaps you'd be best advised meeting with his year one teachers?

Aloha, I can't help thinking you might be slightly underestimating the part his As and dyspraxia might be playing in your ds's school life.
Yes he's clever, and I suspect is like my ds1 (now 9) and is very 'fact driven' in his interests. He's keen to know stuff, and you know he can handle it and its frustrating that they're not talking about history or whatever but doing Jolly P's. All this drove my ds1 mad too.

HOWEVER, there's a whole other bag of stuff there, which isn't just going to go away because they let him research stuff on his own for a project. He will be more stimulated, but it won't necessarily follow that he'll become more socially able, or be able to write clearly etc etc and the teachers do need to discuss all that with you too.

Having said that, the school doesn't sound like the right place for him somehow! Square pegs and round holes and all that. I like Bink's thing about getting 'stuck'. Be open minded on Friday, it might not wash with the staff if you say 'he needs to be more stimulated' when they're addressing and seeing a host of other problems they need to discuss with you.

Yes, yes, yes play to his strengths - we all need to do this - but be prepared to hear about his 'weaknesses' (wrong word, can't think of another) too.

To be perfectly honest with you, I think you've taken a massive blow because of the way the school have dealt with you and with your son.

I really do think they sound appalling and even knowing our friend's child with Aspergers, never at any stage, even when he was being very disruptive, did she ever get the impression that the head teacher did not want to work at it and find a way this child could go to school. I think she got fed up turning up to collect him and hearing how 'difficult' he had been but once his one to one support came through (which the school helped her fight for), he has been a completely changed child.

My opinion is that if that school are not going to help you and are actively finding ways to not have him there, then you need to change schools.

This isn't your fault aloha and it's not your boy's fault either and I don't see why you should have to turn your life upside down because this school are not finding ways of dealing with him.

Find a different school, a school that welcomes children with special needs and one that wants to work with you so that your child gets the education and support he deserves.

Yes, I agree. I think foxy put it better than me though. They're unhelpful (and doing that throwing their hands up thing saying we've never come across this before - I had that) and it makes you defensive, quite understandably. Is not the best way to educated your son. Have you looked into the school Bink suggested?

I agree that it does sound as if a change of school would be for the best. Sometimes you just know it is never going to work and you have to make the move.
Also agree wtih a hundredtimes in that there is no ideal solution. Although my DS is interested in his project work, it does mean that he spends time on his own away from the class-in the library or working on the PC. So he is not actively being "taught" in that time.
Do you think his teacher is accepting of his diagnosis? My DSs year 1 teacher never did really accept his dx and consequently was never going to be able to address his needs; his year 2 teacher did not even seem to know what AS was, despite having been given literature about it by the SENCO. I am sure she never read it! What is your DSs teachers attitude to the DX?

Believe me, I hear nothing BUT talk of his 'weaknesses'. It's like having a bucket of shit dumped on your head.
They have never once talked about how to play to his strengths.
Actually, I'm not in the mood to hear how defensive and unaccepting I am when I am doing nothing with my time except trying to find ways to make things work for my son. Sorry.

I was like you Aloha, all the school talked about were ds's rubbish writing and his inability to concentrate etc etc. now he is at a different school it is a different stoy - I hear how lovely he is, how everyone likes him, how clever and polite he is.

his teacher wrote a report for his latest appointment with the CAMHS people and it was so lovely it brought tears to my eyes. unfortunately we were unable to change the approach of ds's first school, but have seen a different side to schooling this year. i hope you have better luck than we did.

Poor you Aloha and your ds.My ds dosent have Aspergers..but we felt his needs weren't being met at school.They carried out tests on him and then the teacher became panicked about what to do with him!There is only so much they can do..i think unless you fit a certain mould it is v.difficult to get help.Also people can think you are boasting or hot housing when from my experience it can be knackering! and i have always be led by ds!
We now Home Educate.

Fair enough Aloha, I apologise. Your hitting your head against a brick wall with this school then, if they're moaning and groaning and being mean and unhelpful and not coming up with any solutions then I think you need to move him.

They should be being supportive and understanding and they're obviously not.

Aloha, I am sorry this is making you so miserable. It sounds horrible.

I think go and visit the other school you mentioned. There's no harm in a bit of 'concurrent planning' - go to your meeting with his current school but at the same time you can be investigating another option.

Sometimes I'm sure moving can be the best option. Having to fight this hard just to get some positivity about your ds is dreadful and you could get this 'walking through mud' feeling for a long time unless the head is better with SN that it currently seems. They say a fish stinks from the Head .

oh and also you could investigate any local Home Ed groups - I totally know what you mean about how important it is for them to have their friendships. It may be that you could actually provide this more than you think you could if ds was home educated.

I've been hearing horrible things about my son from his school. It is very, very upsetting.
When I asked about his acadamic progress I was laughed at
Of course I want to make it work for my child. I've posted all over special needs. I'm getting a statement. We are currently keeping him off school because none of us can stand any more of it, frankly.

If you've got to the stage of keeping him off then I really think you've got to investigate moving. You're not keeping him off for any other reason than the school are making it a horrible experience for your ds and you.

What reason have you given the school for keeping him off?

No, parental choice to keep him off.

He's 'ill' (with a mild cold )

oops i'll shut up, misread!

Oh Aloha it sounds awful, awful, awful. You're absolutely doing your very best by your ds1 - who I have to say sounds utterly gorgeous and funny - and the school sounds criminal in its ignorance and lack of support.

Nobody should have to deal with that. Your ds is not at fault here, and neither are you. Is it possible to look into other schools? Ones that understand and cater for your ds?

My ds1 had a DISASTEROUS time from R-Y2, until we moved schools, as they not only didn't cater for 'odd balls' but positively hated them. Was awful. I spent years feeling rubbish about it. Then we moved, and hey presto, much better. BUT and I suppose this is why I said what I did below, his new school brought up the same things - and I had to listen to them - but in a much more supportive way, so I didn't feel so got at all the time.

I'm sorry if it all came out a bit wrong.

Aloha, I kow how awful it feels. I used to be in tears on many occasions (in anger and frustration as much as anything else) when my DS was in year 1. Is there any possibility of things improving next year with a new teacher? As I said, the teacher makes all the difference in the world-they make or break it imo, regardless of the head or senco-although a good senco obviously helps! I would have moved my DS this year but discovered he would be having his current teacher-I knew her form my previous DSs. And it has been so much better!

oh aloha my love, it must be piercing your heart having to hear negative things about him all the time - you really are not alone in finding that sort of thing incredibly hard to deal with.

I don't blame you for keeping him off, it must be soul destroying to eb continually hit by negativity. I found myself wondering yesterday whether you mightn't be better taking him out now and starting afresh in September. tbh I seriously doubt whether anything they can say or promise tomorrow or on the back of a statement should you get it, will alter your feelings about your and ds' experience there, both present and future. I hope I'm wrong though. I seem to remember you were so optimistic when he was due to start there, how sad it has come to this