I always said I didn't want a gifted child!

[mnistooaddictive]

As a teacher I have seen how hard life is for gifted children and how they often struggle to fit in. Having done research into asd and ADHD I came across a definition of a gifted child and it is like they were describing my dd. Even down to the love of physically demanding sports such as rock climbing!
I knew she was 'bright' but I guess she is a bit more! Struggling really as I can't talk about it really as if you mention your child is gifted people think you are arrogant and superior. It is a special need like any other but you don't get the support from others you would if you told them your child had ADHD.

She is just 5 and in reception.
Any advice? Do I get a formal diagnosis? She has the compulsive movement thing I have seen described as common of gifted children. Will she need help with this?
I would love to hear other people's stories and the pitfalls to avoid.
I really really don't want to push her. She will learn in her own time when she is ready.

Ah, I'm sure it's not just people in shops. I'm sure xenia talks to the servants too from time to time.

Xenia, I grew up in a grammar school area (county) and its system failed a greater proportion of children than comprehensive areas did (and I suspect that is still the case). It did very well for a small minority, however. So it still goes back to my point, that grammar schools and a dumping ground alternative are not the answer to our problems.

If the past worked better then surely it makes sense to go back to the past.

I would dispute that it was better. I would hate to go back to the past where a small percentage got a good education and the rest went on the scrap heap.
We need excellent education for all-not dependant on parental income or IQ.

You don't have to go back to the past, exotic fruits- only to Kent!

And lots of other places. I was living in one and moved out when I had DCs.

Deliberately, I should add.

Hi, i probably don't have any helpful advice other than to keep going until your child gets what they need, even if no one seems to take you seriously, you know your child better than anyone so don't give up. Im really replying form the point of being able to empathise with you, i have 2 gifted children , my oldest is 15 and doing extremely well at school and causes me no worry whatsoever, but its been a completley different story with my 5 yr old, he has been hard work from day one, he was always restless as a baby so i had to give him as much stimulation as physically possible, which worked fine untill he started school full time, nursery was ok as he was only there for the morning and i could take him out in the afternoon, but in school they started to get problems with his behaviour, in my view i feel he just wasn't ready developmentally for the confinements of formal education as he finds it hard to sit still and concentrate, i tried to explain that i believed he was gifted and that could be part of the problem but they said they couldn't do anything as his assessments for reading, writing etc showed him to be below average, also they suggested i take him to the doctors as they felt he has autistic tendancies and has now been refered to a paediatrician, although after they told me he was 'below average' i started getting him to work everyday on his reading,writing and maths and he has improved a lot and the school have organised for him to play football for 10 mins a day to help with his high energy levels plus i take him to sports classes and he seems to be settling down at school now. Apologies for this being a bit longwinded, i just wanted to explain my situation, im kind of feeling that we're getting there now but i spent about a year feeling frustrated and worried as its so important to me that my children reach their full potential as i know from my own experience that if gifted children are failed then they can end up struggling through life. Also I was very concerned that he would end up being labelled a problem child, it was already affecting the attitudes of the teachers, parents and other children towards him. Just wanted you to know that you're not alone in experiencing this, im sure i read somewhere that this is very common with gifted children and people tend to think its the very well behaved, quiet ones who just get on with their work that are gifted.

However the lack of separation of teh bright is one of the biggest causes of our decline in social mobility in the UK.

Xenia In the Nordic countries social mobility is about as good as it gets anywhere on this planet. And guess what - there is absolutely no separation of the brightest in the education system. (In my day there was hardly any setting in secondary schools!) There are very very few independent schools. Any pupil from any school will have an equal an opportunity to get into university if they are good enough (i.e. a bit of talent + a lot of hard work).

It's exactly the opposite - separating the brightest at school CREATES the lack of social mobility.